Monthly Archives: March 2012

Lost or Found

Last week I seemed to have lost my motivation or focus or something. If I had posted it would have been a bundle of excuses. Instead of listing all my distractions I thought I’d show you…


I found weight for the past two weeks. This was the damage this morning (full disclosure I forgot it was weigh in day and ate breakfast…which I don’t normally do)





No more excuses.

Spring break started this afternoon for me and for my kids. It’s a beautiful thing. I will have time to finish Mockingjay and not worry about it interfering with schoolwork. I won’t have to put my workouts on the backburner while I shuffle kids to and from activities and school. Plenty of time to plan, grocery shop and prepare healthy meals instead of making do or driving thru (I’m so sick of fast food). I have lofty goals for this week. I need to make up for past transgressions and reset my habits back to the kind that make me lose weight instead of gain.

I’m going to find a way to get exercise in everyday except Sunday this week.

I recognize that there are treats I enjoy, but I do not need to eat them just because they are available.

Veggies are my friend. I will eat more. They make good snacks, too.

It’s going to be a good week.

Wish me luck.




I’m baaaaaack!!

   Yes, I have been on a hiatus the last few weeks, and for that I apologize. We had an incident happen, we have very appropriately named, “The Flood of 2012″. Let’s just say my entire downstairs is gutted at the moment, and we have been a bit preoccupied. LOL. Combine that with a not so friendly flu bug that decided to make itself at home and we were in a world of yuck. We are mucking through it, and recovering.

” It” happened to be the day I went to my bariatric surgeon to face the music of my less than stellar performance the last month. I was NOT given a pat on the back for surviving, but a lecture and 6 week appointment to make sure I hadn’t “fallen off the wagon” Why? I GAINED 4 stinking pounds since I had seen him last. UGH. I had dropped to my pit of despair eyeore mode, only to walk in the door to two inches of water covering everything. Yay me.

Weighing in that day was an eye opener for me, and the flood made me aware of my less than active lifestyle. BOTH of which needed to change. Monday, yes two days ago, I took the steps I needed to push me back into where I belonged. I found my walking feet again. There is a trail outside of post that is beautiful. Because of the rain last week, it had been too muddy to attempt..until now. I grabbed my trusty jogging stroller and walking buddy Cwynn and headed out. The goal: 2 miles. What surprised me…I actually ended up doing 4.25 miles…and it felt GREAT!!! I mean, absolutely-this -is-what-I-had-been-missing phenomenal!!! Needless to say, I replayed the event yesterday…only this time I RAN the first 3/4 of a mile. Me + running have never really been a compatible duo. I have always been WAY to endowed up top, and it was uncomfortable. I still have my girls…just a smaller version now. LOL. Apparently that is all that was needed. I didn’t go the entire 4 miles. However I did go 2.5 and it again was great!!

 Now, on to the amazing part. I weighed this morning. Not expecting much, but hoping for the best.Ask and ye shall receive. My NEW WEIGHT: 236.2. Yes siree..I not only lost the new weight gain, I also said goodbye to the hovering number that had been haunting me for so long. Hooray!! Totally excited, motivated and ready for some more booty kicking!!

  At first, I let myself get swallowed up in the lecture, weight gain and literally opened up a lot more flood gates than I realized. I allowed it to envelop me, it marinated awhile and I let it stay. Now..eyes are open, mind and body are aware of what needs to be done. The goal is to go after it..and keep going after it until I have reached it. Where has this girl been the last few months?? I have missed her, and would really like the new me to stick around for a long time to come. More walking? YES PLEASE!!!!

Love, Me!

I was not going to post anything on my actual weight until May 31st, as that is the day of the “big goal”.  I have had several friends say they have not seen me post on my weight in awhile, so I will give you all a sneak peak and you can celebrate the smaller goal of breaking out of the 230’s.   

The best part of reaching this small goal is that I am encouraged to continue doing what I am doing, and trying a little something more to help push the excess weight into my past.  

This month, I am choosing to focus on the fruit of the spirit “LOVE”…. Oh, you would think this is an easy one, it’s not.  I love my husband, I love my children,  I love my family, I love my friends, and I even work hard at loving my enemies!  On the other hand, I do not love myself.  I wonder sometimes, what I have done in this life that repulses me so much;  Trying to figure out a way to like myself is a challenge, allowing me to love myself will take some focused effort.  

