Well, that wasn’t so bad.

224.8 lbs.

I expected worse. Way worse!

Why can’t my weight be like my cell phone, keys, or my son’s soccer cleats the morning of a game? Easy to lose, hard to find/gain!

Inspired by AB I started looking back and trying to find when I was this weight. I had to really go back, a long way back, and yet gaining it didn’t even take half the time. A Quarter of the time! What’s up with that?! It drives me a little crazy to see these little reports about how much a celebrity struggled to put on weight for a role. Brownies and cheeseburgers every day, you poor thing. I’m pretty sure if they are complaining about gaining weight, they aren’t doing it right! It is awesome to eat whatever you want. “Would you like mayo and extra cheese with that? Ummm, of course!” “Throw some chili fries in with that!” Have you ever had a slopper? What? No?! It must be a southern Colorado thing. Take an open faced hamburger, throw a heap of fries on top, smother in green chile, and blanket with cheese. “What do you mean that isn’t on the diet? It’s got protein, dairy, a little bit of carbs. Ok a lot o-carbs! Make the chile really hot and your body will sweat the calories out, right?”

Eating healthy is boring and so much work. Why does it have to be so much work? Shouldn’t the math skills we learned in high school and wondered when we would ever use Algebra, be used to fight cancer or something? Not for figuring out if I have 207 calories left to eat today and 1 cookie is x amount of calories, do I get to dunk them in milk while speeding to point B at 56 mph while driving toward me is the Ice Cream truck  travelling at a similar rate of speed but leaving 15 minutes later, what color is the number 7?

Can you tell I am having a rough food day? Maybe if celery tasted like vanilla I wouldn’t be frustrated.

I did get moving this past week……………………………once!

Yep, 1 stinking day for a workout. Pathetic I know! Big Sigh! Deep breath! Refocus! All hope is not lost! Once is better than none! This week we just shoot for doubling that. Small steps to get to bigger steps. I am too prone to frustration right now for not getting a workout in every day or eating well daily. Small goals, small accomplishments to build on and get the motivation going again.

I Hope!

Until next week weight warriors…..

2 steps back

 

 

I had to weigh in at the doctor’s office yesterday, so I was more prepared to step on the scale today. Is it weird that my home scale and the one at the doctor’s office said the exact same weight?

 

I wasn’t surprised by the weight. Like I said in Wednesday’s post…I haven’t been doing what I should. However, I was surprised that this is my highest weigh in since September 2011 …right after I began. I am so glad I’ve been keeping track and I have pictures to remind me of the amazing progress I’ve made. There is no reason to let my weight creep up any further. I’ve lost it before and I don’t want to keep losing it…I’d like to get rid of this weight and then live in maintanance mode forever.

Losing the same 15 pounds repeatedly seems counterproductive, doesn’t it?!

My bad behavior not only showed in my weight gain, but in my A1C (an average of my blood sugar level for the last 3 months). Doc called today to discuss increasing my meds. I refused. I promised him I would make an effort, that I would be better. Counteracting my bad eating habits and lack of exercise with more medicine is NOT going to get me healthy. In 3 more months I have to go back in for another A1C. My goal is to have it be below 7.0 which, I think, is completely doable.

Wish me luck!

The evil truth

What’s this? Another post from me?! Earlier in the morning instead of late at night on my blogging day?! I know, it’s like a world record or something!

So, after I read Kris’ blog on Monday morning, and cried my eyes out, I realized that I like this blog and the purpose that we all started it. The past few weeks have been rough. I’ve been dealing not so well with postpartum depression. As a person who has AWFUL problems with body image already, this whole gaining a ton of weight didn’t help with any emotions I was having. I don’t fit right into any of my clothes. It’s depressing. I cry a lot. So yesterday I had my 6 week check up and decided to talk to the dr about how I was feeling. His response? “Sounds like you’re going through some postpartum depression”. He gave me a shot of progesterone and then sent me home with some shots to have given to me. He told me that the shots work very quickly and I should feel a difference by tomorrow! I must say, I’m feeling a little less emotional today. So, here’s hoping that all will go well.

