Happy New Year!

I fell so far off the diet wagon I almost hit the ground so hard it shattered every hope in my body. While I was doing it I kept thinking about a sign I had read at Target that said “Christmas Calories Don’t Count.”  However, looking back now, I still didn’t do as bad as I used to. I figure I’m improving and that’s all that matters. I filled my plates as full as vegetables as I thought was fair to the others who I was supposed to share the bowl with. I still tried to only take a little of what I thought looked delicious. Desserts can be so hit and miss with me it’s ridiculous.  Either I want to eat the whole plate or I can pass completely and Christmas is one of those times I can pass on most all desserts. The desserts I did partake of I feel like I did good at limiting myself to a few bites.

Anyway, Christmas is almost in the past (my family went out-of-town for Christmas so I still have some left to celebrate on Sunday). You can’t change the past so I’m going to try to stop living in it. The present is all I can do anything about.  It’s a new year, a new start, full of promising changes and comforting traditions. Do you make resolutions? I have a hard time making them because it’s almost expected that you wont be able to keep them all year. Goals. I seem to make them weekly if not monthly. They are almost always similar too. I obviously don’t enjoy cleaning, cooking, waking up early or working out because these are the areas I am always trying to make goals in. So this year I think I will try to find ways to make these things more fun or at least easier for me to do.

My suggestion to you at this time of year is to not dwell on the things you need to change about your life. You are AWESOME, how can you make your life more awesome?

I feel like at this time of year I can feel so down on myself and come up with twenty million things to change about the way I live my life.  For example: I don’t do a schedule so well. I have friends that are AWESOME at having scheduled playtime with their kids and cleaning days and the like.  But being flexible is something I like about me. I need to figure out some other way to make sure everything gets done before bedtime and I can accomplish just as much as my super awesome friends, Right?

RIGHT?

Be nice to the skinny chick

When I left home a few days after my high school graduation my sister was 12. Six years can be a lifetime when we’re talking about the difference between being 12 and being 18, but even though I was away our relationship blossomed and we became friends, too. My baby sister came to live with me after her high school graduation so she could go to the college she wanted to, but I wasn’t doing her a favor. Nope, she was keeping me company while as a newlywed my husband had left with the Marine Corps for 6 months. Those months would have been unbearable without her. An added bonus was that she met and married her good husband because of our time together. Sixteen years, five kids born between us and a boob job later I still treasure that time. I’m sad she lives a couple of states away and we can’t play like we did back then.

Yeah, I said boob job. (I probably should have asked her permission first to write about this but we’re both pretty open books about our lives, so…) My sister is one of “those” chicks. You know what I’m talking about: blonde, cute (ok, she’s gorgeous), nice body, great hair, excellent sense of style, smiling… She’s the kind of chick that women who feel frumpy and fat see walking in the mall (or at the grocery store, in the park, down their street) and want to call names that rhyme with witch. As a matter of fact while my sister was here celebrating Chrismtas with us this week she made an off the cuff remark about how strangers where she lives can be really rude. I could sense her sadness even though she didn’t make a big deal.

My sister was raised in the same home as me and taught the same bad habits and learned many of the same unhealthy food attachments that I had. She just dealt with them better…and sooner than I did. She still struggles every day with some of the same things I do. She just didn’t let herself get obese like I did. In fact, recently she did this intense program that didn’t just focus on exercise but on rounding out all the areas of your life for the better. From the bits and pieces I was exposed to it sounded like a little life therapy bundled with the workouts. She is proactive in keeping herself healthy!

She knows stuff about fashion because she has studied and worked in fashion since before she graduated high school. She always looks good…even when she’s not trying to. I thank the heavens that my daughter has her to go to for advice on all things girly. I don’t have the best answers to those questions, but my sister….My sister has style. Grace and style. She is the most fun person to shop with. She is not snobby and doesn’t need to buy expensive brands to help you/her/anyone look good.

When my sister is smiling she isn’t faking anything. The only thing fake about her are her boobs…and frankly, I don’t blame her for getting them done. She looks good and more importantly, she feels good. She paid for them and made the sacrifices, why shouldn’t she?!

