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Abandonment Issues

I started this blog with friends, but I was the writer (I use the term loosely). I encouraged some of them to just type what they felt when they were nervous, because I was afraid to blog alone. They did their friendly duty, got excited about the new venture, and wrote their posts beautifully.

Now I’m quite comfortable sharing my thought processes, stuff you never wanted to know,  the numbers on my scale, and much more. It seems, however, that my friends have better things to do than (over)share about their fitness goals, failures and successes.

I’m totally fine with that.

No, really. I don’t feel like I’m the only person struggling this week because I gave in to sugar cravings while I was PMSing. I don’t mind that no one else seems to want to talk about how the numbers on their scale are exactly the same this week as last week. It doesn’t bother me at all that those busy friends haven’t even commented on my posts in forever lately let alone shared their own stories.

Honestly. I’m  ok.

Although…

I might feel better if I knew that someone else was struggling against their cravings for soda or if another friend (or two) was trying to get back into the groove of a new school year. Knowing that someone else also saw their reflection from a few yards away and realized she is not the shape she pictures in her head might improve my outlook, too.

But like I said…I’m fine.

This week I’ll read what Kris posts and give her another thumbs up for her awesomeness. The rest of the week I’ll avoid sugar while I try to figure out how to productively spend my time now that all my kids are in school all day. And if no one else posts about their holiday weekend and how it affected their goals I’m sure I can find something else to read. I did just borrow the Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society from a friend. When I don’t get any comments on this post I’ll just pretend I’m sweating from my eyes in spin class next week. It’s going to be a great week. Don’t you worry about me…at all.

Wish me luck…?

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Autumn? Who is She?

I know, I’ve been MIA. Between the hubs going back to work, the hubs getting laid off a week later, and all the other fun things in between, I’ve kinda let the blog slide to the side. Sorry, friends, family, and loved ones.

So, here’s what I’ve learned the last few weeks. I’m REALLY good at stress eating. Like, if it were an Olympic sport I’d take home the gold! Also, the week of my “womanly time” I should not be allowed in the grocery store. I may have purchased a bag of snacks today that have enough calories to last me the week. Naughty, naughty. But, after eating some of the chips, Twizzlers, cookies, and peanut butter m&ms I realized that I really don’t want to gain back the 9lbs I’ve lost in the past 2 weeks. So, I stopped. And then had a chocolate dipped ice cream cone at McDonald’s tonight {when did they start serving that?! It’s like they want me to be fat! lol}. On the for real, tomorrow will be better. It was one bad day I’m not going to get on myself. I just needed to come clean. So clean is what I am!

And I promise, next time, I’ll talk more about all the salads I’ve been eating and how I’ve actually cooked at home EVERY night this week! HUGE for me! So much better on the belly and bank account, too!

xoxo,

Autumn

Resolve

My jeans were falling off my bum today. Nice problem to have, but I like these jeans. When I was commenting on it (not complaining) my husband said, “Well then stop….wait. Never mind. Don’t stop.” I thought it was sweet. If you’ve never met my husband let me introduce you…

Cute, right?! I’m a lucky girl. He is a very good husband, too. Perhaps you noticed he looks kinda skinny. He’s got great genes (and he looks good in his jeans). He has made me feel loved and beautiful nearly every day we have been married. He’s supported me when I have tried to lose weight before and not said a word when things didn’t go well…or ended abruptly. He has given me the space to make my decisions, and loved me no matter what.

I really do feel blessed, because I know that isn’t always the case for women. A friend told me in confidence this week that her husband said it was time for her to lose weight. {crickets} I’m sure it was said in love, but the sting of it…hard to recover from. I’m obstinate. I think that is why Heavenly Father gave me my husband. If my hubs said that to me I might’ve gone out and eaten a cheesecake to spite him. That’s not healthy…in any sense of the word. But the truth of it is if you are going to lose weight it has to be your decision. For some of us, it’s hard to make that decision…again. We’ve made the decision before with little or no success. Why would we want to put ourselves through it AGAIN?!

I have one good answer: because you CAN lose the weight (all of it). You CAN get healthy. You CAN look seriously hot in a nice pair of jeans….or boots…or dress…or whatever you wanna look hot in. What is stopping you? Tell me and I will join your support group to help you overcome that obstacle(s).

Why do I believe that you can? Because I gained a half a pound this week. Maybe it was PMS or muscle weight (my bum is seriously sore from this week’s workouts) or maybe its my lack of time which translated into too much eating out. No matter the reason, I did not give up. I (most nights) got a good night sleep. I still did not eat candy. I got 3 workouts in. I will not let that half a pound phase me. Not even a little. It may even have increased my resolve to work harder this week and make sure the scale is in my favor next Friday.

I believe you can because weight loss isn’t just about success. Real weight loss, the kind I’m trying to achieve this time (The time. My time) real weight loss comes from not giving up, from overcoming the obstacles, from Resolve.  Do you have it?

My resolve this week will be focused on better planning my family meals. No drive-thrus. We may “have to” go out to celebrate my handsome hub’s promotion (woot! woot!), but that can still be healthy. I resolve to take at least one day to go walking/jogging/running. It will mostly be walking, but I want to work up to a run…in addition to my regular workout class I attend.

Wish me luck!…and I’ll wish the same for you!

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