Life Goes On

I remember vividly when my grandfather died. I was far away at school and the rest of the family was within a few hours of each other. His death was a shock. I felt like he would be around forever. Handling his death in a place where no one else knew him was torture. I couldn’t get a flight out until the next day and I had a few things to do to arrange for being gone, like tell my professor’s about my tragedy. I had a difficult time in that 24 hours focusing on anything… even while I was driving. At one point I remember being angry at all the people on the road simply for going on with their lives, for acting like it was just another day when I knew the world would never be the same with my grandpa gone. I felt like my world had stopped and I didn’t understand how others could function!

This week has been a roller coaster of emotions as we have waited for red tape requirements to be satisfied so my step-dad could get to the hospital he needs to be at for testing and to get put on their liver transplant list. Plus, winter break ended and my kids went back to school, my husband is waiting to interview for a promotion, the laundry needs to be done, and my foot hurts. Life keeps going even though someone I love is going through this insanity.

I tell you all this because I feel a bit guilty that my little family of 5, in the middle of all this, is taking a mini vacation that we planned before Christmas. I am having fun. Really. I’m also texting back & forth with my family a lot and worrying about my kids and husband having fun and frustrated that I forgot to bring my good walking shoes.

In the midst of all this life stuff I have been good at remembering to take time for me and using workouts as stress relief. I need all the stress relief I can get.

Life, some days it is amazingly fantastic and other days it doesn’t matter how beautiful the weather or how cool the venue – it is just hard to smile. I’m gonna put on my swimsuit and give it my best shot though!

Wish me luck.

Summer Vacation is over…

I’m baaaack!   Oh what a summer it has been.  I was able to take 3 weeks to drive cross-country and back with my parents and son, camp on the beach for a week with my best friend, and then spend 19 fabulous days in paradise=Hawaii with my family.

I did really well on my road trip – even lost a few pounds and got under 170, but then I quickly gained it back and a couple more during the rest of my holiday.

I shouldn’t be surprised or upset, but I really wish I’d have gotten my act together and lost some of those extra pounds before this amazing summer so I would enjoy the pictures more.

I have a second chance…I’m off on a week cruise to the Bahamas, Jamaica, and Grand Cayman, as well as a stop in Cozumel, Mexico.  After more than a couple of years heading up the Awana ministry at our church, my hubby and I retired last year, and we were gifted with a get-away.  With so many already planned, we put it on the back burner for later.  Later is Nov.  My son is going on an East Coast adventure with school for 2 weeks giving us the perfect opportunity for a get-away all by ourselves!  What an amazing gift.  More than we EVER expected.

So, now I get the chance to make sure I enjoy my pictures more.  I can stop wishing and whining, and start doing, right!?  I started back at the gym last week.  I feel EVERY muscle.  Individually.  Some are yelling.  I started my shakes again.  I’m only eating dinner with the family and using shakes to manage my food intake.  I seem to do well with maintaining so I’m working my way down to a weight I want to maintain.

Let’s see what I can do in 2 months.  Goals work for me…as long as I’m doing the work to reach them.  Otherwise they just make me frustrated and upset with myself, watching time rush at me without doing anything and soon I lose my motivation.  After, I always wish I’d just done something.  Anything is better than nothing.  So here’s to a goal, a plan, and action!

Sharing a picture or two from our trip to Hawaii in July.  I’m hoping to look different in the pictures I post from the Bahamas in November!

Summer Time

I know I haven’t been on here in FOREVER but it’s the summer time and me and mine are B-U-S-Y!

Not to mention, Amy is here with her 4 cute little ones, so we are busy having fun!!

Promise to catch up soon! Oh, and btw! Amy looks Ah-may-zing! So proud of my sis-wu!

 

Have  a great rest of the summer! There’s only 2 weeks left until my littles are back in school! But we all know the heat in AZ is here for at least 3 more months!

 

XOXO,

Autumn

I smell bad…and I earned it

I know I didn’t show up/post on Friday, but i was thinking about it. I’ve started my list of why I am motivated to lose this weight. I’ll share it later this week. BTW-since my bloggy friends seem to have jumped ship lately I am going to try to post something everyday this week.

I went to my second spin class this morning. I managed to be on the bike for the whole time, too! Walking out of that class I noticed that even the most fit people were dripping sweat. My little rag had no dry spots left on it and in the middle of the workout I looked at my hands and thought, “I didn’t know the back of my hands COULD sweat.” Seriously good workout.

Then I went to 3 different grocery stores in my quest for the best deals. It wasn’t until I got home that I realized I smell bad. So if you stood behind me in a line or too close to me in the produce section today…SORRY!

Well… I’m not sorry that I smell bad. The workout was totally worth it. But I am sorry if my stench invaded your dance space.

Hope you are as excited as I am to get back to the task at hand (losing weight…or reading about me doing it…). Time to shake off the lazy summer and get to work!

Wish me luck!

suck suckity sucks

Today’s post title is a direct quote from something my 6 year old son said earlier this week. Today’s weigh in totally sucks…big time. I was expecting to see SOME loss! I went a whole week of camping where I was on my feet most of the day and not eating candy (or doing any snacking). Then I came home and had four workouts this week (and I’m not counting the whole day of walking around California Adventure)! I tried a spin class (difficult but a great workout). I went to a Zumba class (fun, fun, sweaty fun). I did not eat junk. I have been so dagnab good it is disgusting. Yet, here I sit teetering back toward 230 pounds. If I thought it would do any good I would scream.

