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I am still alive…

This summer has been very un-summery. We took a 3 day family trip to see some friends over Independence Day but other than that I feel like my kids (and I) are missing all the summer fun we should be having. My goal was to use my free time wisely this summer! I wanted to get many workouts in and create opportunities to do active, healthy things with my kids that might also happen to burn a few calories.

Instead, I started working part-time and I’ve been taking more care of my dad… that’s the short, simplified version. You don’t want to hear me whine.

I had a few days when I used my sparkpeople app on my phone to track calories in/calories out. Honestly, I was surprised at how many calories I had consumed when I thought I was eating healthy. It was not the motivator it should have been. Well, it was sort of. I’m trying to snack on raw veggies… or trying to want to snack on them?

I’ve discovered that the best time of day for me to workout and/or get to the gym is while my kids are still sleeping. The problem with that… I have to get myself in bed (not just in my bedroom where I could potentially start/finish/work on 10 or so projects) by 10 o’clock in order to accomplish the early waking. I want to be a morning person, really I do.

So to recap: I want to want to eat more veggies. I want to be a morning person. Life = frustratingly busy.

Alrighty. See you Friday?

Wish me luck.



that old familiar pain

Got two excellent workouts in this week and I am f e e l i n g  i t !

Also had a doc appointment this week and did not like what I saw on his scale.


I am making the time for my workouts. Letting the rest of the world live in its chaos while I push the pedals or lift some weights is doing me good…painful good. I think the pain is a reminder that I’m back. No more excuses about having no time to workout.

The pain is also a reminder to stay away from the sweets…or it should be. I am weak! Emotional and weak lately. My kids wanted to watch Marley & Me this afternoon. I protested but gave in. I held my sweet 6 year old boy while he sobbed for the death of the on-screen dog… and I envied his tears. Tears seem useles. Or maybe I’m kidding myself and bottling in the stuff I should be letting go of. Or maybe I just really like chocolate.

Hoping for some good news in the next week and to find a better way to deal with the bad/sad/frustrating/infuriating stuff that comes along.

Wish me luck.

Jane!! Get me off this crazy thing!!!!!

Do any of your kids know that quote? Youth today. So sad!

What an emotional mess it has been. The bad thing about technology is that no matter how hard you try to word something to be taken one way, someone will always think you mean it a different way. Sarcasm, joking, genuine concern or sorrow, whatever it is never quite comes across that way. Does it?

I was never a “blogger” “bloggie” “blogist” that certainly doesn’t sound right. Hmmm Anyway, didn’t read ’em, didn’t write ’em. Now it is my crack! My motivation comes from Drink, Run, Yoga and Run Fat Chick Run! I wish I was hip enough to know how to make it so you can click on those and go to their blogs. I chant “Run Fat Chick Run” in my head as I run. How can you not adore that title? LOL! I loved having  something to read each days from the ladies here. Now I am freaking out if my lone dealer (AB) is a day late with my fix! Co-dependent enough for ya? “Don’t ever leave me!!” (Said whinely, dripping in sarcasm.)

Now to the reason I have gathered you all here today. I have withheld my dose of crack to you for long enough. I am tired of waiting for some pictorial proof of my accomplishment. After 2500 pics posted I am getting annoyed and I ain’t getting any younger and more forgetful by the day. (I blame this on children and even my husband a little bit.) So I had better recall my race while I still can.

When last we saw me, I was staring out over a hill…………

Let me not gloss over this. The race was held at an off-road park and the race was built in the area that is too steep and rocky for anything but the most extreme 4×4 races. The route was very strategic in that it dropped you down into the canyon and you had to climb to get back out. Little did I know what I was getting into. I looked at races before and after and most were held in areas with mostly flat terrain, maybe some rolling hills and only some mud here and there. One mud race only had it at the very end. Most had maybe 12 obstacles. Even the Warrior Dash. Big Dog had 22 and that was after having to scrap a few at the last minute. I was lucky to be standing next to a woman who had done 5 mud runs this year alone and proceeds to tell me that this by far looks to be the hardest one. Craptastic!!

Well, here we go! Gun fires and down the hill we trotted and immediately back up only to make a sharp turn to go back down and it happens. It is steep and in trying to not go careening down the hill  uncontrollably my leg hyperextends from the hip. I felt a sharp pain that shot down my leg. I actually thought it was my knee. I had been having some knee pain leading up to the race and dosed up on Ibuprofen before the race in anticipation of it hurting. I think between that, the adrenaline and sheer determination to finish was all that kept me from realizing how bad I was hurt.

