suck suckity sucks

Today’s post title is a direct quote from something my 6 year old son said earlier this week. Today’s weigh in totally sucks…big time. I was expecting to see SOME loss! I went a whole week of camping where I was on my feet most of the day and not eating candy (or doing any snacking). Then I came home and had four workouts this week (and I’m not counting the whole day of walking around California Adventure)! I tried a spin class (difficult but a great workout). I went to a Zumba class (fun, fun, sweaty fun). I did not eat junk. I have been so dagnab good it is disgusting. Yet, here I sit teetering back toward 230 pounds. If I thought it would do any good I would scream.

If I didn’t want to get out of this fat body so bad I would take it as a sign and give in. WHY TRY?! But here I go starting a week of vacation: beach camping (wooohoooo). I’m staying away from the candy. I’ll be taking the dog on long walks (with Rae who will be walking her 3). I will play in the waves. Since I will be on the beach next week I doubt you’ll see my weigh in. Maybe that’s a good thing. This hard work without the loss in weight is killing me!!!!

Wish me luck. Apparently, I need it.

Where you see smoke…..

There’s fire. It is a hazy, smoky, hot mess around here. Doing things outside is not pleasant. My car read 113 driving in town and I just have a headache from the smoke. I had hoped to switch to the distance 5k training program rather than the timed one I had been doing. That’s out right now.

It has been a crazy week. Hubby finally went to day shift this week. It has been a harder transition than I imagined. It is weird having him here and awake. On night shift he was gone from 530p-7a and then slept most of the day. It’s taking some getting use to.

We also got this…

It has been like adding another child. It has kept me busy and with 2 walks a day most days, it just adds to my exercise. She doesn’t walk far yet. Just to the end of the street and back and it isn’t very fast with her little legs but hey it’s 4/10 of a mile twice a day. Every little bit helps right? I know it’s a stretch.

I was ready to get back into a gym routine on Monday, but hubs said he would go with me if I went later. With our vacation the little kids are not taking classes this month which was my excuse to be at the gym at a certain time on certain days, so I told him I’d wait. Before coming home I decided to get my weigh in done since we were there. This was a moment of insanity since we all know you do not weigh yourself after breakfast time and if you can help it without clothes. It was after 1pm! I wanted to get it over with and see what the damage was from the southern fried comfort food. How many calories are in crawfish etoufee?!?

I was not ready for the number. Are you ready? Can you guess? Here we go 228.2! That’s right! A loss of 2.2lbs! “I can see clearly now, 230s gone!” You know you just sang that in your head. LOL

I saw this quote and thought it was appropriate since I keep talking myself out of signing up for a mud run 5k obstacle course race in August. I know just do it!

If you’re trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I’ve had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
~ Michael Jordan ~

 

 

I smell like campfire and look like an alien

This afternoon I came home from five days of camping with the junior high & high school age girls from my church…178 of them. We call it “Girls Camp”. I’ve been privileged enough to be on the committee which organizes and runs it in my local area for the last four years. It might be my favorite week of the year. Today might also be the most tired I’ve been all year, too.

 

A few years ago when we were camping we started calling Red Vines “breakfast”. I don’t know about your camping trips, but ours usually include lots of Red Vines and a variety of candy and junk that’s easy to pop in your mouth. Calories on vacation don’t count, right?

 

 

Wrong.

 

I decided before I went to camp that I was going to avoid all the candy. I am doing that in my regular everyday life, so I should do that at camp! It was much easier than I expected. We had an amazing volunteer organize the food, so I never felt like I was left unsatisfied. Up until last night (when the tired started to sink in) I had no problem ignoring the candy or walking away if I felt like I couldn’t.

 

I had willpower!

 

 

Then last night I gave in to a handful (or three) of peanut M&Ms and some Red Vines. They were not nearly as good as I had expected. I actually had to go find something to get the waxy licorice taste out of my mouth.

 

How weird is that? How wonderful is that?!

 

Now I’m sitting here with a green mask on my face before I shower to get all the yuck out of my pores and trying not to fall asleep. I won’t weigh in until this Friday. Several friends want to work out together this week, so I’m going to try Zumba and a spin class (Heaven help me). But for now I’m going to wash the alien off my face and the smokey scent out of my hair then spend some quality time with my mattress.

 

Wish me luck.

Happy Father’s Day!

Just a quick note since I am celebrating the day with the greatest dad I know, My husband!!

The last leg of our trip did not get better except that we got to see some family. The rain followed us every where we went. Downpour, lost power rain. The only place we didn’t bring it is to Colorado which is in a drought and dealing with fires. My son still had vomiting episodes for 5 days. We got to the point where my husband and I were looking at just dropping of the rental car and flying home. I was so done, at 1 am I got up and loaded up the family and headed out at 2 and drove the 12 hours home.

I was happy to see that when I weighed in on my home scale I had only gained 1/2lb.

I am sure that I will have to start at square one at the gym tomorrow, but I am ready. I actually missed it.

I have been pondering a Big Dog Brag Mud Run (tough mudder kind of race). I know what you will say Miss AB, but I am still nervous about doing it.

Hope you all are doing well with your goals!!