If I didn’t want to get out of this fat body so bad I would take it as a sign and give in. WHY TRY?! But here I go starting a week of vacation: beach camping (wooohoooo). I’m staying away from the candy. I’ll be taking the dog on long walks (with Rae who will be walking her 3). I will play in the waves. Since I will be on the beach next week I doubt you’ll see my weigh in. Maybe that’s a good thing. This hard work without the loss in weight is killing me!!!!

Wish me luck. Apparently, I need it.

Rain, Rain go away!!!

I know it is Saturday and I am supposed to post on Sunday, but this is my refuge rather than turning to food. So please indulge me while I vent.

The Florida leg of our journey was meant to be “our” time. A chance to decompress, relax and spend time as a family before our teens are grown. It wasn’t a good sign when driving down we hit storms with rain so thick we could only see 10 feet in front of the car. It has rained every day. The locals keep telling us how it hasn’t rained like this “in years and years.” We did brave the beach twice during the few breaks, but it never lasted long. All our plans went out the window. Universal studios- no one wants to be hit by lightning on a roller coaster. Our chartered boat to go sea fishing cancelled 1 hour before we would have left the dock. We tried to salvage things. Hubs took the teens to Disney Quest-an indoor 5 story virtual reality arcade for a day while I stayed with our toddlers. Our 4 yr old hadn’t been feeling well. Today is our last day and we made plans to go on a boat ride with the aquarium where they drop nets and pull up sea life to see, touch and learn about and then the beach. The sun was actually shining. Our little guys sickness had progressed to not keeping water down though. Making it 2 1/2 days since he had eaten and you could just see the dehydration. He also seemed to be running a fever. After a trip to the pharmacy who sent us to a clinic who wouldn’t see us because of our out-of-state insurance, we ended up in the ER of the hospital the patients in the waiting room of the clinic recommended. You know your kid is sick when they do not have to hold down a 4-year-old when they start an IV. His white blood cell count came back high enough to worry the doctor into putting him on IV antibiotics and send us home on some. After filling prescriptions we didn’t get back to our rental house until 4. Another day shot.

As we started to pack things, I thought I should see what was happening in the rest of the world and check our route home. Flooding. Record. Breaking. Rainfall. 20+ inches in areas with more tomorrow. Our next hotel reservation/stop is in the heart of the flooding. Do you have any idea what driving in those kind of conditions adds to your time on the road. They cancelled all flights out of the panhandle today due to rain.

We are sitting here looking at alternate routes that will try to keep us drier (the south is just all wet right now) and won’t require us to wear life preservers.

Morale is low for me and hubs and I just want to eat something. I keep pecking at things as I walk by the kitchen. So I am blogging to keep my hands busy.

During the times of light drizzle I have gotten into the pool and done laps. What’s a little rain when you are already wet? I have eaten more than I would have liked. With 5 more travel days, I hope I can redeem myself and not be too afraid of the scale when I get home.

Wish me luck. Prayers are always appreciated:/

Best laid plans…

I just ate a cookie. It wasn’t even homemade.

This morning for breakfast I ate several sticky buns. Those were homemade…and delicious.

The sticky buns started me on a downward spiral. Maybe I should give myself a pass for Christmas, but I set a specific goal to weigh significantly less by the new year. In the crazy, busy prep for today I didn’t even weigh myself or blog on Friday. No wonder it is so hard to maintain, let alone lose weight during the holidays.

But I’m not waiting until New Year’s day to start again. I’m starting again right now.

This week is going to be tough. My regular workout is off for the next 2 weeks. We’re still partying with family for a few days. Kids and I are home and working on not driving each other crazy for at least another week. Luckily I’m going to stay with Rae for a couple of days. That should encourage some good habits…2 bloggers, both accountable to you lot, hanging out…we’d better control ourselves!!!

Other than hoping their is strength in numbers I need specific plans. Tomorrow my sis and I are going to go for a walk or a hike or just workout together. The rest of the week I need to get at least 20 minutes of exercise in each day to make up for everything I ate this weekend. And I really need to eat my vegetables!

I’ll report in for the last time this year on Friday. Until then…

Wish me luck!

Timing

Rae is cruising in the Pacific with her husband and shipful of strangers. I’m sure we’ll get to hear all about it next Monday! She tried to compose a blog post before she left, but ran out of time as she got ready for her cruise. We’ll excuse her for a vacation that was planned months before I beguiled her into blogging.

As long as I’m here making excuses I figured I’d share a little something. It’s that Time of the month for me. I know I’m not the only one that craves fat and carbs (preferably sweet ones), right? And during this Time…that’s all I want. I was lurking in my pantry and tried to convince my husband we should have pre-packaged cupcakes for dinner. Luckily, he has more willpower than me (must be why he’s so skinny) and gave me the serious voice when he said, “You can’t have that.” He even helped me (ok, he did it all) get a real dinner made.

After dinner, I was back in the pantry looking for chocolate. Why is chocolate so good during this Time? Thankfully, my friend, Tami, introduced me to this delicious, healthy alternative….

Chocolate, almonds, hardly any sugar…Brilliant! Had myself a little handful and gladly left the pantry. As for the rest of the week…

Wish me luck!