The mud started early. Before you were out over one bog there was another. More than once I was stuck, sinking and just laughing as I tried rocking back and forth trying to free a leg. What else could I do? At one the volunteer praised me for being the first to make it out with my shoe still on. It was at the 4th  obstacle that we saw the first victim have to be taken out by ATV. She just couldn’t do it. When we finished there were already 4 rescues and only one was an actual injury. We were the second wave with 1200 people who ran it. I don’t know how many total had to be taken out. Watching her get an easy ride out and seeing what I still had to endure, I will tell you I envied her a little bit.

I had thought I would have the same experience as AB’s mud run. She talked about the spectators all along the route, cheering and feeding your adrenaline. Motivating you on when you think you can’t take another step. Because of the rough terrain, there was no one except the volunteers at each obstacle and most of them just gave you a half-hearted “Good Job.” It made me glad my hubby was there after all. I was still ready to quit many a time and only kept going because what else was I going to do. I would not be rescued. I was very annoyed at the volunteers who told us we were half way there when we were sooooo not. Or the water guy who said it was all down hill from there. LIAR!!

Besides the constant up and down, the obstacles included a 40ft cargo net climb, 3 cliff climbs, two with the aid of a rope and only one of which where the rope hung low enough that you could grab it from the bottom. A 40lb cinder block that you pulled through a mud pit. Piles of tires, walls, seesaws, jumping across a mud pit on stumps of wood. All of which were so slimy with mud, plus all the mud on your shoes, made me sure I was going to break my neck. Pits that you would jump into and claw your way out of on the other slide and hope you don’t slide back down, which happened more than once.

There were areas where you would be running along a dry creek bed with sheer rock walls going up on each side and you would come to an obstacle and although they said you could go around any obstacle, there was no other way to go. One such area was the logs. Actually fallen trees they laid across the canyon and then filled the area with water for mud. This was one of two areas where I liked the volunteers. They were young (20’s) men standing on the ridge above us. There wasn’t anywhere else to watch. We hit the area the same time as another group of women. They were telling us ladies how good we looked in mud. How sexy the whole thing was, which my hubby wholly agreed with, too loudly to my embarrassment. I am sure it was aimed at the fitter ladies but it sure made me smile.

I got stuck on the suspension bridge. The slats of wood were spaced rather far apart for someone with a deficiency in the length of their legs. As we came to it hubby, 6foot 2inches hubby, thought it was no big deal to just run down the middle. Until he thought about his short wife. He would tell me later that he didn’t know how I was going to do it. In the middle the wood beams were the farthest apart and was where I ended up in the near splits trying to steady the swaying while attempting to get some forward momentum. Hubby thought I was going to fall, but some how I made it across.

The very last thing to do was climb out and cross the finish line. At least here up the smooth, solid rock they thought we deserved to have the rope the whole way. Thank you Big Dog! It sunk in a little later as I was waiting for a garden hose to try to get a majority of the mud off, and I was staring back out over the course as to what I had just done and the tears started.

I learned that I have more upper strength than I ever thought. That I truly do hate mud. That I need to remember sunscreen! Blisters, I was burned so bad. And I think I kind of like racing. Just for personal accomplishment, no record-breaking here folks!

After getting home the anguish of a torn hip flexor sunk in. I could barely move. I have had to go back to the beginning of my training programs and ease back to where I was, but it is awesome that I am doing it at a faster speed. Enough so that I am thinking 10 minute miles by the Turkey Trot! Insanity!

Hubby has already made plans for next years race. He is still not convinced of doing the Tough Mudder with me. That is on my fitness bucket list, but we’ll see.

So there you have it. Perhaps some day I will have pictures too!


“Healthy” is Not a Bad Word

My mid-week decision to stop eating sugar seems to have made all the difference. I did pretty well this week! The day after my no sugar decision I came home from grocery shopping with some of my favorite healthy eats…

Being prepared with healthy foods I enjoy makes a big difference. The past few days I have also done well at not making exceptions to my no sugar rule, exceptions like “…but I’m at Disneyland” or “…it’s late and I haven’t eaten yet” or “…but I organized this ice cream social” or “…hey look, there’s a delicious cookie within reach”. The other thing that helped was my friend, Heather. She volunteered to keep me accountable and I’ve been reporting in to her (and she to me for that matter). Knowing that someone is paying attention to my sugar intakes ensures that I pay more attention to what I’m eating.

I ate better this week and did good at skipping treats, but my workouts…not so great. For several reasons I didn’t get to a spin/cycling class and I haven’t gone to Mandy’s Friday workout in too long. I went ten days between my last 2 workouts. Yesterday at Mandy’s class was so much more difficult than usual…and I think she may have been going easy on us! I was prepared to step on the scale (a day late) and be disappointed again because of my lack of exercise these past 2 weeks. Instead I was pleased….

I lost FOUR POUNDS this week!!!

The morale of my story this week is: It matters what you eat! Sometimes I think we (well, I) pretend that as long as I/we exercise then we’re doing fine. My month or so of gaining weight shows that is not the case. It’s the basic principle of calories in versus calories out. Simple as that. Miserable as that.

My semester starts on Monday and my boys go back to school, too. I’m already trying to plan out my workouts and packing lunches. Stupid planning. Losing weight is so much more work than gaining weight, but I suppose if it was easy there’d be a lot less fat people. I’m working on decreasing the number of fat people by one.

Wish me luck!

Love it, Hate it, Can I Live Without it?

I’m 41, married, a mother to three kids and I live in my own mom’s house. It didn’t happen on purpose and we’ve been here years (YEARS). Some days I have hope (or faith or both) that we’ll get our own home and others I feel stuck. Today is a stuck day. Don’t get me wrong. There are some great things about being here. This is not one of them…

She (Mom) came home from a weekend away for a family funeral and this is what was on the counter when I woke up. She cannot throw food away. It might be a physical impossibility for her. She loves treats, too, and no matter how often I ask her not to bring things like this home….she ignores me and does it anyway.

Oh my mother. How I love her. How she drives me crazy.

This isn’t a blog post to complain about my mother. It’s about all the dang sugar! I have given in to the sugar too much lately. I need a clean slate. I feel totally addicted. I choose easy, grabable (it’s a word), food filled with refined sugar to snack on, to replace an actual lunch, to fill me when I’m tired….need I go on?

I’m diabetic for crying out loud! Iwasn’t even eating candy a few months ago and now I don’t seem to know how to eat without it being something sweet. After seeing the many treats this morning I decided I need to go on a sugar fast. I don’t know for how long. I’m afraid to put a number on it and discourage myself so much that I give up before I start. So I’m doing it for today. Tomorrow is another day. I pray for the courage to stick to it tomorrow.

Wish me luck.

Roller coaster ride.

Emotions are a crazy ride!!

So this is it. Next Sunday I will be post race.

I am glad that this is a VERY busy week for me and will not give me much time to think about what is coming on Saturday. This is a really good thing since this past week has been ridiculous!

So I left Sunday vowing to get a better attitude about this race. I started strong Monday until that night. It went something like this…

Girl has a puppy.

Puppy gets a hold of shoe.

Girl chases puppy.

Puppy zigs, girl zigs, knee zags!

Sharp, intense pain! The rest of the night spent with ice, elevation and hardly being able to walk. Seriously! Now? When I am just starting to get a good attitude about the race.

I got up Tuesday able to move, but with pain. I decided to try to walk it out. Two easy miles in the morning and two at night. Wednesday I was feeling better. Kept it a little easier  again and was feeling optimistic.

Thursday the race coordinators sent out some info and found out that it was decided to change the course (harder, little longer) and stop giving out info on the obstacles. They thought it would be so much better to step up to the starting line and have the anticipation of not knowing what lay ahead. Um NO! I am a planner. I plan out our vacations. Right down to the order we go on rides at Disney. It’s a sickness I know! I need to know what I am in for. Yes, I psyche myself out but I also try to figure out how I am going to do it. I was not digging this! Then I saw AB’s sneaky post from the night before. Such a great movie and I had totally forgotten about that scene. Sooooo needed that!  I announced to hubby when he got home from work that I knew how to get through the course….. BLINDFOLDED! I explained where my epiphany came from and he remembered the scene. It worked so well for the death crawl, it would work for me! He told me I was crazy and that I would not be blindfolded. I tried to tell him what a great test of trust in a marriage it would be and how good it could be for our relationship, but he wasn’t having it. Harrumph! Oh well!

I did feel better though. We are stronger than we think. More capable than we know!

