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Wanna race?

After 45 minutes of a very heavy spin class (my tush and quads are gonna be screaming), my friend leans over and asks, “Do you wanna race?!”

Ummmm…..no! Is she crazy? Beside the fact that I needed to go drag my boys out of bed and get them ready for school, I was wiped out by that class!

Then she clarified, “First one to lose 10 lbs. wins.”

Well, that changed things. I’ll take all the help/motivation/friendly competition I can get, so here’s my weigh in after spin:

2014-03-24 weigh inWhen I hit 10 lbs. then I will be the lowest weight I’ve been (a) since starting this blog, and (b) since before my last baby…who turns 8 in less than a month. That is a little embarrassing to admit.

222 is the magic number we are looking for. Guess I’d better start a meal plan and stop making excuses.

Wish me luck!

Spin class

Keep your:

  • shoulders down
  • spine neutral
  • elbows in
  • abs engaged
  • hands light on the bars
  • knees pointing forward
  • heels down

This is hard to do at 5:45 am, I think.

Wish me luck.

Embracing the Ugly

 

 

You know those inspiring fitness memes? They say things like, “It’s better to be sore than sorry” or quote someone famous (like Buddha or Marilyn Monroe). There is usually a black and white picture of a super fit chick with sweat dripping off her muscles to accompany the uplifting words.

I don’t look like those when I work out.

In a yoga class recently I took a good look at myself in the mirror. It was difficult to accept what I saw. I think I’ve seen myself with some sort of mental filter in my mirrors at home. The mirror at the gym has no filters, real or imagined. It is unforgiving. I did not like what I saw, but I did not let the figure in the mirror get me down:

  • I was at the gym doing yoga!
  • I even went without a friend, on my own!
  • I have grossly cut back on the amount of crap junk food and snacks I was eating!
  • I have been intentionally adding more fruits & vegetables to my diet!

These changes to my behavior and working on improving my good habits have resulted in this

2013-12-20 weigh in

This is SEVEN POUNDS down from September. I’m trying to make a big deal out of it because I’m not really feeling accomplished. I’m still measuring myself against where I was before I started slipping back into nasty old habits (in case you’re wondering, I have four whole pounds more to lose to get to my lowest since starting this blog). It feels like I wasted so much time by gaining that weight back. I don’t want to waste time again.

Which is why I’m sticking to my anti-treat goals and set some specific exercise goals (2 spin classes, 1 yoga class and at least one additional workout each week).

Not wanting to waste my time losing the same lbs again is good motivation to work hard. Really wanting to get below my lowest weight (since starting scale matters) is an even bigger motivator. The desire to be too small for my smallest pair of jeans, to fit back into a favorite skirt from years gone by, to comfortably spend an afternoon on my feet, to  hike/swim/bike at pace with my family, those desires are all reasons I can look into those harsh gym mirrors and see this…

2013-12 spin selfiewithout crying and running from the gym. (This was an emotionally difficult selfie to share. I hope you appreciate my courage!)

Sometimes I wonder what goes through the instructor’s head or the other people’s heads when they see me in a spin class. Those classes are intense. I get pretty beet red and watching all that fat jiggle when I’m giving it my all…it doesn’t look anything like those sexy, inspiring memes. When I start to worry that people are mocking me in my head, I remind myself that I’m not at the gym to be their eye candy (ha!) or flirt (happily married for 18 years) nor does it matter what anyone else interprets from my working out.

I am there for me.

Going to spin class means afterward I don’t seem to crave sweets as much. When yoga class is over my stress has decreased and I can relax more easily. Every day that I workout makes me less anxious stepping on the scale for my weekly weigh in. Every week that I lose weight makes it easier to accept my results, reinforces those healthy habits, and brings me a little closer to seeing the me I expect when I look in the mirror… even the mean & nasty gym mirror.

5 days until Christmas and I’m planning to stick to my goals even during these holidays. (If Santa brings me a pair of spin shoes that clip into the pedals, it would be even more fun to stick to my goals!)

 

Wish me luck!

…and may your holidays be merry!

 

 

 

Peer Pressure

I know I’ve been a bad blogger lately but that’s only because I have been bad in general.