Last week after I blogged I decided that I wanted to give this an honest try. Not just because I was blogging this to anyone who reads it, but because I want to get back to myself. I want to feel good about how I look. I want to be able to wear my cute clothes. I want to be healthy. I want to be a good example for my children and not have them suffer because their mom has a sweet tooth that isn’t funny. So, I sat down, made a menu plan for a week, and went grocery shopping. I also downloaded the app MyFitness Pal on my iphone. I was thinking about what I would eat for my dessert and decided that for now my dessert is going to be fruit. I know that I could have bought sugar free pudding, or sugar free jello, but I really feel that I needed to stay away from all of it to “detox” my sweet tooth.

It hasn’t been easy and there have been times that I’ve thought just forget it. But I didn’t let myself. One night I was soooo hungry for something sweet so I had a vanilla protein shake, it totally hit the spot. My other “sweets” for the week have been strawberries, watermelon, or apples and peanut butter. I have to say, I feel great. I feel like I have more energy and I’m not so… slug-ish. I’ve also walked my kids to  school every morning this week. Before you cheer me on too loud, know that the round-trip of walking them is a mere 12 min walk, but it’s something! It’s a start!

I decided to step on the scale this morning so I can report to you how I’ve done. I have to say I was nervous that I’d been working so hard and the scale would show I gained. I told myself even if that was the case I feel good, and will continue on. So, I went to the bathroom, nursed the baby, and stripped down (I’m convinced I can only weigh after nursing)… I watched those 3 lines go across the screen as I waited for my results, and I swear it took way longer than usual. Then my number popped up… I had lost 4.6lbs!!!!!! Talk about motivating! I know that I won’t always be perfect and I know that there might be days that I want to give up. Or there might be times I don’t lose weight. That’s ok. This is a process. A friend reminded me yesterday that it took me 9 mo to get this weight on, it’s not going to be overnight that it comes off. Though that would be nice, huh?

So, that’s how my week was, friends! It feels good to report a loss! Hopefully next week I can report another one!

xoxo,

Autumn

 

 

Peer Pressure

I know I’ve been a bad blogger lately but that’s only because I have been bad in general.

I haven’t stepped on the scale in a month. I can see my body expanding, too, and I’m not liking how some of my clothes fit lately.

What derailed the Super Motivated ABC?  Without too much detail I will just say I am a woman over 40 whose feminine  features have started a rebellion. Of course, the doctors always seem to point out that being overweight makes the problem even worse.

Thanks.

I retreated into my shell. Being physically miserable should have been a motivator to try to lose weight, to give myself some relief, but no. I, of course, took the other path. The I’m-already-uncomfortable-and-unhappy-What’s-the-difference path.

Alas, relief to the rebellion is in sight and I’ve started feeling better in the last few weeks. I’ve thought about working out again. I even bought good stuff for green smoothies. I made it to Mandy’s Friday workout last week but only barely and I totally didn’t mean it. I came home and ate a croissant.

Then last night my friend’s ganged up on me.

“Come on! Spin class at 5:45! It will be fun!”

5:45? am?! Are they nuts?

Well, yes they are, but in a good way. So I gave in to peer pressure, set my alarm for 5:20 am (named it “I hate Tami”), and was out the door before my husband even sat up in bed.

It’s 9:20 am now. I’ve worked out, fed my kids breakfast, packed their lunches, put dinner in the crock pot, made & drank an uber healthy green smoothie (filtered water, spinach, kale, greek yogurt, whey protein powder, frozen pineapples & strawberries with a 1/2 of a dash of Stevia), studied for my class today and written a blog post.

Dagnab early morning. It’s so much easier to stay up late, but maybe I am better off getting up early. I hate early. I will be back on my regularly scheduled Friday with a weigh in.

I’m terrified of weighing in. The numbers on that scale are not going to be pretty.

Wish me luck.

Convicted? Maybe. Denial? Perhaps. Avoiding? Absolutely!

I have started a post soooooo many times in my head on so many a Sunday and yet, nothing! I have written nothing for a while. Been accountable for nothing for far too long! I know it too. This isn’t a surprise. “Oh my! I had no idea it had been so long since I posted. Wow! How time really flies!”

WHATEVER!!

Out of sight, out of mind is more like it. Don’t have to want to  deal with it. Honestly, the fact that no one else is posting has made it easier to ignore. I guess if everyone else jumped off a bridge I would too, eventually. Not blaming any one else for my own choices, it’s just amazing how I can use others as a reason to justify it. Not right at all! Then out of the blue…a post. A post to remind me why we all are doing this. A post from a poor sleep deprived, new momma willing to talk about her weight. And after having a baby! All us mom’s know that’s when you feel the worst about your body!

We started all this to encourage, help, commiserate, cheer, cry, gripe, and push each other until we get to where we want to be with our health. It’s time I started climbing out instead of wallowing in the muddy valley of despair and pity!

I saw this recently from another blog and for a couple days it got me moving and then I stopped looking at it so I wouldn’t feel guilty. How did I allow myself to fall so far again! UGH! I’m in this circular pattern of disgusted with myself  must do something about it, good for a day, oh why bother, disgusted again. Must stop the cycle. Hopefully, this is the first step. Having to answer for what I did or didn’t do this week will maybe get that motivation going again.

Here we go……………again.

I don’t know where my weight is exactly except that it has inched up a few pounds. I think I will just start with trying to get moving again, regularly, rather than focus on the scale just yet. So that’s my plan.

Get Moving!!

Until next Sunday……………………………….

Getting Back in the Game!

ok, if you aren’t my friend on facebook {which, why aren’t we fb friends?} then I will quickly update you! March 13 my world changed forever. I had my beautiful baby girl delivered by c-section {not my choice, but something about a big headed child and a pelvis that isn’t much bigger that prevents natural birth}. Liberty Grace Lynn was born at 10:32pm weighing 7lbs 13oz and was 19 3/4″ long. She is beautiful and you can read more about her at http://www.growingthegang.com

so that’s me and all my stomach glory at 37 weeks {2 weeks before having Libby}. Incase this picture doesn’t tell you I gained nearly 60lbs with my pregnancy. yes. That’s correct, I gained a small child…and we aren’t talking this little one fighting her sleep right here. I did find out that I had an abnormal amount of amniotic fluid {they got extra towels and blankets in the OR to “catch the flood”}…not 60lbs worth, but it was a lot. So, here I am 4 weeks and 5 days after having Libby and I’m down almost 40lbs. Yes, that’s fantastic, but I know it’s not at all where I want to be. In fact, I would love to be down 40lbs. Here’s my plan of attack…

As a nursing mom I’m hungry pretty much all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. But it’s not like when I was pregnant, cause then I WANTED to eat but now I NEED to eat. It’s very odd. But my food choices are very poor. I got into a very bad habit when I was pregnant to eat whatever I wanted. I went for 6 weeks without gaining an ounce and so I thought I was doing just fine. Nope, I wasn’t. Bad choices stick. Which, reminds me of something I saw on Instagram… it was a picture of broccoli that said “Broccoli sticks to your teeth but french fries stick to your A**” funny, right?! Ok, so, better food choices are a MUST!

Now that I’m 6 days away from my 6 week check up I need to prepare myself for adding physical exercise into my routine. You’d think all this bouncing, rocking, and floor walking I do with this little one would count. But I looked on My Fitness Pal, and it totally doesn’t count.

ok, my ADD is getting the best of me and Libby is seriously fighting her sleep so… I’m going to call it a night. I needed to get this out there so I can be held accountable. I’ve truly missed blogging and being crazy obsessed with my weight—though I’m sure this cute as a button little girl will be a bigger crazy obsession! 🙂

xoxo,

Autumn