If you are a praying person, I ask from you this:  Pray for me, and all the ladies that put their thoughts and feeling out for the world to scrutinize.  Ask God to fill us with a love for ourselves that he desires for us to have.  Pray that the love for myself does not come from my external changes, but for my emotional and spiritual successes.  

I know I can do all things through Him (Phil 4:13), He tells me that;  I know that He Loves me (John 3:16). I also know that He dwells in me, therefore I should recognize and love Jesus that lives in me.

Until next week friends…  Love to you all!  

What’s the real reason?

I downloaded a free Kindle book this week not really thinking I would read it, but hey, free is FREE and I needed something new to read on the eliptical! (I haven’t managed to learn to read while running yet LOL) It’s a weight loss book. I have read a lot of diet books. A LOT! You hope maybe this one will have the magic formula. Maybe this one will make it click. Maybe! To my surprise it was not a diet book, but deals with the mental side of losing weight. What our hang-ups are to losing weight that keep us on that roller coaster of a ride with the scale. There is a good exercise in the begining that I thought I would share this week.

Why do you want to lose weight? Seems like an easy answer doesn’t it? But what is the true reason? The one that is deep down inside? The one that will keep you going when all else fails that will help you achieve your goal? Sometimes we try to lose weight for the wrong or should I say the superficial reasons.

When you are faced with that piece of cake, bag of chips, package of cookies or carton of ice cream, what is going to keep you from eating it? We all get tired, depressed, bored and hungry and what is going to compell you to stick to the program? When those items are screaming your name and every fiber of your being is trying to sway you to give in, is your reason strong enough to prevent you from caving in?

Often it is not. The candy bar or cookies or whatever, are stronger than the idea of looking good for an event or fitting into an outfit. They are right there in front of you, in plain sight and all of your goals, the reunion, the outfit- whatever it is for you- is in the background by comparison. That’s not to say you won’t ever be able to say no, it just not a switch to just turn off.

If you haven’t already realized your true purpose for losing the weight, you should find it. Stop and get clear on why you are doing this.

I want to live a long and healthy life with my husband. I want to travel and not feel restricted in what I can do. I want to go to an amusement park with my kids and not panic at the weight limits or if I can fit in the seats. I want to look in a mirror and be proud of what I see. I could go on, but how about you? Is it something deeper than a New Year’s resolution, that will keep you going to reach your purpose so that the lure of the cake won’t even come close.

The exersice of the “5 Whys” is to ask a question 5 times, at least. You may even need to go deeper than 5 to get to the route of why you are trying to lose weight. Really listen to that inner voice.

Why do I want (or need) to lose weight?

So I can feel better about myself.

Why do I need to feel better about myself?

Because my weight hurts my self confidence.

Why do I need to increase my confidence?

So I am willing and able and not afraid to do all the things my husband and kids would like me to do with them.

Why am I afraid to do the activities with my family?

Because I know I won’t have the energy to keep up or to to it correctly, fit in the seat, or I’ll be laughed at for even trying.

Why do I want to have more energy? Why do I want to lose weight?

I want to be an active participant in my own life and not a spectator.

When you know your true reasons, write them down and look at them as often. When you are faced with a temptation, count backward from 100 and think of those reasons. By the time you get to 1 that ice cream will look less appealing. When you don’t really want to hit the gym, read your reasons again.

We can do this and when we know why  we have much more motivation to endure the struggle and reach our goals!

Exerpts from Weight Loss Made Simple by Rodrick Armstrong

I haven’t met you, but I appreciate you all and cheer for you everyday!

I almost didn’t want to post

I almost forgot to post again this week and then I thought about my week and didn’t really want to share how I missed a shred this week and ate half a package of Oreos. And then I though it’s part of being real right?

There is one bright side to my efforts to lose weight. We are keeping close track of our budget and we usually go over on groceries and eating out but we won’t go over this month. Thats exciting right! Ok. Maybe not exciting. With the scale not being my friend and having to admit my defeat to Oreos, this thought gives me hope that I can do better next week. I will too. I will report a better week of exercise and the Oreos are gone so I will do better snacking too.

I will, I will, I will.

5:30 is NOT going to happen!!

Whew… It’s still Tuesday and I almost forgot to post.  Well, I got on the scale today and there was no movement.  I am grateful for that because there was not much exercising going on this week at my house.  The best laid plans, right??  Well, my husband and I seriously considered the 5:30 exercise classes at the Y, but that few extra hours of sleep in the morning was way to precious to part with….SO, I am back a regular routine of exercising in the afternoons and evenings.  

