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So, I am now over halfway through my phase 1 of the south beach diet. And I just got back from my second workout at Curves. I’ll give you my review on each.

South Beach Diet Phase 1

“What can you eat?” was my biggest question. I’ll tell you it isn’t as hard as I thought to find things to eat. I’ve only had two salads in these 14 days. Breakfasts have included turkey sausages and eggs mostly. Lunches are the hardest in my opinion. Especially if you don’t have leftovers from the dinner the night before. This is where I have had salads, peanut butter and celery and leftovers. Dinners have been widely varied. We’ve had pot roast without potatoes, chicken teriyaki without rice, chicken chili, (we’ve used that to make a few taco salads), stuffed mushrooms, frittatas, steak fajitas without the tortillas, salmon with veggies, turkey breast with green beans, roasted chicken with carrots and broccoli, and spaghetti made with spaghetti squash instead of noodles.  Snacks are mostly hard-boiled eggs and sugar-free jello with cottage cheese. Occasionally at the beginning a baby spoon full of peanut butter. Oh and the best treat of all chocolate Shakes!!!

Recipe: (makes 1 serving)

1 cup almond milk

1 1/2 T peanut butter

2 t of stevia

1 t of non sweetened baking cocoa

1 cup ice

Curves review

I am not on the regular curves program. I was really sad to find that out. Their key cards have a program that tells you how long to do each machine and if you are going hard enough and what muscles are weak and need more attention. Darn it. So the curves that I can do is a circuit training. It’s a large room with a bunch of machines and mats in a circle. You just jump in and then the music is timed to tell you when to switch. The machines are on hydraulics so the harder and faster you push the more resistance you get.  The mats are just there for whatever cardio you want to do, most people jog in place. I try to high knees, butt kicks, jump rope or punches so that I’m not extremely board during mat times and I don’t feel like my ankles are going to break apart.  I am going to have to be my own motivation though. I can see slacking off while going around, in fact I watch other women chat and slack off while doing their circuit.

With no further ado I give you my mii’s wiifit progress…


Avoidance not Abandonment

First things first, I know it’s not my day, but I’m sure that Kris will understand!
So this morning I was getting ready for church and my hubs says, “have you read AB’s post this week?” *Guilt jab #1 as I sheepishly reply, “No” and then wonder why my hubs is reading what I should be!
So I read your post AB and let me tell you… I have been avoiding this blog like the plague. Let me try and explain.
On June 29 the hubs and I decided to take our fertility issue a step further and did a procedure that would only increase our chances of getting pregnant by a mere 20%. So, I didn’t really tell many people about it. Honestly, I thought it was just kinda fun knowing they were trying to make the timing of the struggle we were having work. I kept telling myself not to get excited because let’s be real.. it’s been 5 1/2 years. So we go and do the procedure and then I have to wait 2 full weeks to find anything out. During this time I limited myself to only certain websites because I know myself. I would only allow myself to go on google or bing if it was a true reason– not just to check what dim whit could tell me early pregnancy signs or that IUI was not effective treatment for someone with PCOS and Endometriosis. I needed to get out of my own head and be completely oblivious to the internet. A few days before I was allowed to test I was at work and got a funky pain. I thought it was cramps and went to reach for some meds and something popped in my head not to take them in case I was pregnant. So I didn’t.

Now, I own stock in pregnancy tests so the morning I was allowed to test I woke up at 3 am and let my dogs out to go potty and decided to go myself. Now, my thoughts this entire time were it was 3 and I had 3 1/2 full hours to mope and be sad all by myself when the test came back negative. But it didn’t. It came back with 2 pink lines. I couldn’t believe my eyes! I didn’t want to tell anyone because I was nervous. I got labs done and the rest is a dream that I still pinch myself to make sure I’m living.