I haven’t stepped on the scale in a month. I can see my body expanding, too, and I’m not liking how some of my clothes fit lately.

What derailed the Super Motivated ABC?  Without too much detail I will just say I am a woman over 40 whose feminine  features have started a rebellion. Of course, the doctors always seem to point out that being overweight makes the problem even worse.

Thanks.

I retreated into my shell. Being physically miserable should have been a motivator to try to lose weight, to give myself some relief, but no. I, of course, took the other path. The I’m-already-uncomfortable-and-unhappy-What’s-the-difference path.

Alas, relief to the rebellion is in sight and I’ve started feeling better in the last few weeks. I’ve thought about working out again. I even bought good stuff for green smoothies. I made it to Mandy’s Friday workout last week but only barely and I totally didn’t mean it. I came home and ate a croissant.

Then last night my friend’s ganged up on me.

“Come on! Spin class at 5:45! It will be fun!”

5:45? am?! Are they nuts?

Well, yes they are, but in a good way. So I gave in to peer pressure, set my alarm for 5:20 am (named it “I hate Tami”), and was out the door before my husband even sat up in bed.

It’s 9:20 am now. I’ve worked out, fed my kids breakfast, packed their lunches, put dinner in the crock pot, made & drank an uber healthy green smoothie (filtered water, spinach, kale, greek yogurt, whey protein powder, frozen pineapples & strawberries with a 1/2 of a dash of Stevia), studied for my class today and written a blog post.

Dagnab early morning. It’s so much easier to stay up late, but maybe I am better off getting up early. I hate early. I will be back on my regularly scheduled Friday with a weigh in.

I’m terrified of weighing in. The numbers on that scale are not going to be pretty.

Wish me luck.

Therapeutic New Year

I have been anticipating a week when I will have enough time to go to the gym, to plan our family meals, and when my kids stop needing me to mediate/entertain/prepare food for them. First it was going to be in the weeks between my semester and when the kids got out of school. Then it got pushed back to being the week after Christmas…the week of New Years…when my step-dad gets out of the hospital….when my youngest graduates college and we win the lottery.

Yesterday I took matters into my own hands.

I woke up my teenage daughter, put her in charge of the early bird 6 year old, donned my workout clothes, decided the world could wait an hour for me, and went to the gym for spin class. A setback or two later and I got to class when it was half over. I worked hard and stayed an extra 10 minutes after the class was over to make up for being late. I walked out of that room, toward the front door of the gym, out into the cold sunshine and to my car feeling relief. Stress had melted away. Guilt for not going to the gym was no longer valid. I was motivated to eat better so as not to have wasted my sweat. It was totally worth neglecting my family and finding the kids had made a mess in the kitchen with their “breakfast”. Exercise therapy.

This week…this year I will not be waiting for my to do list to be checked off, for the laundry to be finished, or for my kids to not need me (that might not ever happen – I’m pretty awesome). Instead, I will put me first…at least a few times a week. Life happens. My only goal/resolution for 2013: Stop waiting for the situation to be perfect and give myself some priority.

Wish me luck!

Say it with me…

I went to spin/cycling class (I never know what to call it) by myself earlier in the week. The class seems to drag on and on when I don’t have a workout buddy there to distract me from all the sweat, pain and hard work. About halfway through the class, I hit that I-don’t-want-to-do-this-any-more wall. I started thinking about other things I could be doing instead. Then I tried justifying my way into walking out of the class. I entertained a few too many thoughts about why I didn’t need to finish class. Then I looked down at the little screen mounted on the handlebars to see if I’d hit a respectable number of miles for one workout and instead noticed how many calories I had burned (according to the bike). My next thought was this: If I leave now I’m cheating myself out of half the calories I could burn. Ok, I CAN do this!

In another cycling class where I did have a workout buddy I was struggling to keep up. I was making excuses in my head: I’m sore from the last class, I didn’t eat any breakfast, I pushed too hard at the beginning…you get the idea. Ten minutes left and I kind of gave up. I wasn’t really listening to the teacher. I was just pedaling. Then, I saw her bright smile look up at the last row, square in my face and say: We’re not done. You can do it!

She kept tabs on me for the last two songs and encouraged me (ok, the whole class, but it felt like she was just talking to me) to “dig deeper”. She was almost stern, but I agreed with her! I could do finish the class working hard. I had a little more in me. After pushing myself through the last song with renewed determination I went to the front of the class and thanked her for calling me out.

Isn’t that just human nature? We feel like we are going to crash and burn at something but if someone gives us a kind word of encouragement we can get our gusto back? I have a challenge for you. Be that person for someone, anyone. It doesn’t have to be in a workout. Pay attention to the people around you today, this week even, and praise someone’s hard work, compliment their tenacity or just smile and applaud when they need it most.

And if you are somewhere in your workout and struggling, ready to give up say this to yourself: I CAN DO THIS! Because you can. While you are saying that to yourself picture me standing there clapping my hands saying it with you: You can do this. I am sure of it.

This week I’m wishing you luck!

Abandonment Issues

I started this blog with friends, but I was the writer (I use the term loosely). I encouraged some of them to just type what they felt when they were nervous, because I was afraid to blog alone. They did their friendly duty, got excited about the new venture, and wrote their posts beautifully.

Now I’m quite comfortable sharing my thought processes, stuff you never wanted to know,  the numbers on my scale, and much more. It seems, however, that my friends have better things to do than (over)share about their fitness goals, failures and successes.

I’m totally fine with that.

No, really. I don’t feel like I’m the only person struggling this week because I gave in to sugar cravings while I was PMSing. I don’t mind that no one else seems to want to talk about how the numbers on their scale are exactly the same this week as last week. It doesn’t bother me at all that those busy friends haven’t even commented on my posts in forever lately let alone shared their own stories.

Honestly. I’m  ok.

Although…

I might feel better if I knew that someone else was struggling against their cravings for soda or if another friend (or two) was trying to get back into the groove of a new school year. Knowing that someone else also saw their reflection from a few yards away and realized she is not the shape she pictures in her head might improve my outlook, too.

But like I said…I’m fine.

This week I’ll read what Kris posts and give her another thumbs up for her awesomeness. The rest of the week I’ll avoid sugar while I try to figure out how to productively spend my time now that all my kids are in school all day. And if no one else posts about their holiday weekend and how it affected their goals I’m sure I can find something else to read. I did just borrow the Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society from a friend. When I don’t get any comments on this post I’ll just pretend I’m sweating from my eyes in spin class next week. It’s going to be a great week. Don’t you worry about me…at all.

Wish me luck…?

Why am I here?!

Have you ever been in an unhealthy relationship? When I was in college I dated a guy that I thought was The One. In our short relationship we’d even talked about how many kids we were going to have and where we would live. *sigh* Young (misguided) love. It took some years to get perspective to realize that when we had a fight and I ran to the mall to charge up my credit cards – which he hated – that it was not the best outlet for frustration and anger. I was literally paying for it years later.

Now I have an unhealthy relationship with the scale, because when it tells me I’ve gained 2 lbs in a week where I worked my tush hardcore doing 4 super sweaty workouts…then I want to go to See’s Candy, use my gift certificate for a pound of candy and E!N!J!O!Y! 

 

Well, maybe it’s more of a fairweather friend relationship, because when the scale shows I’ve lost I speak kindly to it, put it away more gently, and look forward to our next meeting. Right now I just want to throw it down the stairs. Yet, I’m reminded of that old saying “Don’t shoot the messenger!” It’s not the scale’s fault. Plus eating the pound of candy will cause me to pay and won’t really effect the scale (except when I throw it back in its spot and call it names).

So. With an attempt at humility I am willing to admit that getting exercise is not my problem.

I need to pay more attention and be more deliberate about my eating habits. Gah! It’s so hard and one of the things I HATE to do.

Even after seeing the nutritionist in May (or was it April) I still have not made a plan or checked my blood sugars or tried to be sure I was following her guidelines. I knew what she was telling me was right and good and would benefit me. It’s. Just. So. Hard. (Yes, I’m totally whining)

I think this is the point where I need some reminders about why I am doing this whole blog and getting outside my comfort zone and doing crazy things like being the fattest person in spin class. Here’s the list I came up with earlier this week. WARNING: I did not hold back. Some of these are kind of personal reasons, but I suppose if you are here reading you are not someone who gets uncomfortable with TMI. In no particular order…

  • I want to look the way I feel
  • I need to be able to keep up with/chase down my youngest child. He is 6 and quite fast
  • I want to be a good example to my teenage daughter
  • I want to feel more sexy
  • CUTER CLOTHES OPTIONS!!!
  • I want to control my diabetes and get off the meds
  • GET HEALTHY!
  • Live longer
  • If we get these same bodies in the hereafter….I really want to look good in the eternities and not kick myself everyday for getting stuck with a fat suit.
  • I don’t want to be self-conscious and/or wonder what others are thinking when they see me, especially next to my husband who is in good shape…and looks like he’s 27 (but that’s another problem all together)
  • Be comfortable on amusement park rides
  • Live the Word of Wisdom strictly (it’s a Mormon thing. click the link for a better understanding)

I think that is a good list for now. I’m sure my list will evolve throughout this journey. I hate using that word “journey” because it is so overused lately. But I’m not sure what else to call this attempt at reaching my long-term goal while sharing my experiences in writing. If you have a better word…share.

This week, unlike the girl from Oklahoma, I want to be the girl who CAN say “No” (or even “No, thank you”).  I also need to dig out my paperwork from my visit with the nutritionist. Her advice and guidelines will help me balance my glucose levels and get back on the losing weight track! Well, her advice and continuing to go to spin class.

Wish me luck!

 

I smell bad…and I earned it

I know I didn’t show up/post on Friday, but i was thinking about it. I’ve started my list of why I am motivated to lose this weight. I’ll share it later this week. BTW-since my bloggy friends seem to have jumped ship lately I am going to try to post something everyday this week.

I went to my second spin class this morning. I managed to be on the bike for the whole time, too! Walking out of that class I noticed that even the most fit people were dripping sweat. My little rag had no dry spots left on it and in the middle of the workout I looked at my hands and thought, “I didn’t know the back of my hands COULD sweat.” Seriously good workout.

Then I went to 3 different grocery stores in my quest for the best deals. It wasn’t until I got home that I realized I smell bad. So if you stood behind me in a line or too close to me in the produce section today…SORRY!

Well… I’m not sorry that I smell bad. The workout was totally worth it. But I am sorry if my stench invaded your dance space.

Hope you are as excited as I am to get back to the task at hand (losing weight…or reading about me doing it…). Time to shake off the lazy summer and get to work!

Wish me luck!

I smell like campfire and look like an alien

This afternoon I came home from five days of camping with the junior high & high school age girls from my church…178 of them. We call it “Girls Camp”. I’ve been privileged enough to be on the committee which organizes and runs it in my local area for the last four years. It might be my favorite week of the year. Today might also be the most tired I’ve been all year, too.

 

A few years ago when we were camping we started calling Red Vines “breakfast”. I don’t know about your camping trips, but ours usually include lots of Red Vines and a variety of candy and junk that’s easy to pop in your mouth. Calories on vacation don’t count, right?

 

 

Wrong.

 

I decided before I went to camp that I was going to avoid all the candy. I am doing that in my regular everyday life, so I should do that at camp! It was much easier than I expected. We had an amazing volunteer organize the food, so I never felt like I was left unsatisfied. Up until last night (when the tired started to sink in) I had no problem ignoring the candy or walking away if I felt like I couldn’t.

 

I had willpower!

 

 

Then last night I gave in to a handful (or three) of peanut M&Ms and some Red Vines. They were not nearly as good as I had expected. I actually had to go find something to get the waxy licorice taste out of my mouth.

 

How weird is that? How wonderful is that?!

 

Now I’m sitting here with a green mask on my face before I shower to get all the yuck out of my pores and trying not to fall asleep. I won’t weigh in until this Friday. Several friends want to work out together this week, so I’m going to try Zumba and a spin class (Heaven help me). But for now I’m going to wash the alien off my face and the smokey scent out of my hair then spend some quality time with my mattress.

 

Wish me luck.

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