Since I tried to take it easy this past week, I decided to do a 5k this morning. The rest of the week will be quiet from lack of time and wanting to be ready for Saturday. I chose the hilliest route I could. There is such a difference between the hills on a treadmill or elliptical and the real earthen kind. My knee was aching and I ran less than half of it. At one point I was crying. Not from pain but because my husband will be doing this race with me. I will be holding him back. The man’s legs come to my waist. Just walking with me is slow for his strides. Then there are the obstacles. I do not want to fail in front of him. He’s been taking notice lately of my efforts and telling me how proud he is. Honestly, it’s putting more pressure on me for this race. I am nowhere near as in shape as I want to be even though it is tons more than where I was. I really just want to tell him to do his thing and I will find him at the finish line. I am so afraid that he is just going to be embarrassed as I struggle on a wall, cargo net, up a hill and whatever other insanity there is. I don’t want to let him down.

I am such a mess.

When I signed up for the race I thought how great it would be if I could be below 220 for the race. It was a lofty goal for the time frame and I didn’t really think I could hit it. I just thought how nice it would be. I weighed myself three times today. Hubby thought it was because the scale was not my friend. I just couldn’t believe what it said. All three times it was the same 219.8! I am holding onto that achievement and hoping it helps propel me forward past my fears this week.

Maybe I will have some pictures to show next week of my spa day at the mud pits. LOL!

One foot in front of the other ladies (and gents), keep moving forward!

The Lone Ranger had Tonto….

Starting to feel a little lonely on here.  Calling all weight-loss warriors!!! Changing your lifestyle is so much easier with help from others. I hope this blog doesn’t fade into the sunset. It has been such a help for me. I guess I will just keep sending my thoughts out into cyberspace if for nothing else than a chronicle for me.

Colorado is usually referred to by us lucky to live here as “God’s Country.” It’s been just stressful lately. When we’re not burning to the ground, we’re killing each other in movie theaters. Coupled with PMS week and a dear friend in crisis, I had some bad meals. I have to take my own advice and remember the next meal, day, is a chance to make a better choice. I just maintained this week. I say that like it is a bad thing. It shouldn’t be. It’s better than gaining, right! I still feel crappy about not losing.

I have 13 days until my mud run. To say I am starting to freak out is an understatement! The organizers are starting to post pics of the obstacles as they are finished building them. Do you see those dots on the right side? Those are cars people!


Cargo net up a cliff face, a mud pit that is crossed on a line of tireswings, canyon traverse on ropes, the “gauntlet!” What in tarnations did I get myself into? I was a little worried when I first signed up and saw it was being held at an off-road park out in the boonies. Off-road parks are all hills otherwise they aren’t fun but add in …….

Picture     Picture     Picture

Ok the slide looks like it might be fun, but good gravy I don’t know if I can handle the other 18 obstacles. They seem to like making things with tires!

It’s not just doubts but I am in pain. As I have ramped up the workouts my knee and hip joints are killing me. Point of tears for hours later pain. I have starting taking glucosimine(sp?) to try to help. Hubby has decided to do it with me which is a mixed bag of emotions. But he said even if we walk the whole thing it will be ok. I wanted to do this to have something to show for my hard work. To be able to say “I did that!” To hopefully motivate my kids. “Hey, if my overweight mom can do THAT, I can get/be in shape too.”

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the race FB page had this posted today.

If you have been thinking about whether you can do the BIGDOG or not….Henry had some good advice!



Well played Big Dog, well played!

So let’s try this again… I have 13 days until my race! WooooooHoooooo! Can’t wait! Okay that last bit was said sarcastically but maybe in 12 days it won’t be! I hate mud! I need to change that attitude too. LOL!

Fireworks, Sunburns and Snakes…..Oh My!

Where do we begin. The 4th of July on a Wednesday completely threw off my week. I hope you all had a lovely holiday and didn’t indulge too much. I only got in 3 cardio days and 1 day with weights. I came in at 226.4 down just 0.4lbs from last week, but beggars can’t be choosers.

I am registered for the……


Big Dog Brag Mud Run on August 4th. I am really hoping I get into the first wave at 930am and avoid the hottest part of the day. I’m not sure I will be smiling like this guy, but I will be muddy!

We have lived in our house for 4 years and hubby and I were just talking a couple of weeks ago how we have not seen any snakes, ever. We live in the boonies, everyone has at least an acre and we are next to a cattle ranch. Perfect snake country. Each neighbor on either side have had encounters, but we have had none. We jinxed ourselves and it started with hubby having to extract a bull snake from the ER waiting (where he works) room. Then I took the puppy outside only to sit down next to a 6 foot bull snake. We then came home from the fireworks to find a rattler making a dinner of a bunny. I am not thrilled with snakes to put it mildly!

Thursday I decided some yard work needed to be done. I spent 3 hours mowing.  Were the weeds and grass needing a cut, yes. Did I need to go over it and over it lowering the lawnmower blade until you see bare ground and making it easy to see any creepy, crawly thing, maybe not. Was it a little obsessive to start mowing other people’s yards because I thought their slightly longer greenery was a gateway for snakes into ours, perhaps, but I am just going to call it being neighborly! It’s more than 3 days later and I still have a lovely crimson color. Yes, I put on sunscreen. For some reason sunscreen has never worked for me, from when I was young. I have tried different brands and SPF’s, but more than 1/2 an hour in the sun and I am doomed.

It was a lovely day today to run outside. I better get used to it before the 4th! It was nice and cloudy and in the 60’s. I didn’t let my self-defeating thoughts talk me out of going out nice and early before church. It was pretty nice and I got in 2.46 miles before stopping. Did I run the whole time, um no, but a good, sweaty workout and a motivating way to start my week.

I have been trying to cater my workouts  toward what I will be facing in a few weeks. I know I need more upper body strength and climbing work. Now that I have registered, I know the time is going to just fly by and I will wish I had more time!

Any one else have races coming up?



“If you don’t take care of your body, where are you going to live?” ~Unknown

suck suckity sucks

Today’s post title is a direct quote from something my 6 year old son said earlier this week. Today’s weigh in totally sucks…big time. I was expecting to see SOME loss! I went a whole week of camping where I was on my feet most of the day and not eating candy (or doing any snacking). Then I came home and had four workouts this week (and I’m not counting the whole day of walking around California Adventure)! I tried a spin class (difficult but a great workout). I went to a Zumba class (fun, fun, sweaty fun). I did not eat junk. I have been so dagnab good it is disgusting. Yet, here I sit teetering back toward 230 pounds. If I thought it would do any good I would scream.

If I didn’t want to get out of this fat body so bad I would take it as a sign and give in. WHY TRY?! But here I go starting a week of vacation: beach camping (wooohoooo). I’m staying away from the candy. I’ll be taking the dog on long walks (with Rae who will be walking her 3). I will play in the waves. Since I will be on the beach next week I doubt you’ll see my weigh in. Maybe that’s a good thing. This hard work without the loss in weight is killing me!!!!

Wish me luck. Apparently, I need it.

Where you see smoke…..

There’s fire. It is a hazy, smoky, hot mess around here. Doing things outside is not pleasant. My car read 113 driving in town and I just have a headache from the smoke. I had hoped to switch to the distance 5k training program rather than the timed one I had been doing. That’s out right now.

It has been a crazy week. Hubby finally went to day shift this week. It has been a harder transition than I imagined. It is weird having him here and awake. On night shift he was gone from 530p-7a and then slept most of the day. It’s taking some getting use to.

We also got this…

It has been like adding another child. It has kept me busy and with 2 walks a day most days, it just adds to my exercise. She doesn’t walk far yet. Just to the end of the street and back and it isn’t very fast with her little legs but hey it’s 4/10 of a mile twice a day. Every little bit helps right? I know it’s a stretch.

I was ready to get back into a gym routine on Monday, but hubs said he would go with me if I went later. With our vacation the little kids are not taking classes this month which was my excuse to be at the gym at a certain time on certain days, so I told him I’d wait. Before coming home I decided to get my weigh in done since we were there. This was a moment of insanity since we all know you do not weigh yourself after breakfast time and if you can help it without clothes. It was after 1pm! I wanted to get it over with and see what the damage was from the southern fried comfort food. How many calories are in crawfish etoufee?!?

I was not ready for the number. Are you ready? Can you guess? Here we go 228.2! That’s right! A loss of 2.2lbs! “I can see clearly now, 230s gone!” You know you just sang that in your head. LOL

I saw this quote and thought it was appropriate since I keep talking myself out of signing up for a mud run 5k obstacle course race in August. I know just do it!

If you’re trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I’ve had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
~ Michael Jordan ~



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