Fast forward 11 weeks and 5 days… Friday I heard the most beautiful sound of my baby’s little heart beat on the doppler. Amazing. I’m feeling great, but have gained almost 12 lbs. I’m trying really hard not to let that number bother me. When you’ve spent the last 3 years obsessing about making that number go down seeing it slowly rise is…so discouraging. I know I’m not eating how  should {protein and I are not friends right now. However, sugar and  I have a love affair going on!} and I sleep more than I thought was humanly possible. I can’t tell you the last time I did formal exercise. I’m slacking big time. And I didn’t want to share because I felt Guilty. I thought I was letting my blog friends down.

At my Dr appointment on Friday I talked to my Dr about my weight gain {because I am considered high risk I’ve already had about 3 ultrasounds so my dr is more than aware of my weight, I’m sure}. He didn’t give the typical dr answer. He really talked to me. He told me when you have such horrible morning all day sickness it’s very common to crave sweets {he also indicated this could determine the sex of my baby, but we won’t call that doctrine!}. He told me to stop stressing and start enjoying. He reminded me this was something I had prayed, hoped, wished, and dreamed of for the past 5 years. Just enjoy. Now, he did caution me to try and not go overboard and to get enough fiber and protein.

AB, you are not alone. We all struggle. We all feel abandoned and we all abandon at some point in time. Thank you for starting this blog and getting so many of us excited about getting back to that number that isn’t embarrassing {or the number that I put on my drivers license but have never weighed as an adult}. I love reading your thoughts and struggles. Love you!!

So, my sweet blogging friends, that is why I went MIA. I’m having a baby. And getting fat. And trying to just soak it all in. I do have to say my baby bump is darling… though I know it’s more bloat that baby, I still love it. I love knowing that in March I’ll be holding a little one in my arms. My children are so excited and so is my hubs. I’m going to try and update as much as possible. But I would love ANY tips on how you all made it through pregnancies without eating See’s Candy out of business!





If you want to follow my pregnancy journey you can read more at


Abandonment Issues

I started this blog with friends, but I was the writer (I use the term loosely). I encouraged some of them to just type what they felt when they were nervous, because I was afraid to blog alone. They did their friendly duty, got excited about the new venture, and wrote their posts beautifully.

Now I’m quite comfortable sharing my thought processes, stuff you never wanted to know,  the numbers on my scale, and much more. It seems, however, that my friends have better things to do than (over)share about their fitness goals, failures and successes.

I’m totally fine with that.

No, really. I don’t feel like I’m the only person struggling this week because I gave in to sugar cravings while I was PMSing. I don’t mind that no one else seems to want to talk about how the numbers on their scale are exactly the same this week as last week. It doesn’t bother me at all that those busy friends haven’t even commented on my posts in forever lately let alone shared their own stories.

Honestly. I’m  ok.


I might feel better if I knew that someone else was struggling against their cravings for soda or if another friend (or two) was trying to get back into the groove of a new school year. Knowing that someone else also saw their reflection from a few yards away and realized she is not the shape she pictures in her head might improve my outlook, too.

But like I said…I’m fine.

This week I’ll read what Kris posts and give her another thumbs up for her awesomeness. The rest of the week I’ll avoid sugar while I try to figure out how to productively spend my time now that all my kids are in school all day. And if no one else posts about their holiday weekend and how it affected their goals I’m sure I can find something else to read. I did just borrow the Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society from a friend. When I don’t get any comments on this post I’ll just pretend I’m sweating from my eyes in spin class next week. It’s going to be a great week. Don’t you worry about me…at all.

Wish me luck…?

“Healthy” is Not a Bad Word

My mid-week decision to stop eating sugar seems to have made all the difference. I did pretty well this week! The day after my no sugar decision I came home from grocery shopping with some of my favorite healthy eats…

Being prepared with healthy foods I enjoy makes a big difference. The past few days I have also done well at not making exceptions to my no sugar rule, exceptions like “…but I’m at Disneyland” or “…it’s late and I haven’t eaten yet” or “…but I organized this ice cream social” or “…hey look, there’s a delicious cookie within reach”. The other thing that helped was my friend, Heather. She volunteered to keep me accountable and I’ve been reporting in to her (and she to me for that matter). Knowing that someone is paying attention to my sugar intakes ensures that I pay more attention to what I’m eating.