It is quite fun to see the encouragement my family is getting from my new found life choice.  My children are exercising and watching what they are putting in their bodies, and it brings me joy to have them encouraging me to continue to do what is healthy.  

I do hope I have good news to report next week after my v

Be Excellent

I tried so hard for an excellent week that I kinked my neck and it has set me back a little bit…just a little bit though.  I missed a couple workouts but have gotten in my cardio workouts.  I’m going to try weights tonight and see how we do.  Knowing I have a chiropractor appt on Wed is helping me decide to try things out tonight.

I think I’ve been much too free on my free days.  I made some delicious cupcakes this weekend and snacked on them the whole time I was making them…a 3 step process.  I  found that I added a whole cup of extra butter in them, making them incredibly moist – and a little crumbly…yet full of fat – but tasty all the same.  Add  some ganache (I love that word) and frosting and YUM!  I did only eat one of the cupcakes I made but I might have had 6 in the oopses and testings.  OH Well.  Our friends made some lovely green cocktails as well and the appetizers were OH MY!…you catch my drift.  A very excellent free day and some excellent workout/eating days make for an ok week.

Being in the desert this weekend, I will need to really watch my foods and make a seriously laid out plan of what I can eat and when.  Saturday I will take my not so out of control free day and know I’ll be getting in a fun workout.  We’ll see if I can see a change on the scale by Friday – I plan on doing my weigh-ins on Fridays now…instead of after a free day.  That just isn’t fair, is it?  Anyway, that’s my plan.  I haven’t shared my weight in some time because there’s nothing to share.  I am exactly the same.  No more, no less, just up one or two and down one or two, but never down into the 160’s.  It’s about time.  That’s my hope for Friday anyway.

Here’s to an excellent week!

A girl walks into a store…………

It has been an interesting week.  Had my second sleep study. Everyone should be hooked up to wires and a mask and try to sleep. It’s a real treat! Closed on our refi of the house. It makes me want to cry how much equity we have lost in the 4 years since we built our house. It has turned our dream house into a nightmare. Got 2 kids to 3 doctor appointments. I am getting tired of cleaning up vomit and have made a serious dent in my cleaning supplies stock pile.  Found out that the change in my husband’s work schedule (going from nights 6p-6a to days 6a-6p) isn’t happening any time soon. Plus he has know decided to go for his doctorate in school. The loneliness is creeping in from being unable to have much time with him.  A bill was signed into law that will allow me to work from home. That will raise my profit margin. Ate decently worked-out 5 days and gained a pound from two weeks ago’s official weigh-in. The kicker was when I went shoe shopping.

I have been in need of new shoes. I had two I was rotating through, but my toes broke through one pair and my feet were starting to hurt in the others. (They were 2 years old. I guess that may have something to do with it.) My DH kept telling me I should go to a specialty shoe store whenever I was in town. Things kept coming up that I needed to get home for and didn’t have the extra time to stop. Actually, I was just avoiding the store. I think it is a joke that I am “running” and can just imagine what people would think when I walk into a store that caters to fit and athletic people. I have always worried about what others think. (Way too much according to my therapists) Not to mention the fact that they have you run on a treadmill while filming it to see what your feet are doing. At least at the gym, for the most part, everyone is in their own zone and not really paying attention to me and I am pretty sure no one is filming me! After this week’s runs my feet were numb and then painful. Not good.

I got up Friday determined to go to the store after work at noon. My anxiety was climbing as I tried to figure out if I should bring workout clothes to change into, the appropriate socks to wear, do I take my old shoes with me or not. Silly things as I think about it now, but genuine concerns then. As I pulled up to the store all I could see were 2 male employees and it hit me that my legs needed a good shave. I wasn’t trying to look special for anyone, but when someone will be in that vicinity, which your feet are attached to the legs, you don’t want them thinking “Man, she’s hairy!” I took at big breath and went in anyway and to my relief a female employee appeared and greeted me. “Thank you, Lord!” Despite the fact that she was probably no bigger around than my thigh, she was very nice. Put me in a pair of neutral shoes and to the treadmill we went. Luckily, I was the only one in the store! As I got off she was replaying the video and going through the analysis when she asked if I ran in high school or college? HA! She proceeds to tell and show me that my mechanics are perfect, no pronation, I land my foot well and roll correctly. She has been running most of her life and doesn’t have as nice a gait. “Some people are just born to run,” she says to me. Ha Ha! Me, a RUNNER! Wait, me a runner? She didn’t appear to be on drugs. Isn’t it funny, wondrous how God makes us?!