Autumn? Who is She?

I know, I’ve been MIA. Between the hubs going back to work, the hubs getting laid off a week later, and all the other fun things in between, I’ve kinda let the blog slide to the side. Sorry, friends, family, and loved ones.

So, here’s what I’ve learned the last few weeks. I’m REALLY good at stress eating. Like, if it were an Olympic sport I’d take home the gold! Also, the week of my “womanly time” I should not be allowed in the grocery store. I may have purchased a bag of snacks today that have enough calories to last me the week. Naughty, naughty. But, after eating some of the chips, Twizzlers, cookies, and peanut butter m&ms I realized that I really don’t want to gain back the 9lbs I’ve lost in the past 2 weeks. So, I stopped. And then had a chocolate dipped ice cream cone at McDonald’s tonight {when did they start serving that?! It’s like they want me to be fat! lol}. On the for real, tomorrow will be better. It was one bad day I’m not going to get on myself. I just needed to come clean. So clean is what I am!

And I promise, next time, I’ll talk more about all the salads I’ve been eating and how I’ve actually cooked at home EVERY night this week! HUGE for me! So much better on the belly and bank account, too!

xoxo,

Autumn

Rain, Rain go away!!!

I know it is Saturday and I am supposed to post on Sunday, but this is my refuge rather than turning to food. So please indulge me while I vent.

The Florida leg of our journey was meant to be “our” time. A chance to decompress, relax and spend time as a family before our teens are grown. It wasn’t a good sign when driving down we hit storms with rain so thick we could only see 10 feet in front of the car. It has rained every day. The locals keep telling us how it hasn’t rained like this “in years and years.” We did brave the beach twice during the few breaks, but it never lasted long. All our plans went out the window. Universal studios- no one wants to be hit by lightning on a roller coaster. Our chartered boat to go sea fishing cancelled 1 hour before we would have left the dock. We tried to salvage things. Hubs took the teens to Disney Quest-an indoor 5 story virtual reality arcade for a day while I stayed with our toddlers. Our 4 yr old hadn’t been feeling well. Today is our last day and we made plans to go on a boat ride with the aquarium where they drop nets and pull up sea life to see, touch and learn about and then the beach. The sun was actually shining. Our little guys sickness had progressed to not keeping water down though. Making it 2 1/2 days since he had eaten and you could just see the dehydration. He also seemed to be running a fever. After a trip to the pharmacy who sent us to a clinic who wouldn’t see us because of our out-of-state insurance, we ended up in the ER of the hospital the patients in the waiting room of the clinic recommended. You know your kid is sick when they do not have to hold down a 4-year-old when they start an IV. His white blood cell count came back high enough to worry the doctor into putting him on IV antibiotics and send us home on some. After filling prescriptions we didn’t get back to our rental house until 4. Another day shot.

As we started to pack things, I thought I should see what was happening in the rest of the world and check our route home. Flooding. Record. Breaking. Rainfall. 20+ inches in areas with more tomorrow. Our next hotel reservation/stop is in the heart of the flooding. Do you have any idea what driving in those kind of conditions adds to your time on the road. They cancelled all flights out of the panhandle today due to rain.

We are sitting here looking at alternate routes that will try to keep us drier (the south is just all wet right now) and won’t require us to wear life preservers.

Morale is low for me and hubs and I just want to eat something. I keep pecking at things as I walk by the kitchen. So I am blogging to keep my hands busy.

During the times of light drizzle I have gotten into the pool and done laps. What’s a little rain when you are already wet? I have eaten more than I would have liked. With 5 more travel days, I hope I can redeem myself and not be too afraid of the scale when I get home.

Wish me luck. Prayers are always appreciated:/

Honest AB

I gained half a pound.

I was feeling so confident! I got 3 and a half workouts in. I felt like I looked better in my clothes. I pulled out a pair of pants from the dark recesses of the closet and remembered why I liked them before I had banished them for being tight. However, the outcome of my weigh-in was NOT what I anticipated.

So I thought I would measure. I hadn’t done that since February. I was sure it would show results that the scale did not. That I would be buoyed up when I saw those inches coming off.

Except I didn’t.

Instead of inches coming off I found that I had increased overall by about 3 inches since February. Talk about discouragement!!! Then I pulled classic AB out of my hat and started to justify what I was seeing, give it an outside cause, but after a few minutes I remembered my one blog rule: Be honest. I needed to begin with being honest to myself.

This past week I repeatedly justified eating unhealthy snack and treats. REPEATEDLY! Frequently this week as I was eating a cookie (or ice cream or straight up chocolate chips) I wondered what happened to the AB of last September/October. She could turn down treats. She could avoid the kitchen when she was tired. She had determination.  Where did that come from. It must still be inside me! I just need to find that AB again. I’m going to spend time this weekend looking at my earlier blog posts, reading my personal journal, and praying. Maybe by next Friday I will find the AB who can stand in a circle of friends and watch while they eat pretty cupcakes. Maybe then I can hold my head up high, because right now I’m feeling a little ashamed of myself. I don’t want to lie to anyone, especially not me. Yet I seem to continually set myself up for failure.

Well! Failure is not an option this time around. I’m confronting this nasty bad habit head on….tomorrow. Because tonight I’m falling asleep at the desk.

Wish me luck!

Oh Ver Whelmed

Lot’s to get done.  It’s almost here!  Vacation baby.  Off here and off there and when I return, I don’t even know.  I will do my best to blog while I’m gone, but it may be something similar to this…a little bit of nothing.

First up…

The letters are to family and fun along the way…or just a holder to help me map things out, but it’s the basic plan.  If we are going to run across you or near you and you’d like to meet up, message me.  We’re taking off on Saturday.  Ta Ta for now…

Southern Comfort

Traveling in  car is hard. Traveling across country in a car with children is harder. Traveling across country in a car with small children and staying with inlaws is…..well…….stressful. Mapquest stats tells us we will be in a car 68 hours when it is said and done. Detour, traffic, construction, and getting lost has added 4 hours to that already. What were we thinking?

I did not get a workout in on Thursday. It was a 12+ hour travel day. Friday I got up and went for my jog. Hhhhheeeeeelllllloooooo Arkansas. I had forgotten what the humidity is like. ( I remember I didn’t like it) But, when you are sucking wind you realize the difference in Colorado dry air. Like breathing soup here. My legs didn’t want to move. I was stiff from being in the car all day. I had to walk more than run. I choice a hilly route through the neighborhood though. Saturday- travel. A 12+ hr trip turned into 15. UGH! Sunday- we are in the Smoky Mountains. Stepping out of the cabin I had two choices. Downhill or up. I chose up. I can not give justice to the steepness. I could touch my toes at the angle I was. There was no running going to be done. I came to a fork and again chose up and repeated the choice at the next fork. I kept telling myself “A little further. It’s faster coming down so I have to keep going up to get the full time.” I tried to jog coming back, but there were only a few areas that weren’t so steep that I wasn’t afraid I would go tumbling head long down the mountain. My legs are sore and a knee is hurting. Thanks to going the wrong way at a fork, I went farther/longer than planned. Perhaps at the wedding tonight I will dance my booty off.

Food- I chose side salads at the stops during traveling. Haven’t drank nearly enough water. The hard part about staying with family is that it is harder to say no when they cook you very filling  food. I am not sure the south knows the meaning of non-breaded, non-smothered. BBQ is a way of life. I am hoping when we get to our rental in Florida and I am in charge of the meals it will be easier. The food is just sitting in me like a brick. Was it always this heavy when we lived in these parts? Salad doesn’t seem so less satisfying now.

I must go get ready for a wedding, in a barn, with a full on BBQ. I will have to walk up the mountain again tomorrow!

Happy Birthday to my inspiration and blogger buddy AB! You are an amazing woman!!

“But you’re here now!”

I was lying in bed this beautiful Saturday morning and thinking about how I don’t have an exam to study for, homework to think about or a presentation to work on and I suddenly realized I did have an assignment due yesterday: my blog post! I guess I was reveling in the lack of expectations yesterday and completely neglected my promise to blog. So here I am a day late…this feels familiar.

Thursday was my last exam. It is so satisfying to look at all the things crossed off of my list (below) that I haven’t erased it yet to make room for summer plans.

my little magnet reads: You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool mom.

Summer, for me, is when I tend to make those New Year’s Resolutions. You know, the  unrealistic list of goals I want to accomplish. I feel like I will have SO MUCH MORE TIME and then crash and burn as I put them off for later or find other worthy causes where I spend my time. My goal for this summer is to be more realistic about my time and think short term.

This week is my birthday. Wednesday I will be forty-one. (Why hide it?) Just celebrated that same # with Rae last week (Yes, I’m totally outing you, my friend). She looks good, doesn’t she?

Rae, Rae’s “little” girl, AB

I will not use my birthday or “celebrating” as a reason to eat unhealthy. That is a big and difficult goal. I’m really good at justifying (I’ve had a See’s gift certificate since Christmas that I have not used because I am afraid I’ll “justify” my way into eating the entire pound in a relatively short period of time). This goal is my birthday gift to myself.

My daughter and I are finished with our school year, but my two sons will be in school this whole week. Another gift! While they are at school I will get my exercise in each day. Planning family meals will be a little easier this week, too, and I want to make dinner (a healthy dinner) every night.

The last two weeks of my semester was time consuming and stressful. (I’m grateful for a super understanding & helpful family). In those two weeks I gained 3 pounds. I’ve accepted it, forgiven myself and I’m moving forward. I also only got one workout in…which I lead while Mandy was running her marathon.

Yesterday was a return to my regular Friday workouts. Hooray! I hadn’t worked out with Mandy the magnificent in quite a while. During the class some of the girls were talking about how hard the Wednesday workout was and how sore their abs were. My comment was, “I’m glad I wasn’t here!”

The ever insightful and always kind Mandy responded, “But you’re here now!” I could not believe how much of a threat it sounded like coming from my perpetually sweet and effervescent friend!

Well, Mandy, my abs and shoulders heard you. And I thank you for never taking it easy on me. I am here now and ready to make weight loss a priority this summer!

Wish me luck!