Breathing

Last week at this time, things were much different. I was excited at the prospect of spending a holiday with my COMPLETE family. Oh, how things can change in the blink of an eye. As AB has already let you know my husband had an unfortunate collision at a Thanksgiving morning football game that landed him in the hospital with a broken rib and collapsed lung. My day changed in an instant. Nothing else mattered. The turkey I had gotten up early to baste, the pies and foods I had specifically chosen for him (afterall, he was FINALLY home from Iraq)..none of it mattered. One of his favorite quotes is above our bed, “Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but the moment that take our breath away”. All I could think of was how badly I just wanted him to breathe, to be healthy, to be back with us where he belonged.

He was able to be released on Saturday night, and our lives are taking a slow pace again, and I am trying to be okay with that. It isn’t easy, as we have four kiddos, and in escrow on our 1st home. However, I am trying to step back and look at the priorities now. I thought that things like Black Friday, Perfect Turkey Dinners, and being done with Christmas shopping were important. Nope, not so much. I will probably be out finishing the week of Christmas…and thats okay. My family, and our health is more important..and far more valuable.

  I did …hmmm, wonder how?? LOL. LOSE weight over the holiday. Yet, I am still not going to weigh for todays blog. Instead I decided to measure.. 

 Neck: 12 1/4″ ( 1/4 ” loss), Chest: 44″ (3 inch loss), Hips:49 1/2 ” (3 inch loss), Waist: 40″ (2 1/2 “loss), Arm: 9 3/4″ (1/4″ loss), Calf 14 3/4″ (1/2″ loss), Ankle: 7 1/2″ (1/4” loss) all these losses were from the last time I measured…3 weeks ago!!!

Measuring and Breathing…my focus this week. Both are paying off =)

                        

Hibernation

A friend of mine used to tell me that I hibernated.  When life tended to get overwhelming, I would simply spend all of my spare time at home, no answering the door, no answering the phone, I would occasionally respond to email, but beyond that, I just hung out alone.  I never saw a problem with it, I didn’t even realize that I did it.  

Unfortunately, I am not a bear!!  During the months of hibernation I didn’t fall into a deep sleep and lose tons of weight.  I continued to eat and drink and to tell the truth, I find comfort in food.  

I would love to say that life does not currently have stress and I have no desire to hibernate, but I would be lying.  WAY LYING!!  So, how to deal with the tensions of life differently?  Now, I am seeing this behavior in myself, and wonder why I choose isolation.  I have been so blessed with friends and family that I trust with my darkest fears, sadness, and stress, so shutting them out does not seem to be the right choice.  

I found myself thinking about this often lately as life has thrown me a few curve balls and I have been doing a touch of hibernating.  It does help having active children, they make it mandatory for me to leave the house, but I find myself “faking it” through a huge part of the day.  I do realize that life is always going to offer tough times, but I am going to work on a different way to handle it.  

Managing to get through 2 of the big 3 “food” holidays and not gaining any additional poundage has been inspiring; I hope to make it though the Christmas season and still come out on the other end just a little lighter…Honestly Jenn!!  I hope to come out on the other end and be a LOT lighter.

3D

Delay

Distract

Distance

I need to practice my 3D’s much more.

Delay – waiting 10 minutes or so after a craving hits can sometimes be all it takes to help you “win”

Distract – I use this all the time on my kids…finding something else (non-food related) to take my attention from the wants I am feeling at the moment.  Especially when the distraction takes a decent amount of time (combining delay and distract)

Distance – Keeping the food out of sight is best, but if you can’t, make sure you’re not standing right over it, or beside someone eating it…or you’re sure to fixate on it and eventually give in.

I will be practicing my 3D’s this week to help me overcome my late night snacking issue I’ve got.  I know they are helpful at night when I remember to use them so I’ve got them on my computer.

I am up a couple of pounds from Thanksgiving and a desert trip…always tough to eat well at either of these.  I have been much more active lately which helped keep that number down.  The Turkey Trot was a great start to the day.  I also credit that from keeping me from eating too too too much.  But even keeping an eye on portion size, the foods that were at the table were all loaded with fat, etc which makes them taste SO good, but makes them not so great for a sensible meal…then there are the leftovers!  Black Friday shopping was a decent day of moving, and the weekend was full of fun on our new quad.  I am seriously feeling my muscles…now I just need to keep my moving grooving.  So, how was your Thanksgiving?  What are your plans to make it through the rest of the holidays?

Blue Friday

I was enjoying spending time with my kids and husband so much that I forgot to post yesterday! I did not forget to weigh in though. That wasn’t good news, but I’m not posting it. I’m calling it my bye week. Weighing in the day after Thanksgiving even when I added a workout to my week was a depressing idea.

In other bad news Aim’s husband was playing two hand touch football on Thanksgiving day and wound up in the hospital with a cracked rib and collapsed lung instead of at their dinner table…after waiting for him to come home from Iraq! He’s expected to go home soon, but we would all appreciate prayers, happy thoughts and good wishes on their behalf.

Aim didn’t get to go Black Friday shopping. That doubles the sadness of her weekend! Me? I dabbled in some shopping yesterday, but did not do my normal up at the crack of dawn shopping. Got one Christmas present. I’m learning to love Internet shopping lately. How about you? What was the highlight of your holiday weekend so far?

This week…I have to crack down on my bad habits. I have been getting exercise in and plan to add 2 jog/walk sessions each week in addition. What I have not been doing is paying attention to my calorie input. I DETEST counting calories, and it seems to push through this set point some drastic measures must be taken. My eating schedule has been horrible. I barely get a piece of toast in the morning then I’m hungry at school all day and maybe snack on a bag of chips. Then come home and eat way too much at night and before bed. Not healthy! I’m working on getting a good breakfast, packing my lunch and exercising restraint in the evening time this week. If that doesn’t work (ie – I don’t lose weight this week) then I may have to do the thing I have been dreading in this effort to lose weight and spend some time counting calories. {insert self pitying whimper}

Wish me luck!

Something new..

Have you ever had that feeling that you are going in the right direction, and you feel like tempting fate and pushing your luck? That was exactly how I felt when I took the plunge and registered my ENTIRE family for Fort Riley’s “Turkey Two-Miler” Afterall, I was accomplishing the high endurance cardio work-out right, I was all over this!! Ummm…wow. I didn’t realize that the creators of his event were a bit sadistic, and liked to inflict pain in the form of hills that make your thighs scream for mercy!! LOL. However, I had such a sense of pride as I watched every single member of my family complete the two miles…even my two-year old little guy ran the last 1/4 mile!! I realized that leading by example will just increase not only my health, but that of my family as well. A year ago, there was no way I was even thinking of doing that. I didn’t exactly break any land/speed records, and my sweet husband stayed my pace (even though he could have run circles around me.LOL)..yet, it felt good to reach the end and feel like I had made a GIANT step towards a new beginning.

The last few weeks I have struggled with adapting to my husband being home (have I told you the man is 6′ and 175 lbs soaking wet) and his ability to eat anything. He also has been in food deprivation for the last 8 months..so he has been splurging, A LOT. The result for me, at first was going to 247, and holding strong. Last week I dropped to 245, and felt better…not great, better. Now I weighed today (just for my sanity) and the scale was a pleasant surprise..242!! I am excited to be back on track, and even one pound less than when he came home. Now I just need to curb the night munchies…ugh.

In keeping with the spirit of Thanksgiving Eve… I am grateful for new starts. To be able to actually run with my family for the first time in years. Felt great, and I want to feed (bad choice of words) UTILIZE, that break through and have a new goal. My in-laws are coming to visit in two weeks. I want to be feeling the love of the 230’s when I pick them up at the airport. It is achievable, I just need to let my stomach control the amount I eat..and not let my eyes try to be bigger than what I can/should consume.

This year we are so happy to be able to have my family all in one place. To have a table that is complete, with my amazing husband. I feel truly blessed for the bounty I have received already!! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving =)

Finally!!

I DID IT!!

Finally, met my first “small” but still goal.  I am looking forward to the day that my goal is my pre 3rd pregnancy weight.  Yes, it went up, then up, then up again!  I have to admit, I was afraid to step onto that scale this morning, but with great reservation I did, and was pleasantly surprised.  

I am truly looking forward to Thanksgiving and many would think it was because of the food.  Well, I do love the food, after all, what’s not to love?  A whole lot of carbs covered in a whole lot of fat?  Well, I love Thanksgiving because it is a day to remember the many blessings God has poured out on me, my cup truly runs over!  

I have been blessed with the most amazing husband, children, family, friends, church….I can go on for quite some time.  Each one of you has been an integral part of my life, my growth emotionally, and spiritually, and now physically.  How amazing it is to be loved regardless of what I look like or how much I weigh.   How encouraging you have all been since I began this endeavor for the hundredth, but final time.   

Until next week… I wish all of you a wonderful holiday, enjoy it to the fullest.  I still fear that I will fail, but I am keeping my chin up and tr edging forward.  Exercise, water, exercise, water….This is my plan for the week and I do believe all success begins with a good plan.

Weighing In

Gosh the holidays are a crazy time. I’m finally feeling better and man have the errands and cleaning pile up while I wasn’t feeling well. Like I said last week, I’ve been relying on easy meals and haven’t been exercising tons. I don’t really want to weigh in but I need to know what I’m dealing with. You know what damage I’ve done. So, here is the moment of truth.

I am weighing in at…

WHAT!?! I want to be sick all the time! (not really, that’s the real cheater way to lose weight, there is no win to that kind of weight loss)  Seems like my body might be finally adjusting to my diet and losing weight. I am now at 238 lbs. which according to wiifit is almost a 5 pound loss this week.  Oh my gosh it just feels so good. I was getting so frustrated! I’m sure you all know what that is like. Please keep going! It took my body since September 6th to do anything very impressive. I don’t really want to do the math but that’s like 11 weeks.

I would have so been kicked off the biggest loser by now. Thanks for not kicking me off the blog. Hopefully this weight loss shows that I have been trying.

Now to get through Thanksgiving and black Friday this week. Oh and ribs tomorrow night at the  in-laws… Time to start chanting. “Skipping stuff will make a difference, little portions is all I need.”

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I’m not wearing underwear

Seriously. TMI? Too bad. My blog. My rules. Honesty is rule #1. This week has been another busy one and it seems my unders have been negelected by the “washer woman” (which is what my husband calls himself when he’s forced to do laundry because I’m always gone). Here I sit waiting for them to dry before I can leave the house.

This whole month has been rather busy. Using “busy” seems like such an understatement. Filled with non-stop activities, many of which were not desirable. But this week has gotten better. No one in my immediate circle has died and lately I count that as a good week. I didn’t have to clean up any puke either. Maybe I should consider it a great week…

Except I weighed in. I told you the stomach virus was cheating last week.

 

Over the course of the last month I have lost less than two pounds! And I haven’t had a single piece of candy. But my post last Friday was rather negative, so I went looking for some good news. I pulled out the tape measure and opened my spreadsheet which I created on October 14th (go ahead, call me a nerd, but spreadsheets make me happy). Since that day I’ve lost 1.8 pounds (big woop), but in the six areas I measure (neck, chest, waist, hips, right thigh, left bicep) I have lost a total of 4.5 inches in the last month. WOOOHOOO!  So maybe I will start believing people when they say they can see a difference.

This week I had a test in my abnormal psych class which in part covered eating disorders. While I don’t want to try to define “normal” I can say that I am definitely not abnormal. Reading about how people (because it isn’t just women) can limit themselves to only drinking coffee, force themselves to puke, take laxatives, workout for 3 hours because they ate a piece of cake…that just reaffirmed that I am doing this the right way. Hard work. The kind of hard work that makes you sweat in front of other people. And go out of your way to avoid the dessert table at church functions. And make insane decisions like thinking I am going to be ready to run 13.1 miles in May. (I got into the Ogden Half Marathon on May 19th!)

I’m going to keep on doing the “normal” things. But right here and now I’m making a declaration. I’m not even calling it a goal. It’s just something I am going to do. (cuz, you know, deciding to run a half marathon wasn’t enough for one week) For the first time in my life I am going to lose weight during the holiday season. By January 1st of 2012 I will show significant progress from my weight today…and because of a stupid statistics class I’m in I could probably do a math problem to prove it…but I won’t.

Wish me luck.

Finding the light..

After attempting to post this last night, and having it deleted (twice), I am here on the morning after to spill the beans. LoL.

Lately, I have been trying to push through the rut my numbers have been showing me. If I have to be honest, “pushing” is maybe an exageration..maybe a slight “nudge” every now and again. My workouts, when I do them have been few and far between..and I am exercising EXTREME willpower where food is concerned (and not always winning). However, I did discover something I wanted to share. It has been really cold here is the middle of dorothy-ville where we are currently residing, and I have been unable to do my walks. So, I thought I would put on my “Biggest Loser” DVD and speak to Bob (we have been very silent lately, and I only have myself to blame). I am not sure what possessed me to do it, but looking at the workout options, I selected “High Impact Cardio Workout” and started my stretch. Wow! I did not know what a butt-kicking I was in for. Lots of one-minute “sprints” of all out-give-it-all-you-got-before-you-die kind of punishment. However..here is the great part, I MADE IT THROUGH. I am talking the ENTIRE work-out. It is amazing when you shed some weight, okay A LOT of weight, just how much more you actually are able to do. I am not in shape (yet), but I am in BETTER shape than I have been in years. And that workout let me know I was on the right path. I can do this..and so can you!

It really is not all numbers, to be honest, I am not weighing in this week. I don’t want to set myself up for a number that I don’t want to see. When I visited my surgeon last week, and had a fill, I was disappointed when they weighed me in. I wanted more loss. More results. Better outcomes in a quicker time frame. He knocked me off my weight loss high horse pretty quick and explained that it was a slower process, and to look at what I had already achieved. He showed me a number that made me a whole lot more humble. As of that day, I had loss 35% of my excess weight since I first met him. That is AMAZING. I just have to look at it his way, and stop emptying my glass all the time. LOL. I am finding my skinny-me…she just needs a bit more time. So that is what I am going to do. Try not to focus on the numbers, pounds and immediate results of the week. Instead I am going to take it day-to-day and focus on what I can do to improve my routine. This week I will talk to Bob at least 3 times, and stay away from the carb-monsters that haunt my appetite. I will park in the farthest parking spot (unless it is snowing..lets be honest here. LOL) when I shop. I am also planning Thanksgiving Dinner, and researching recipes to make it healthier..starting with LOTS of sodium free products =) and scaling down the amount of food on our table. Leftovers are awesome, but not if they sabotage my weight loss. I am in this for the long haul…and I need to find foods that will go the distance with me =)

                          Be kind to your body, and smile more…thats my advice and I am sticking to it!

Thank you for being a Friend

Did you know it was Monday…I’m just putting the pieces together!  Ack.  What wisdom can I drum up so late on a Monday…

 Use your friends!

Be accountable and let them be accountable to you.

I was in a mud pit, so to speak.  My son got me out walking on Monday last week.  I felt so much better afterward.  Not because the work out was so wonderful, but because I did it even though I didn’t want to.  The week got ahead of me and before I knew it, the weekend was upon me…and I hadn’t gotten in another walk, run, anything.  I had a full weekend (in fact I didn’t even get any sleep on Friday to prepare for an event on Saturday) so working out wasn’t in the cards for me on Fri or Sat (recovery after the event)

On Sunday, another friend asked me if I wanted to go for a 3 mile jog (walking was to be involved too).  I knew I had to say yes.  Again, I was so glad I did!  It was a great time doing something good for us and enjoying each other’s company as well as the company of another friend who decided to join us – accountability is contagious!  You know the benefit of this is spending time with people you enjoy improving each other’s health, being involved more deeply in each other’s lives, real accountability!  Now that is something to cling to.  True friendship happens that way.

Well, it kickstarted something in me.  Just getting out and doing it has lit something in me.  I did an hour interval training on the treadmill today…walking quickly for 1 1/2 minutes and then a sprint the next 30 seconds.  I did this for an hour and the last run was at an 8 on my treadmill.  It felt awesome!  I’m recharged.  I sat down and worked out a schedule for my week – a much milder week – to get in my exercise..it’s in my planner so I HAVE to do it!  I credit this “charge” to my friend…the one I used!

Use your friends!

Have an excellent week!

Oh, I almost finished without a report (it helps me to keep accountable to all of you!)  I am down 2 pounds!  I am 171 pounds.  Now I’m not looking back at where I could have been if I’d only kept with it, I’m going to keep on THIS path and make a dent in things THIS week.  I WILL be in the 160’s by next Monday!

Oh, and if you’re interested, I will be walking on Thursday and Friday too…while T-Man is in school.  I know there’s a path nearby…join me?  My back up for Friday is to walk while my T-Man is at swim practice…making it a priority this week…and know that a habit will eventually follow.  I remember the days of really WANTING to work out.  It’s a matter of getting there again…here goes…

Thanks for letting me babble tonight…MONDAY!