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Once Upon A Time…

I had this grand idea that if I became a blogger it would make losing weight fun, exciting, and practically easy. Combining something that I love (writing) with something that is hard for me (losing weight) was supposed to be a magical formula.

Wrong.

I gained weight this week.

Again.

I didn’t post Friday (when I’m “supposed” to post) because I could not have cared any less about blogging or weight loss. I sweated this week, serious work my fat off sweat…and not just because we had a few strange-for-L.A. humid days. I zumba-ed, swam, walked, and cardio/weight trained with effort!

But then again…

The week before I did a lot of sitting and enjoying of this scenery whilst beach camping:

I may have indulged myself a time or two in the last two weeks on less than healthy foods. I maybe even ate some candy which means I totally broke my promise to myself to not eat candy until I hit…whatever the goal was. It’s been so long that I’ve forgotten the exact goal. And all I’ve done is gain weight lately. I said at the beginning of this that feeling fat is not a motivator.

Gaining weight when you are trying to lose is not a motivator either. It makes me want to eat the entire carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream in my freezer.

Did you know that tomorrow (3rd Sunday of July) is National Ice Cream Day? I’d like to say that I’m going to have one single scoop, but I think that’s how my indulgences/overindulgence begin…with permission for a “special” treat and then it carries over to the next thing because I’ve already allowed myself other yumminess.

*sigh*

In theory, I know how I should eat and what I should eat. Why is it so difficult in practice?! I love to exercise and to find different forms of exercise to try (especially if it doesn’t aggravate my plantar fasciitis). It’s the food I can’t seem to get a handle on…at least this week it is.

Usually I am much more optimistic. I need to turn this whole thing around and find a way to start again! First thing on my agenda is to make a list of things that DO motivate me in my quest to lose weight/feel happy & comfortable in my body.

Can I really do this? Do I have the willpower? Some days I am not so sure, but I do know one thing. I do not want to give up. I am not ready to give in to the fat. I hate it. It makes me self-conscious all the time. The alternative is to reinvent, to figure out what I CAN do to accomplish my goal.

I want my happy ending.

Wish me luck!

suck suckity sucks

Today’s post title is a direct quote from something my 6 year old son said earlier this week. Today’s weigh in totally sucks…big time. I was expecting to see SOME loss! I went a whole week of camping where I was on my feet most of the day and not eating candy (or doing any snacking). Then I came home and had four workouts this week (and I’m not counting the whole day of walking around California Adventure)! I tried a spin class (difficult but a great workout). I went to a Zumba class (fun, fun, sweaty fun). I did not eat junk. I have been so dagnab good it is disgusting. Yet, here I sit teetering back toward 230 pounds. If I thought it would do any good I would scream.

If I didn’t want to get out of this fat body so bad I would take it as a sign and give in. WHY TRY?! But here I go starting a week of vacation: beach camping (wooohoooo). I’m staying away from the candy. I’ll be taking the dog on long walks (with Rae who will be walking her 3). I will play in the waves. Since I will be on the beach next week I doubt you’ll see my weigh in. Maybe that’s a good thing. This hard work without the loss in weight is killing me!!!!

Wish me luck. Apparently, I need it.

I smell like campfire and look like an alien

This afternoon I came home from five days of camping with the junior high & high school age girls from my church…178 of them. We call it “Girls Camp”. I’ve been privileged enough to be on the committee which organizes and runs it in my local area for the last four years. It might be my favorite week of the year. Today might also be the most tired I’ve been all year, too.

 

A few years ago when we were camping we started calling Red Vines “breakfast”. I don’t know about your camping trips, but ours usually include lots of Red Vines and a variety of candy and junk that’s easy to pop in your mouth. Calories on vacation don’t count, right?

 

 

Wrong.

 

I decided before I went to camp that I was going to avoid all the candy. I am doing that in my regular everyday life, so I should do that at camp! It was much easier than I expected. We had an amazing volunteer organize the food, so I never felt like I was left unsatisfied. Up until last night (when the tired started to sink in) I had no problem ignoring the candy or walking away if I felt like I couldn’t.

 

I had willpower!

 

 

Then last night I gave in to a handful (or three) of peanut M&Ms and some Red Vines. They were not nearly as good as I had expected. I actually had to go find something to get the waxy licorice taste out of my mouth.

 

How weird is that? How wonderful is that?!

 

Now I’m sitting here with a green mask on my face before I shower to get all the yuck out of my pores and trying not to fall asleep. I won’t weigh in until this Friday. Several friends want to work out together this week, so I’m going to try Zumba and a spin class (Heaven help me). But for now I’m going to wash the alien off my face and the smokey scent out of my hair then spend some quality time with my mattress.

 

Wish me luck.

Camping

Camping vacations have always been an excuse to eat whatever I want…lots of snacks and goodies that I normally avoid at home.  It would be fine, most likely, if we didn’t go so often.  We bought a motorhome last year and have gone out at least once a month since we bought it…in July we were gone every weekend…excellent right!?  It’s nice when you make a big purchase like that and actually use it.  On the downside, I’ve been eating horribly for a whole year and even worse last month.  I’ve also been very stagnant…in moving my feet.  A couple Sunday’s ago marked a new start for me.  Last weekend was the test to how committed I was; we went camping up in the mountains with some friends.

I am pleased to report I had lots of successes.  I did enjoy a couple of treats but they were portioned nicely and I abstained from lots more.  I packed TONS of fruit to grab instead of the king sized box of Milk Duds, and a tiny cup of Cherry Garcia instead of the full size tub…even if you get the Frozen Yogurt kind, if you eat the whole tub it’s a ton of calories, delicious calories!  I think I had about 10 Reese’s Pieces (my son’s treat), a bit of homemade cobbler and a small dollop of sugar-free/low-fat ice cream, a delicious pineapple mojito and a couple of hefeweizens…and yes, I did have a Woof-it.  Now that sounds like quite a bunch of treats, but I promise it’s miles better than I’ve done recently and they were all small portions.  I’m proud to have stopped at one Woof-it and didn’t have the s’mores, chips and other tons of other non-healthy grub.  I had a decent sized, healthy lunch and dinner and had my shake for breakfast every day.

In addition to making better food choices, I exercised!  A lot!  My friend and I went for a 4.5 mile walk along the lake both days we were there.  One of those days we took two of my three goldies on the walk with us…seriously added to the workout!   They were also a great distraction.  In addition to that, we went on multiple bike rides.  Normally I would have slept in and hung out at camp.  Can I tell you how hard it was to get up the 2nd morning!  I was sore from all this extra activity.  I’m happy I did…although I’m still feeling it as I type this.

I am camping again this weekend…with an even bigger group of friends, so I get to test myself again.  I’m making plans for different physical activities and will restock my fruit and veggie snacks…already cut and ready to grab and eat.  Wish me luck!

~~~~~~update~~~~~

Well, this weekend was not as successful.  We camped with LOTS of families we knew and ALL of them brought delicious things for the appetizer/cocktail get-together.  I know I had more than my share, but needing to look at the positive, I did NOT sample everything!  On the other side, the look reality in the face side…I know I failed to stick to my plan.  It’s so hard to pick yourself up when you fail your own set of rules.  I am learning not to dwell, and get right back up.   I did walk 1 out of the 3 days…did 3 loops, one with each dog.  Now, I know walking every day would have been best…but I’m going to have to be happy with one!  The night before we left I did get my hour walk/run in on the treadmill in our bedroom…in the dark… while my husband was going to sleep… huffing and puffing my way through the interval routine!  He’s a god-send for sure, encouraging me to get my time in for the day.

It is good to be home to get back into full-gear.  I was down 7.5 lbs before we left…tomorrow morning I’ll see how much damage this weekend did…and push on!

I hope you do too!  Fumble and pick yourself back up…love yourself enough to get back up and get moving!

Till next Monday…

~Rae

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