We tried on shoes and I had a bit more confidence. With each pair I started looking for more than comfort, but could I really run in them. I was made to run, I should run. Stop focusing on what I can’t do, (Not running the entire time I am on the treadmill, that will come) but on what I can do.

I went to the gym with a little more confidence that maybe I don’t look as ridiculous on the treadmill as I thought. As I was doing the strength portion of my workout, I was looking around and was struck with the thought that we are all made to move. To walk, jog, run, ride a bike, climb steps, row, jump rope, swim, lift a weight, stretch a band, even shake your booty in Zumba. God doesn’t want us to be prisoners in our bodies. He has made us with the ability to move and be free.

Apparently shoes are good for approximately 350 miles. These shoes and I are going to get to know each other and earn every one of those miles. Look, they even match my yoga mat!

Here are a few stats that will get me off the couch
– Being obese shortens your life span by 13 years. – Obesity more than doubles one’s chances of developing high blood pressure. – Nearly 70 percent of cardiovascular disease cases are related to obesity. – As many as 90% of individuals with type 2 diabetes are reported to be overweight or obese.- Every one pound of weight lost equals 5 pounds of pressure off the knees. – A 5% reduction in body weight can significantly reduce your chance of a heart attack.

I’ve got news, bad news and good news

Well. I don’t know about this being new news but still no scale. Maybe they’ll kick me off since I’m saying the scale doesn’t matter to me right now. Kinda goes against the whole web title….

The bad news
My planned dinners didn’t go quite as planned as one might have hoped.

Monday: I had a bad headache so Ryan made the one dinner that he has in his arsenal, macaroni and cheese. Not Kraft, homemade with whole wheat pasta and grilled white chicken breast.

Tuesday: Salsa chicken night. Put a cup of salsa, can diced tomatoes, frozen corn and a can of kidney beans in a slow cooker for six hours on low. Shred and serve over rice with a dollop of low fat sour cream.

Wednesday: Dang Arby’s. I crave it when I don’t feel well, and I want to cook even less when I don’t feel well. It’s a double threat.

Thursday: Burritos, tortillas with fat free refried beans and leftover salsa chicken.

Friday: We were out house looking (we didn’t get the one we put an offer on earlier) so we went out to a BBQ place but we didn’t get any soda and we three shared a plate of food. So that’s better right?

Saturday was date night so I’m calling it free

Next week I’m going to try no eating out, whatsoever. Eating out was really the only naughty nights. The meals we make at home now are pretty healthy when we plan ahead.
Baked potatoes, Philly subs, French dip, spinach pasta, leftovers, campfire hash.

The good news
I got in three shredding sessions with Jillian. I do Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. She has three levels that you are supposed to do for the days and then move up a level. I can’t do it yet ten days in a row. She kicks my trash in those 25 minutes. I can barely move after and can’t pick anything up the next day. But I have noticed my endurance change in just these five times. I can almost do all of the jumping jacks and squat presses she asks for. I’m going to try for three more shreds this week and if the weather continues to be nice some more walks and hikes.

Watch your calories in, calories out in happiness fellow watchers of weight.

Green is my favorite color and these are my favorite pants

I planned and I lost….weight that is. I lost more than 2 pounds. Now just under 4 pounds to lose before I can reward myself with a pedicure to beautify these horrendous looking toenails.

I put on my favorite pair of pants on today. I bought them on a whim at least 5 years ago. These pants are so comfy! They are flowy. They feel good on freshly shaved legs. They can be dressed up or dressed down. They have an elastic waistband to accomodate my changing size. I love these pants and yet, I cannot wait until they don’t stay up and I have to get rid of them. It’s getting close! I hike them up a little because they’re falling down my body enough now when I put them on that I tend to step on the bottom. The last 3 times I wore these pants I nearly killed myself tripping over the flowing fabric at the bottom of the pant leg.

Honestly, I want them to not fit, but I will miss these pants dearly. Finding clothes you love is rare when you have to search and search and search (and then search some more) through stores for something that fits well and then pray that it looks good.  The only thing that encourages me is the smaller the size I’m in the more variety of clothing there seems to be in stores…and there’s a greater variety of stores I can shop at!

Here’s to another week of planning, hoping to reach my next goal so I can make my toes pretty, and shrinking like Alice in Wonderland!

Wish me luck!

%d bloggers like this: