Monthly Archives: January 2013

that old familiar pain

Got two excellent workouts in this week and I am f e e l i n g  i t !

Also had a doc appointment this week and did not like what I saw on his scale.

However…

I am making the time for my workouts. Letting the rest of the world live in its chaos while I push the pedals or lift some weights is doing me good…painful good. I think the pain is a reminder that I’m back. No more excuses about having no time to workout.

The pain is also a reminder to stay away from the sweets…or it should be. I am weak! Emotional and weak lately. My kids wanted to watch Marley & Me this afternoon. I protested but gave in. I held my sweet 6 year old boy while he sobbed for the death of the on-screen dog… and I envied his tears. Tears seem useles. Or maybe I’m kidding myself and bottling in the stuff I should be letting go of. Or maybe I just really like chocolate.

Hoping for some good news in the next week and to find a better way to deal with the bad/sad/frustrating/infuriating stuff that comes along.

Wish me luck.

What can I say?

Number of workouts this week: 0

Did I cheat with food? Yes  Sir-ee Bob!

Number of days I cheated: 5, maybe 6, oh alright everyday!

So much for motivational sayings!

In my defense it has been a ridiculously busy, stressful week. Not good enough you say? Yeah I know! Maybe it’s  subconscious. Our church has challenged us all to a 21-day fast beginning tomorrow. You can do whatever type of fast you feel led to do, and I have chosen a sunrise-sunset fast with a partial fast of bread. The all day fast because I am feeling very far from God right now and the partial because bread is my downfall! I need to break that obsession and find comfort in Him rather than a buttered roll. Could it be that knowing this sacrifice was coming, I indulged myself  leading up to it. Probably. That’s the kind of logic where food is concerned I have given before.

The chore is to not let this set back become my routine. Must move forward. Must persevere!

I am reminded of something I saw on FB though

217856_10200418715500926_541797706_n (1)

 

Well, I guess it’s a good thing tomorrow is Monday! LOL!

How many mulligans do we get anyways?

Here we go!!

Good Luck All!

Life Goes On

I remember vividly when my grandfather died. I was far away at school and the rest of the family was within a few hours of each other. His death was a shock. I felt like he would be around forever. Handling his death in a place where no one else knew him was torture. I couldn’t get a flight out until the next day and I had a few things to do to arrange for being gone, like tell my professor’s about my tragedy. I had a difficult time in that 24 hours focusing on anything… even while I was driving. At one point I remember being angry at all the people on the road simply for going on with their lives, for acting like it was just another day when I knew the world would never be the same with my grandpa gone. I felt like my world had stopped and I didn’t understand how others could function!

This week has been a roller coaster of emotions as we have waited for red tape requirements to be satisfied so my step-dad could get to the hospital he needs to be at for testing and to get put on their liver transplant list. Plus, winter break ended and my kids went back to school, my husband is waiting to interview for a promotion, the laundry needs to be done, and my foot hurts. Life keeps going even though someone I love is going through this insanity.

I tell you all this because I feel a bit guilty that my little family of 5, in the middle of all this, is taking a mini vacation that we planned before Christmas. I am having fun. Really. I’m also texting back & forth with my family a lot and worrying about my kids and husband having fun and frustrated that I forgot to bring my good walking shoes.

In the midst of all this life stuff I have been good at remembering to take time for me and using workouts as stress relief. I need all the stress relief I can get.

Life, some days it is amazingly fantastic and other days it doesn’t matter how beautiful the weather or how cool the venue – it is just hard to smile. I’m gonna put on my swimsuit and give it my best shot though!

Wish me luck.

Well….

I have no idea what to blog this week. None. Nada. Zilch. Zero. I think my brain is fried from preparing taxes, w-2’s, and 1099’s for work. Or maybe frozen from our negative temps. Either way I have nothing except maybe some complaining because I gained this week even with 4 workout days. And we’re not talking easy workouts either.

Since I am a little discouraged this week, I decided to try to get some motivation/perseverance going with some of my favorite quotes. Maybe if I choose one each day and make it my mantra, repeating it over and over during the day it will help me push on.

Here’s to a better week!

When you believe in a possible God, you can do the impossible!                                                                                                                                                   -Ray Lewis

 

‎”You’re never a loser until you quit trying.”
—Mike Ditka

Never give up! Failure and rejection are only the first steps in succeeding.
—Jim Valvano

Every man is the builder of a temple, called his body.
—Henry David Thoreau

If you never push yourself, you will never know how strong you are.

When I exercise I wear black. It’s like a funeral for my fat.

Test Yourself! It is in you, I promise, but you must let it out!

We all have dreams, in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline and effort.
-Jesse Owens

It’s very hard in the beginning to understand that the whole idea is not to beat the other runners. Eventually you learn that the competition is against the little voice inside you that wants you to quit.- George Sheehan

Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
-Walter Elliott

Clear your mind of can’t.—Samuel Johnson

The voice inside of your head that says you can’t is a liar!

I may not be the fastest and I may not be the strongest, but I will be damned is I am not trying my hardest.

Even if you are walking, you are still lapping everyone still on the couch.

 

 

Hellllooooo Taxes!

Almost forgot to post.

Have nothing great to report. The year is starting out sucky!

1 workout-48min run.

Taxes are consuming my life right now. Not my own. Preparing employees W-2’s and 1099’s for the contract workers and that is not to mention the giving statements for our church members. I know I have until the end of the month, but I would rather get them done and not have to worry about them later. Besides it never fails that a problem comes up and drags it out.

I plan to hit the gym tomorrow for no other reason than to relieve some stress!

Oy! This is the time of year I should have stock in Advil!

Therapeutic New Year

I have been anticipating a week when I will have enough time to go to the gym, to plan our family meals, and when my kids stop needing me to mediate/entertain/prepare food for them. First it was going to be in the weeks between my semester and when the kids got out of school. Then it got pushed back to being the week after Christmas…the week of New Years…when my step-dad gets out of the hospital….when my youngest graduates college and we win the lottery.

Yesterday I took matters into my own hands.

I woke up my teenage daughter, put her in charge of the early bird 6 year old, donned my workout clothes, decided the world could wait an hour for me, and went to the gym for spin class. A setback or two later and I got to class when it was half over. I worked hard and stayed an extra 10 minutes after the class was over to make up for being late. I walked out of that room, toward the front door of the gym, out into the cold sunshine and to my car feeling relief. Stress had melted away. Guilt for not going to the gym was no longer valid. I was motivated to eat better so as not to have wasted my sweat. It was totally worth neglecting my family and finding the kids had made a mess in the kitchen with their “breakfast”. Exercise therapy.

This week…this year I will not be waiting for my to do list to be checked off, for the laundry to be finished, or for my kids to not need me (that might not ever happen – I’m pretty awesome). Instead, I will put me first…at least a few times a week. Life happens. My only goal/resolution for 2013: Stop waiting for the situation to be perfect and give myself some priority.

Wish me luck!

Resolves and Resolutions

Look, it’s me! I’m blogging again! And on my day!! This will be a quick ditty, but I wanted to check in after the Holiday’s.

Christmas was a very fun time around here. We baked {and ate} more cookies than one should ever bake or eat, we had fun watching Christmas movies, reading Christmas stories, introducing our kiddos to the new tradition of having an Elf on the Shelf {whom my kids so kindly named Psy the Snitch}, and this year we focused on the giving of Christmas and the life of our Savior. It was a beautiful holiday season. I hope yours was too!

 

As we ring in the new year I have made some goals. Some are a little silly, but they are goals none the less. I thought about them long and hard and wanted to make sure that my goals were not completely unattainable. I didn’t want to shoot myself in the foot before I was even starting. Now these are personal as well as weight loss goals… So here they are!

1. Have a baby by the end of March 🙂

2. While still pregnant no candy before lunch {yes, I have a HORRIBLE habit of enjoying dessert for breakfast}

3. Get out of debt–student loans and all

4. Focus on my personal prayers and scripture study

5. Drink more water

6. Lose 50lbs by December

 

That’s it my friends. And I feel all of these are within reach. I know that they will take discipline and some will be harder than others, but I can do it. I know I can. So what are your goals for 2013?

And to leave you all off… here’s a pic of my belly yesterday…don’t worry, it’s not a naked belly–I love you all too much to do that to you! 29w and 1d… and because my OB is inducing me a week early that means 10 more weeks until I meet this little girl who I’m pretty sure is having a dance party in my bulging belly! 🙂

 

Pregnant Belly

%d bloggers like this: