A bit discouraged. :(

After a week of eating well, and exercising five of the seven days this week, I was actually excited about getting on the scale this morning.   I anxiously got up, went through my morning “weigh in” routine and voila!!!  I lost 0 pounds!  no, that is not a 10 missing the one, it is a big zero!!!  Oh my goodness, I was incredibly disappointed.   

So, I went to the couch, had my cup of coffee, and reminded myself that I had to keep going, and “let my success catch up with me.”  I do also remember that right now I am working on my spiritual fruit “patience”, and let me tell you, it is so much easier said than done.  

I found my patience being tested the rest of the day.  Life, I find is not the easiest place to practice patience.  Unfortunately, I find myself looking in the cupboard for a little “pick me up” instead of hopping on the treadmill in the garage.   

In all honesty, I did “hit the cupboard” today, but I also “hit the treadmill”.  Not a perfect day, but certainly better balanced than it could have been.   It is a new week, I plan to keep pushing for that big 30, and hope the success catches up with me by May 31st.

Love to you all!!!!  Happy week.

The start of something new

I’ve got so many balls up in the air, I forgot today was Monday!  A good evening to you all!

I started Body for Life today.  I’m going to be feeling it tomorrow!  Got my upper body workout done and it was a doozy!  Everything I ate was good, but I didn’t get enough meals in.  I also need more water tomorrow, but not a bad day.  I feel good about this plan because I know the workouts I’m doing will definitely be changing me.  It did before…it can’t not.  It’s a lot to commit to, but I’ve finally decided I’m worth it.

My sweet husband cheered me on while I finished up my exercises tonight.  He made a beautiful BFL meal for me too.  I love that man!  I am working on plans for tomorrow and the rest of the week because waiting for things to calm down around here would have me waiting indefinitely…

I need to weigh in tomorrow – didn’t happen today, and I need to take measurements, so I can marvel at the change.  Optimistic…

Another week…..

I feel like I need to apologize for my rant last week, but at the same time we are suppose to be honest and that was the ugly truth of how I was feeling. This journey we are on isn’t unicorns and rainbows. It is a climb up a mountain and the view from the top is of another mountain to climb. A constant up and down. Sometimes the mountains are really small, hills really and at other times we are staring up at a fourteeneer. (for those of you who are not lucky enough to live in Colorado, a fourteener is a 14000+ foot tall mountain.) Climbing one  is actually on my list of goals. It’s a big deal around here to do it.

As for my week, it was decent. Good really. I got in two 1.5 hour workouts and two 40min workouts. Watched what I ate and drank enough water to float a boat. I could have slept better but that’s a medical issue that hopefully will have some resolve after the 7th. I started back training for a 5k. I had to stop last October due to a torn meniscus in my knee and have just put off running again. I hate running. When does that runner’s high kick in? It was a great feeling though to find it wasn’t so bad. I figured I should start from the begining of the program since I hadn’t been doing it for so long. I was proud of myself to see that it was easier than when I first started last year. It wasn’t until the last minute of the last running interval that I caught myself reaching out to hang on to the treadmill. That’s a big deal for me. It gave me a little push. “Wow,” I really could get through this program and run a 5k. When you are in the middle of something hard or that you haven’t done before, it is easy to think you’ll never get through it. When I was doing it last Fall, I kept thinking I was crazy, not so much now.

Now my weigh in. Well, my prediction was right. I am back up 2lbs. Trying really hard to not dwell on it. There are factors that we could certainly chalk the gain up to. My Aunt Flo started her visit the same day. Bloating. The one time I really indulged was in the chili and homemade Navajo Fry bread the night before. Not exactly a light meal and my Achilles heel is a good bread. Whatever!

I may not have lost or am losing like I would like but I am having other victories and for that, I am proud of myself.

On to this week. One foot in front of the other. That’s the only “weigh” to get up the mountain.

Success each day should be judged by the seeds sown, not the harvest reaped. John C. Maxwell, The Difference Maker, Making Your Attitude Your Greatest Asset

Planning

This week I’ve been trying to work on planning. Saturday I made a meal plan for the week and went grocery shopping. By the time I get home from work I’m so tired I don’t have the energy to cook dinner {sad, but true story} so the night before I’ve been prepping the meal and putting it in the fridge with foil and then the hubs pops it in the oven when I leave work and I get to come home to a hot, home cooked meal. It’s a win win here, folks! I can’t believe how much this little preparation has helped me this week. The bonus is that I have leftovers to take for lunch the next day, so I don’t have  to spend money on lunch. It’s great.  

Another thing I’ve been working on is not weighing. I told Bry I was only going to weigh on Thursday mornings, but that didn’t last. But I did only weigh 3 times this week, which is pretty good for me. This morning I weighed and I’m down 2 lbs. That’s a good, healthy weight loss. I’m proud of that. Especially after all the stress that’s been happening my life. Yesterday I had a bad afternoon…. I *may* have indulged in some chocolate dipped pretzels. I realize that they weren’t going to change the bad day, but they sure did taste good. And you know what, it’s ok that I indulged.It is not realistic for me to say that I will never have chocolate, or candy, or ice cream again. Everything in moderation, right?

So, my goal for this next week is to continue to plan my dinners and to add in some exercise. I did go walking on Monday, but I need to kick that up a notch. Also, to try and remember that emotions, happy, sad, whatever they may be, does not mean that it’s a chance for me to eat poorly.

Hope everyone has had a good week!

xoxo

Autumn

 

New Beginnings

My husband reminded me that I have not reported on my weight in a few weeks, I can take this information and make many assumptions.  I am fortunate in knowing that he loves me whether I am fat or skinny; So I am simply excited that he is not just reading my posts, he is really trying to understand and support me.  With that being said I have reached the weight of 232.2.  Although I am pleased with the fact that I have lost 26 pounds, I know I need to step it up and work a bit harder at this.

Everyday is a new beginning, wouldn’t you agree?  I just read a quote today, by an unknown author, it read “If it matters to you, you will make it happen.  If it doesn’t, you will make excuses.”  I found this quite profound, and can be used in every area my life, especially my weight and health.  I have been so blessed that God has always surrounded me with people that love me regardless of my weight or size.  The challenging side to that is I had to make it matter, and I have not.  I realize that I am a very poor example to my children in the area of taking care of myself.  So, a new beginning!!

I have set a new goal for myself;  Are you ready, this is a big one?  By May 31st (of this year, not next)  I plan to be under 200 pounds.  3 months and 30 pounds!!  I know it can be done if I make it matter, so that is precisely what I plan to do.  

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Getting Back on Track

I’ve found that I am excellent at maintaining my current weight…since that’s NOT what I’ve been trying to do, I am changing things up.

I did Body for Life several years ago and had a rockin’ body, if I may say so myself.  That was the beginning of my decline. In 2004 I had elective surgery on my knee because of troubles I had found at the gym.  It was done while remodeling our kitchen so I was set up in the front room with my machines and had wonderful friends bring us food. Boy that’s a long recovery! After knee surgery, during the summer of that year, I broke my wrist getting out of the way of a HUGE spider and had a cast on all the way above my elbow because of where the break was. I had that cast on forever too – because of the kind of break it was. The following year, just before summer, I broke my ankle while playing capture the flag at an Awana camp. We went to the ER, got me fixed with a temporary cast and some really good meds, and went back up to camp since we were running the show. The next summer, I found out I had Mono and that troubled me for quite a long time – you have to keep to yourself, and don’t have the energy to do anything anyway…boy was I depressed.  Food was such a comforting companion for me.

Well, I’ve been fine for a few years now, and have yet to get my rear in gear completely.  I have begun running and know that is something I want to keep doing, but have had some issues with my “good” ankle.  I had an MRI recently and found I have sinus tarsi syndrome and tendonitis.  My ortho doc, actually I really don’t want to claim him as mine, he told me I was old and needed to change my activities to something more suited to my age.  What!  I’m too old to run!? I’m 40!  You suck!! He did an injection for the sinus tarsi and I did get a Rx for some physical therapy out of him and a Rx for some running orthotics and plan to never go back.  Fortunately my chiropractor is on my team.  He told me I was too old for sprints but I should be able to run until I want to stop.  I’ve been back to see him numerous times and feel we’re making progress.  He’s also helping me with my hip – IT band is tight.  We’re fixing me one piece at a time.

Unfortunately this has put me in a bit of a tailspin emotionally as well as some fun personal things going on at home.  I was also sick with a cold and didn’t want to whine about it all last week so I kept my trap shut.  Wise!  So…this week has been a regrouping week.  I’ve determined I need to reevaluate what I’m doing and do something I’ve had success with.  We’re fixing the room where our Bowflex is in and I will be using it a couple times a week as well as continuing to run a couple times a week.  I will be changing my eating completely to the Body for Life program and will watch my body change right before me and you…hopefully!  That’s the plan anyway.  My husband decided we would be taking our Hawaii vacation in July, so that’s some pretty decent motivation as well.

OH, I forgot I have a trainer too…I haven’t scheduled any appointments with her, but now that I know what I’m doing, I plan to get that call in tomorrow.  Ready team, break!  Have an awesome week…regroup and get going if you’ve stalled like I did.  We can do this thing!

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since my weigh-in on Friday, I have been rattling around this week’s blog in my head. Before I tell you how it went, let me recap this week. As I said last week I gave myself a pass for a get away with the hubby. We left early afternoon on Sunday. We ate out and enjoyed ourselves immensely. I didn’t go crazy but I also didn’t say no to the fried macaroni and cheese triangles. Why is cheese so much better when it is fried? We stayed in a 4 star hotel(Thank you Living Social Coupons!) and had breakfast at a place we were told we had to try. On the way home we went to the Ikea store for the first time. That place is evilly designed to not let you escape without spending money and after walking around their maze for 2 hours, despite my best efforts to keep us moving, we did spend money. Next stop was an outdoor outlet mall and another hour of walking before getting home before dark. I go through all that because that was it for exercise this week. Not one workout made it in my schedule. Nothing else! I came home to a flurry of messages and emails from my job and spend the next 2 days in meetings about budgets and taxes. Then have been working at fixing things late into the nights. We ate out 3 more times this week for lack of time. More than we would have in a month! I had no misconceptions about the number the scale would show, but still did my weigh in. Now they use your “base” weight (from the first weigh in) to  determine how much you gain or  lose. From my base weight, I lost. that’s right I said lost, 4.4lbs. Now when you also consider that my weight last week was up 2.4lbs it means that from last Friday to this I lost, LOST, 6.8 pounds! Seriously! Seriously!? As this has been going round and round in my head I went back over things and have found something interestingly frustrating! The weeks that I have lost the most and I am talking about before I was blogging about it as well, have been the times that I did nothing right! When I eat right and keep my calories around 1200,workout faithfully, and sleep better, I lose nothing and often gain. What is that about! It makes no sense what so ever!! Watch me get in my workouts this week, watch what I eat and be sensible and have a gain at the end next Friday. I have no inspiring story this week or helpful tip. This week is ridiculous! Guess I need to vent! I know this is crazy.You are probably thinking she lost, and not just a little. A significant loss. Why is she upset? It’s this conflicting thought process going on in my head. Thoughts of why bother with all the exercise and proper eating. Why don’t I have these losses when I have worked hard all week and deserve to see a reward? How is this suppose to help keep my motivation for going to the gym when my best results come when I avoid it? I can’t make sense of it. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i should be doing homework

…but I’d rather sound a little loopy and too tired to write well in homework for my online history class than I would here on my favorite blog. I’ve got my priorities! I’ve got to post before I’m babbling on incomprehensibly….like last week’s post…that I deleted a whole paragraph from after I read it the next day.

I made some big decisions and changes this week, but my weight stayed the same (affirmation that 2 good workouts and half heartedly watching what I eat is my maintenance formula). I joined a gym. I wanted to do this without having to put out big money for a gym or a trainer or any of those other things people invest in to help them lose weight. Low cost weight loss! But this week I realized that if I’m going to get my workouts in I need help. I need to diversify my workouts. I need more options than walking since my stupid foot thing hurts every time I walk/jog. I don’t own a bike. February is too cold to swim in an outdoor pool…even in California. So I joined the gym. I needed to recognize my limitations and increase my resources.

Now that my semester has started I have to seriously plan ahead. I don’t like to plan ahead. My goal for this week is to write down how I’m going to workout on each day that I plan to get exercise in and to get at least 4 workouts in. I’ve been filling the fridge and pantry with healthier snacks and foods that I can take on the run, but I haven’t been packing them to take with me. Someone reminded me this week that it’s best for metabolism if I eat 5 or 6 small meals a day. I’ve been sneaking in 2 meals and maybe a snack. My other goal for the week is to plan my food the night before for each day and on days when I’m going to be on campus for many hours (most days) that I pack plenty of healthy, happy, weight loss friendly food.

Ugh. Planning. Why do I have such an aversion to planning ahead? I guess if I could figure that out I wouldn’t be blogging instead of working on the homework assignment I haven’t started that is due in 2 hours.

Wish me luck!

Sorry blog friends

So sorry for the absence guys. We started looking into buying a home and it has consumed my life. It’s such a huge choice. I don’t know how to spend money let alone that much money. It’s crazy.
Anyway, my life has taken a drastic turn away from my daily goals. Let’s take for example my morning. Here’s how I wish it went.

Wake up
Work out for half an hour
Wake up my daughter
Get her ready for the day
Get ready for the day
Eat breakfast
Do the dishes
Find something fun me and my daughter to do together

I think the following morning is an example of what happens when I don’t sleep well and between looking for a house and staying up too late to catch up on what I don’t seem to be able accomplish during the day, my mornings turn out more like this.

Wake up because my husband is leaving for work and my daughters already awake
Turn on a show for her and make her toast and get her some juice to eat so I can maybe lay in my bed and concentrate on waking up for twenty minutes
Turn on another show and check my email and homes because I might as well be doing something if I can’t or won’t move
Get breakfast for myself
Think about doing dishes and sometimes getting them done

And by now I’m usually onto making her lunch. I’d say most days we are out of our pajamas by lunch but sometimes we aren’t.

Another one pound loss. I know there is room for improvement but I’m still glad that it is loss and not gain. I need new energy to change my life style and a source of peace over this whole where my family is going to live.

Love

To many, today is all about LOVE;  My husband and I never really celebrate Valentines day because we agreed (long ago) that it was important to express and understand expressing our devotion all year round.  So our Valentines day is used to have special memories as an entire family.  BUT, I have the privilege to post today, so I shall take this opportunity to announce to the world that:

I have the most amazing husband!  He is more than I could have ever hoped for in a husband and I am truly blessed to have this gift to cherish.

I know I am not on this weight loss mission for him, but I do think of how nice it would be to look like the girl he married.  I am finding this journey is so much more than losing weight, it is a long road to becoming the woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend that God intends for me to be.

My promise is to continue working on myself to become the woman God desires for me to be, and the wife my husband can be exceptionally proud of.

I love you all!!

I love because He first loved me. 1 John 4:19