In many areas of my life I strive to be more like my blonde, gorgeous, fake boobed, skinny, smiling, little sister.

The next time you see one of “those” chicks instead of getting all judgey and being a witch yourself, find the thing you most like about them (or are jealous of – whatever) and ask them about it. You may be surprised about what you find inside that skinny little package. This one is doing the half marathon with me in May. (1-4-3, sis)

Wish us luck!

Looking Forward…

The last week of 2011. That seems so very strange to say, afterall so much has happened this year, it seems almost surreal that it is ending. HOWEVER, I am not sorry to see it go. 2012 will bring challenges, to be certain, and also amazing..wonderful..fantastic changes that I am more than ready for!!

So, I thought I would break down the highlights of 2011 with a “TOP 11 moments that made me go hmmm…” so here they are:

11. Moving across country from Virginia to Kansas

10. The love of my life leaving for a Deployment to Iraq

9. Getting LAP-BAND Surgery

8. My oldest starting HIGH SCHOOL, while another is starting KINDERGARTEN

7. My youngest getting rid of his binky, turning TWO and sleeping in a toddler bed. (made a Mom realize that I don’t have a “baby” any longer)

6. Watching my son put the bases on the field at a Royals game

5. My 1st experience with a Tornado siren going off, and heading to the basement.

4. The love of my life COMING HOME from deployment.

3. Reaching my 6th month post-op and having lost 90lbs!!!

2. Buying our 1st Home!!!!

1. Trying on a formal gown for my husbands Military Ball…and fitting into a size 14/16!!!

As I typed this list I realized just how much I really did this year, and a lot on my own. It really opened up my eyes to what I am truly capable of. No excuses, no whining. I CAN do this. The #1 item on my list happened last night when I went ball gown shopping with my husband. May of last year I was wearing a size 24/26 to his OCS formal. It was such an amazing feeling having the sales lady actually tell me the sizes I was trying were too big, and getting smaller dresses. WOW. I had to keep myself from crying. Looking at that girl in the mirror, I realized I was within 15lbs of where I was when I married my wonderful husband..16 years ago this Friday. That made me really feel like I had come a complete 360 from the start of this year. I am not “skinny”. I am not “obese”. I am in between and HEALTHY. I have given myself and my family the gift of years, together, because of the weight I have lost. 328 lbs is where I started 2011, and I am leaving it at 235lbs. 93lbs..GONE. Never coming back!!! As Walt Disney said..”we should Keep Moving Forward..” that is exactly what I intend to do. MOVE Forward. Afterall..there are LOTS of roads near my house I have yet to walk and explore. Happy New Years everyone. Dream big, and become those dreams!!!

An end and a beginning

I’ve been running for so many days that it felt so good to just relax and do a lot of nothing today.  Unfortunately all the moving I did earlier wasn’t exercise in the traditional form…I also did too many of those hand to mouth workouts…

One more week, right?  One more week of festive gatherings, over abundance of yummy food, and abnormal schedules.  It’s all been a pleasure…tons of fun really with another fun week planned…potluck dinner with friends, my best friend and her family are coming for a couple days – I can’t wait – and a trip to the desert for New Years!  I’m sure to be faced with a lot more food challenges.  I can’t say I’ve done wonderful.  I have done better than I have in years past. I will be glad when its time to get back to a more normal pace again.  I think it’s fine to take a break but getting back to an exercise routine as well as school routine is much needed. The sooner, the better right? So, here’s to a brand new year!  A great time to make some adjustments to things I’ve done this year…a fresh start.  In looking back over the year, I recognize thatI lost 10 lbs from last year…now that’s not a lot, but in looking at history, I didn’t gain!  That is good news!

I also recognize that without a game plan things don’t change a lot…and I’d like a bit more of a change so it’s time to ramp things up, change priorities around a bit and make some healthy changes.  This week I will be putting together an action plan and will share with you all next week!

Happy last week of 2011!  Make it great!

Best laid plans…

I just ate a cookie. It wasn’t even homemade.

This morning for breakfast I ate several sticky buns. Those were homemade…and delicious.

The sticky buns started me on a downward spiral. Maybe I should give myself a pass for Christmas, but I set a specific goal to weigh significantly less by the new year. In the crazy, busy prep for today I didn’t even weigh myself or blog on Friday. No wonder it is so hard to maintain, let alone lose weight during the holidays.

But I’m not waiting until New Year’s day to start again. I’m starting again right now.

This week is going to be tough. My regular workout is off for the next 2 weeks. We’re still partying with family for a few days. Kids and I are home and working on not driving each other crazy for at least another week. Luckily I’m going to stay with Rae for a couple of days. That should encourage some good habits…2 bloggers, both accountable to you lot, hanging out…we’d better control ourselves!!!

Other than hoping their is strength in numbers I need specific plans. Tomorrow my sis and I are going to go for a walk or a hike or just workout together. The rest of the week I need to get at least 20 minutes of exercise in each day to make up for everything I ate this weekend. And I really need to eat my vegetables!

I’ll report in for the last time this year on Friday. Until then…

Wish me luck!

Merry Christmas Wishes

Christmas is here!  As we celebrate Christmas, it wouldn’t be right not to have an account of Christ’s birth, the reason for the season. God Bless you all!!!                    Hey, put down that sugar cookie!  😉

Luke 2

The Birth of Jesus

¹ In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. ² (This was the first census that took place while^[a] Quirinius was governor of Syria.) ³ And everyone went to their own town to register.

⁴ So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. ⁵ He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. ⁶While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, ⁷ and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

⁸ And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. ⁹ An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. ¹⁰ But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. ¹¹ Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. ¹² This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

¹³ Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

¹⁴ “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

¹⁵ When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

¹⁶ So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. ¹⁷ When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, ¹⁸ and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. ¹⁹ But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.²⁰ The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

²¹ On the eighth day, when it was time to circumcise the child, he was named Jesus, the name the angel had given him before he was conceived.

Trying

Trying is a word I’ve used too much lately.  Truth is, I don’t know if what I’ve been doing is really trying.  More like not trying.  My ankle is giving me some trouble so I’m going to work in a Dr. appt with a specialist to see what might be able to be done.  I use it as an excuse too often not to do anything…say I’ll TRY again tomorrow.

I am in a funk…told you I get them here and again.  I’ve been a bit overwhelmed with events around here and have been TRYING to do it all.  I’m not doing so well at it.  I am re-examining what I can and cannot do.  It is hard to think about giving something up that you’ve done for so long but know it’s probably best…and even harder to make that idea known to your spouse who believes doing everything is possible.  And it is possible, it’s the cost that is where my questions lie.  For now, that’s where I’m going to leave this…as an idea that I will bring up with my DH and have a  heart to heart.

I’m also going to stop TRYING to eat too much candy and just call it quits for the rest of the month.  I did so much better when I just knew it was not on my list of things I could eat.  I’ve had too much junk and feel it in my sluggish attitude.

I have been focusing on how much I can and can’t eat, what I have and haven’t done.  What I’ve done wrong…not really on what I’ve done right.  I am TRYING to fix my attitude. We sang carols by candlelight the other night with a group we run.  Reading and singing the words was special – focusing on the reason we celebrate Christmas.  I plan on working harder to keep that focus with me and celebrate the birth of my Savior, Jesus Christ.  After all, without him, I am nothing.  With Him all things are possible.  Thank goodness I have the chance to try and try again because of HIM.

Christmas Blessings to you all!

MIA

Sorry I was missing in action last week. Our computer had issues with charging and then my husband took it out of town all week. But everything is well and good now.

Last week I didn’t really want to post anyway. I’ve had three weeks of .5ish pound increases to my weight and I get so frustrated. This week I’ve lost 3 pounds. It’s like taking three steps back ward and five steps forward. It’s a little backwards but I guess I’m still glad it’s going forward a bit. Come on you can’t tell me you wouldn’t be frustrated too if this was happening to you. Especially if you write for a weekly blog for weight loss and you keep putting some on and then have one week of accomplishment. I swear I don’t do anything to terribly different from one week to the next. I feel a little weird about the whole you aren’t supposed to lose more than two pounds a week. The weight watchers ap lectures me every time I put in my results and I’ve lost more than two. Apparently no one has told my body the rules.

On a more fun note, I am ADDICTED to pinterest. If you need an invite just let me now. I’d be happy to share with you. I love it because I’m a crafter and DIY cuz we don’t have tons of money and I like being able to say I made it. Anyway. It isn’t just for crafters. I’ve found some very yummy recipes, some inspiration and some cool workout things on there. I’ll share a few with you.

This workout kicks my trash. I’ll do it and then some weight lifting and then do it again if I can. Gets me three to four activity points and I like how it boosts your metabolism for so long.

Yeah that’s right. I love this. I need to think about it like this more often. Because when I’m sweating I think I’m the one closer to tears.

Quick note to my daughter

I’m heading out the door to see a movie with my husband and I’m sure I’ll be too tired when I get home to write. And I’ve decided not to post my scale pictures/weight loss until 2012….gotta keep you guessing. Here’s the inner monologue I created earlier today:

Ems,

I was waiting for you in the parking lot at the high school today and saw what must’ve been a PE class of girls jumping rope (for a while…like more than 3 minutes straight. bounce. bounce. bounce. My bladder hurt just watching). I had two simultaneous thoughts: 1 –  I wish I could jump rope so easily and 2 – I never would’ve been in a high school PE class that required me to be so active. In high school I was happy to be in the generic “intermurals” class where our football coach/PE teacher never made girls participate. Well, maybe not “never”, but he was pretty lax. I had friends in an aerobics class (it was the 80s, ok?!) who would try to talk me into switching into that class. I remember thinking they were nuts. Why would I want to sweat so much? Work so hard? I had it made in the shade!

It’s been a while (no comments from the peanut gallery) since those days, but now I know why my friends enjoyed that class. Exercise is good for you. While you are young (don’t roll your eyes at me, young lady) find exercises, activities, sports…active things that you enjoy. Find those things and integrate them into your life now. Don’t be like your mama (well, not in this way). Take advantage of the opportunities you have to learn new things that benefit you physically. Maybe I could have developed better habits. Maybe I wouldn’t be fighting this weight loss battle if I’d discovered that I enjoy exercise earlier. Do it for yourself…not just “because I said so”.

Don’t get fat, sweets. It sucks.

143 Mom

No more excuses..

Before I get completely BUSTED by AB, I thought I better get my blog out early this week. LOL. “Crazy” does not even begin to describe all of the madness of my household at the moment, so I am taking a moment for me to catch you all up.

 A couple of blogs ago, I made myself a promise that by the time my in-laws arrived (last week) that I would be in the 230’s. I was weighing 241 and it was driving me insane. Eating has not been my friend. Visitors, while a welcome distraction, do not eat the same as someone like me. So I was worried when I hopped on the scale today. Did I totally blow my goal, or be too ashamed to admit my defeat and avoid weighing altogether??? I put on my big girl panties and approached the white witch aka..my scale. LOL. I literally got on and off FOUR TIMES to make sure what I was seeing was true… 237.0!! I succeeded, even with all the temptations and excuses for poor eating. I feel as though I am a superhero of the weight loss community.

 So now the next challenge lays ahead of me. We are moving. Ummm…this weekend. The stress and drama of it can sway eating to the dark side, and I am going to fight it with all the force I possess. I am not going to promise I will exercise more, because it has been insane packing and running up and down the three floors we are moving out of. BUT, I will not make an excuse to eat bad. It isn’t worth it. I feel better than I have in years, and I don’t want to lose sight of that. I am including a recent picture, taken at the Christmas Tree lighting on December 3rd. I actually LOVE it. And that is all the motivation a girl needs sometimes =)