I ate better this week and did good at skipping treats, but my workouts…not so great. For several reasons I didn’t get to a spin/cycling class and I haven’t gone to Mandy’s Friday workout in too long. I went ten days between my last 2 workouts. Yesterday at Mandy’s class was so much more difficult than usual…and I think she may have been going easy on us! I was prepared to step on the scale (a day late) and be disappointed again because of my lack of exercise these past 2 weeks. Instead I was pleased….

I lost FOUR POUNDS this week!!!

The morale of my story this week is: It matters what you eat! Sometimes I think we (well, I) pretend that as long as I/we exercise then we’re doing fine. My month or so of gaining weight shows that is not the case. It’s the basic principle of calories in versus calories out. Simple as that. Miserable as that.

My semester starts on Monday and my boys go back to school, too. I’m already trying to plan out my workouts and packing lunches. Stupid planning. Losing weight is so much more work than gaining weight, but I suppose if it was easy there’d be a lot less fat people. I’m working on decreasing the number of fat people by one.

Wish me luck!

Love it, Hate it, Can I Live Without it?

I’m 41, married, a mother to three kids and I live in my own mom’s house. It didn’t happen on purpose and we’ve been here years (YEARS). Some days I have hope (or faith or both) that we’ll get our own home and others I feel stuck. Today is a stuck day. Don’t get me wrong. There are some great things about being here. This is not one of them…

She (Mom) came home from a weekend away for a family funeral and this is what was on the counter when I woke up. She cannot throw food away. It might be a physical impossibility for her. She loves treats, too, and no matter how often I ask her not to bring things like this home….she ignores me and does it anyway.

Oh my mother. How I love her. How she drives me crazy.

This isn’t a blog post to complain about my mother. It’s about all the dang sugar! I have given in to the sugar too much lately. I need a clean slate. I feel totally addicted. I choose easy, grabable (it’s a word), food filled with refined sugar to snack on, to replace an actual lunch, to fill me when I’m tired….need I go on?

I’m diabetic for crying out loud! Iwasn’t even eating candy a few months ago and now I don’t seem to know how to eat without it being something sweet. After seeing the many treats this morning I decided I need to go on a sugar fast. I don’t know for how long. I’m afraid to put a number on it and discourage myself so much that I give up before I start. So I’m doing it for today. Tomorrow is another day. I pray for the courage to stick to it tomorrow.

Wish me luck.

Dear world

Dear world,

Why did we invent sugar?

Why did we fill drinks full with it and call it soda? Why must it be the only alternative to water and alcohol at restaurants? Why do restaurants add it to their juice?

Why did we add it to fat and smear over bread already stuffed with it? Why do we demand everyone eat it at everyone’s birthday? Why must candy be included in every holiday that we have?

Why have we tried to make substitutes without the calories but still with all the glycemic index and with bonus possible cancer, birth defects or in my case immediate severe headache?

Why, if sugar is fine in moderation, do I have to work so hard to keep it from my diet? Why have we let sugar come into everything we eat? Every meal has a standard sugar something, from syrup to ketchup. I didn’t really need my crackers to have sugar as well. And you aren’t fooling anyone with those fancy words you use in place of sugar. High fructose corn syrup, Sucralose, aspartame, stevia. I could go on. But they all make things taste sweet. Why do we need spaghetti sauce to taste sweet?

Have we become that hedonistic that we can’t leave sugar out of things that didn’t use to contain it? Does it really make things taste THAT good?

Not that you, world, are totally to blame. I know how much I like sugar. I crave it. I’m weak. It is delicious. You were just trying to give me more of what I like. Others are just like me and yet a select few have found how to indeed have it in moderation. I applaud you. I envy you. It wasn’t easy for you. I know.

Thank you for your time.

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