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Who is this?

Kris? Who in tar-nations is Kris?

Yeah, ok it’s been awhile. Alright, a long while.

So what have I been up to?

Whelping 10 puppies.              Planning a community outreach event for our church. Over 500 people came.


Having another sleep study, changing meds, fighting with insurance, being frustrated!

Graduating my oldest from high school.

Dealing with a family member dying and hubby going to TN to help take care of him.

Hubby going to the night shift and becoming like a single parent again.

Living life.

And getting FAT!

It’s like I never lost weight. It’s all back and I hate it!

Going into this month, my boss (pastor) came to me asking if I would be interested in a gym membership. There was an opportunity to get a corporate rate at his gym. They needed 5 and after he and his wife, the worship pastor and his wife, they needed one more. I’m not sure what reaction he was expecting, I think he just asked me out of courtesy, but the look of surprise was unmistakable as I blurted out “YES!” without any hesitation at all.

It’s conveniently located blocks from work (the church) and they have great machines. The locker room is the nicest I’ve seen in a gym with a changing room, so insecure people like me can get dressed. Although, I have been the only one in the locker room every time I have been there so far.  What I don’t like is the check-in.

It’s an easy tag on my key ring that I just scan and go on my way. On a computer screen pops up my picture and a lovely “Hello Kris” greeting. Under it though, are the mocking words, “This is your 4th time here.”

Thank You, Thank You very much for reminding me how hard it is to get back in the habit. That I’ve had the membership almost a month and have only made it there 4 times. That 4 times is not enough to see results. I feel like it laughs at me when I check in. Four is better than none though right? The important thing is that I am there. (I have to keep telling myself that!)

The first visit was brutal. Half hour of cardio was not happening, it still isn’t but it’s getting easier. Today I even tried doing some running. I’m sure I looked like a blob, but it was encouraging that I could go faster starting out than I did the last time I started training. Guess I haven’t completely lost all the good effects. Each visit has gotten a little bit easier though. Soon it’ll be the 14th visit, then 40th, then 400th, right?! I’ve just got to get in the habit again.

In the meantime. Enjoy this video. This is so me and I have had every one of these thoughts!


New Year’s Resolutions

Go in one year and out the other!

Here we are at the end of 2012. Are you thinking of your new resolutions? How did you do with the ones you made last year? I am ending the year weighing less than I started by 20 pounds and wearing a size 16 jean, and having competed in a mud run obstacle race. Not where I wanted to be at this time, but better than I was and having accomplished things I never dreamed of.

I did not start out my new birthday year with a workout. I had been fighting a sickness when I last blogged and hopeful I could beat it. Illness had other plans and I celebrated Christmas hacking up a lung without a voice. Best laid plans right. I’d like to say I will ring in the new year with a workout, but as I sit here and think of all I need to do and the plans we have I don’t think it will happen. It is still on my “To do” list though.

I do want to end this year with a huge “Thank you!” to Miss AB! Because you started this blog I have had the accountability to follow through with my goals to the best of my ability. I have surprised myself this year with what I can do. I never would have even considered a 5k let alone an obstacle course had it not been for you. And here I am starting the next year by putting race dates on the calendar!

It’s very hard in the beginning to understand that the whole idea is not to beat the other runners. Eventually you learn that the competition is against the little voice inside you that wants you to quit.- George Sheehan

For Christmas I gave my husband a gift from his bucket list. A half day zip-line tour and surprised him again with the fact that I was going with him. I never would have done it before. There are weight limits for zip-lines and I have either exceeded them or been close enough that I was too embarrassed to try. I have avoided many things in my life due to my weight. I am on my way to enjoying life more with my husband and kids and getting off the sidelines.

You have also been a dear friend outside of this blog. Thank you for everything!

My new goals for 2013……

Lose more weight this year than I did in 2012.

Read more books than I did in 2012.

Run a 5K in under 30 minutes.

Have more dates with my husband than I did in 2012.

I hope you all begin the new year with your loved ones, ready for great blessings this new year!

Happy New Year’s Scalematters!

We all have dreams, in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline and effort.
-Jesse Owens

Not there yet!


Photo: For some people it's about getting 1st place at a Spartan Race, for others it's about finishing the race.</p><br /><p>Challenge Yourself.  Challenge Your Friends.


217.2 Official weigh in this week.

I only got in 2 workouts this week. I’m starting to get frustrated with my consistency, but I saw this picture and realized how true it is. No matter how little I do it is still more than doing nothing. It also means if I want to get there sooner, to my goal of being healthy and thin, then I need to do more! Double edged sword. hurumph!

Because I have too much free time, HA!, I have taken on another job at my church. It is going to take a lot of time at first as there is much “housecleaning” to do. This will make for some creative scheduling to get the gym in. This may not be so bad as I have been nursing a foot injury. An injury that in my hubby’s medical training would sideline me should I go to the doctor. There is much pain when I move it  certain ways so I try to not move it that way. LOL! I am very afraid that should I be told to take it easy, and running would be out, then I will take it a step farther and do nothing. An excuse is all I need. I know from past behavior.

I wish motivation was easier to come by.

Maybe if I have a plan and can do something where I truly feel like I am “working” I could ease up without just flat-out stopping.

Anyone have some ideas? Swimming laps are out as there isn’t any lap pool around. Maybe spinning?

Have to think about that.

How are you all doing?

An ounce at a time

Movement!  That’s what I’ve been looking for.  I’m finally seeing some, albeit, one ounce at a time.  I’m still happy to report that this morning my scale smiled 165.8.  It’s a slow go, but at least those pounds are going.

Another milestone for me recently is my running.  I actually ran 21 of my 30 minutes at the gym.  Now hold your applause…I know many of you are runners.  I am not, so this is good stuff for me. I’m running in the Color Run in a few weeks – a 5K and then the Turkey Trot 5K on, well, Thanksgiving.  I’m hoping to run the whole race, so that’s my goal…as well as continuing my ounce by ounce dismissal of fat.

Haven’t had a drop of candy and we’re half way through October.  Holding strong.  How about you?  If you slipped, and munched on a goodie or two, don’t give up so fast.  Try again!   Remember your goal and I promise this will help you through some of the toughest months of the year.  

Jane!! Get me off this crazy thing!!!!!

Do any of your kids know that quote? Youth today. So sad!

What an emotional mess it has been. The bad thing about technology is that no matter how hard you try to word something to be taken one way, someone will always think you mean it a different way. Sarcasm, joking, genuine concern or sorrow, whatever it is never quite comes across that way. Does it?

I was never a “blogger” “bloggie” “blogist” that certainly doesn’t sound right. Hmmm Anyway, didn’t read ’em, didn’t write ’em. Now it is my crack! My motivation comes from Drink, Run, Yoga and Run Fat Chick Run! I wish I was hip enough to know how to make it so you can click on those and go to their blogs. I chant “Run Fat Chick Run” in my head as I run. How can you not adore that title? LOL! I loved having  something to read each days from the ladies here. Now I am freaking out if my lone dealer (AB) is a day late with my fix! Co-dependent enough for ya? “Don’t ever leave me!!” (Said whinely, dripping in sarcasm.)

Now to the reason I have gathered you all here today. I have withheld my dose of crack to you for long enough. I am tired of waiting for some pictorial proof of my accomplishment. After 2500 pics posted I am getting annoyed and I ain’t getting any younger and more forgetful by the day. (I blame this on children and even my husband a little bit.) So I had better recall my race while I still can.

When last we saw me, I was staring out over a hill…………

Let me not gloss over this. The race was held at an off-road park and the race was built in the area that is too steep and rocky for anything but the most extreme 4×4 races. The route was very strategic in that it dropped you down into the canyon and you had to climb to get back out. Little did I know what I was getting into. I looked at races before and after and most were held in areas with mostly flat terrain, maybe some rolling hills and only some mud here and there. One mud race only had it at the very end. Most had maybe 12 obstacles. Even the Warrior Dash. Big Dog had 22 and that was after having to scrap a few at the last minute. I was lucky to be standing next to a woman who had done 5 mud runs this year alone and proceeds to tell me that this by far looks to be the hardest one. Craptastic!!

Well, here we go! Gun fires and down the hill we trotted and immediately back up only to make a sharp turn to go back down and it happens. It is steep and in trying to not go careening down the hill  uncontrollably my leg hyperextends from the hip. I felt a sharp pain that shot down my leg. I actually thought it was my knee. I had been having some knee pain leading up to the race and dosed up on Ibuprofen before the race in anticipation of it hurting. I think between that, the adrenaline and sheer determination to finish was all that kept me from realizing how bad I was hurt.

The mud started early. Before you were out over one bog there was another. More than once I was stuck, sinking and just laughing as I tried rocking back and forth trying to free a leg. What else could I do? At one the volunteer praised me for being the first to make it out with my shoe still on. It was at the 4th  obstacle that we saw the first victim have to be taken out by ATV. She just couldn’t do it. When we finished there were already 4 rescues and only one was an actual injury. We were the second wave with 1200 people who ran it. I don’t know how many total had to be taken out. Watching her get an easy ride out and seeing what I still had to endure, I will tell you I envied her a little bit.

I had thought I would have the same experience as AB’s mud run. She talked about the spectators all along the route, cheering and feeding your adrenaline. Motivating you on when you think you can’t take another step. Because of the rough terrain, there was no one except the volunteers at each obstacle and most of them just gave you a half-hearted “Good Job.” It made me glad my hubby was there after all. I was still ready to quit many a time and only kept going because what else was I going to do. I would not be rescued. I was very annoyed at the volunteers who told us we were half way there when we were sooooo not. Or the water guy who said it was all down hill from there. LIAR!!

Besides the constant up and down, the obstacles included a 40ft cargo net climb, 3 cliff climbs, two with the aid of a rope and only one of which where the rope hung low enough that you could grab it from the bottom. A 40lb cinder block that you pulled through a mud pit. Piles of tires, walls, seesaws, jumping across a mud pit on stumps of wood. All of which were so slimy with mud, plus all the mud on your shoes, made me sure I was going to break my neck. Pits that you would jump into and claw your way out of on the other slide and hope you don’t slide back down, which happened more than once.

There were areas where you would be running along a dry creek bed with sheer rock walls going up on each side and you would come to an obstacle and although they said you could go around any obstacle, there was no other way to go. One such area was the logs. Actually fallen trees they laid across the canyon and then filled the area with water for mud. This was one of two areas where I liked the volunteers. They were young (20’s) men standing on the ridge above us. There wasn’t anywhere else to watch. We hit the area the same time as another group of women. They were telling us ladies how good we looked in mud. How sexy the whole thing was, which my hubby wholly agreed with, too loudly to my embarrassment. I am sure it was aimed at the fitter ladies but it sure made me smile.

I got stuck on the suspension bridge. The slats of wood were spaced rather far apart for someone with a deficiency in the length of their legs. As we came to it hubby, 6foot 2inches hubby, thought it was no big deal to just run down the middle. Until he thought about his short wife. He would tell me later that he didn’t know how I was going to do it. In the middle the wood beams were the farthest apart and was where I ended up in the near splits trying to steady the swaying while attempting to get some forward momentum. Hubby thought I was going to fall, but some how I made it across.

The very last thing to do was climb out and cross the finish line. At least here up the smooth, solid rock they thought we deserved to have the rope the whole way. Thank you Big Dog! It sunk in a little later as I was waiting for a garden hose to try to get a majority of the mud off, and I was staring back out over the course as to what I had just done and the tears started.

I learned that I have more upper strength than I ever thought. That I truly do hate mud. That I need to remember sunscreen! Blisters, I was burned so bad. And I think I kind of like racing. Just for personal accomplishment, no record-breaking here folks!

After getting home the anguish of a torn hip flexor sunk in. I could barely move. I have had to go back to the beginning of my training programs and ease back to where I was, but it is awesome that I am doing it at a faster speed. Enough so that I am thinking 10 minute miles by the Turkey Trot! Insanity!

Hubby has already made plans for next years race. He is still not convinced of doing the Tough Mudder with me. That is on my fitness bucket list, but we’ll see.

So there you have it. Perhaps some day I will have pictures too!


Roller coaster ride.

Emotions are a crazy ride!!

So this is it. Next Sunday I will be post race.

I am glad that this is a VERY busy week for me and will not give me much time to think about what is coming on Saturday. This is a really good thing since this past week has been ridiculous!

So I left Sunday vowing to get a better attitude about this race. I started strong Monday until that night. It went something like this…

Girl has a puppy.

Puppy gets a hold of shoe.

Girl chases puppy.

Puppy zigs, girl zigs, knee zags!

Sharp, intense pain! The rest of the night spent with ice, elevation and hardly being able to walk. Seriously! Now? When I am just starting to get a good attitude about the race.

I got up Tuesday able to move, but with pain. I decided to try to walk it out. Two easy miles in the morning and two at night. Wednesday I was feeling better. Kept it a little easier  again and was feeling optimistic.

Thursday the race coordinators sent out some info and found out that it was decided to change the course (harder, little longer) and stop giving out info on the obstacles. They thought it would be so much better to step up to the starting line and have the anticipation of not knowing what lay ahead. Um NO! I am a planner. I plan out our vacations. Right down to the order we go on rides at Disney. It’s a sickness I know! I need to know what I am in for. Yes, I psyche myself out but I also try to figure out how I am going to do it. I was not digging this! Then I saw AB’s sneaky post from the night before. Such a great movie and I had totally forgotten about that scene. Sooooo needed that!  I announced to hubby when he got home from work that I knew how to get through the course….. BLINDFOLDED! I explained where my epiphany came from and he remembered the scene. It worked so well for the death crawl, it would work for me! He told me I was crazy and that I would not be blindfolded. I tried to tell him what a great test of trust in a marriage it would be and how good it could be for our relationship, but he wasn’t having it. Harrumph! Oh well!

I did feel better though. We are stronger than we think. More capable than we know!

Since I tried to take it easy this past week, I decided to do a 5k this morning. The rest of the week will be quiet from lack of time and wanting to be ready for Saturday. I chose the hilliest route I could. There is such a difference between the hills on a treadmill or elliptical and the real earthen kind. My knee was aching and I ran less than half of it. At one point I was crying. Not from pain but because my husband will be doing this race with me. I will be holding him back. The man’s legs come to my waist. Just walking with me is slow for his strides. Then there are the obstacles. I do not want to fail in front of him. He’s been taking notice lately of my efforts and telling me how proud he is. Honestly, it’s putting more pressure on me for this race. I am nowhere near as in shape as I want to be even though it is tons more than where I was. I really just want to tell him to do his thing and I will find him at the finish line. I am so afraid that he is just going to be embarrassed as I struggle on a wall, cargo net, up a hill and whatever other insanity there is. I don’t want to let him down.

I am such a mess.

When I signed up for the race I thought how great it would be if I could be below 220 for the race. It was a lofty goal for the time frame and I didn’t really think I could hit it. I just thought how nice it would be. I weighed myself three times today. Hubby thought it was because the scale was not my friend. I just couldn’t believe what it said. All three times it was the same 219.8! I am holding onto that achievement and hoping it helps propel me forward past my fears this week.

Maybe I will have some pictures to show next week of my spa day at the mud pits. LOL!

One foot in front of the other ladies (and gents), keep moving forward!

Fireworks, Sunburns and Snakes…..Oh My!

Where do we begin. The 4th of July on a Wednesday completely threw off my week. I hope you all had a lovely holiday and didn’t indulge too much. I only got in 3 cardio days and 1 day with weights. I came in at 226.4 down just 0.4lbs from last week, but beggars can’t be choosers.

I am registered for the……


Big Dog Brag Mud Run on August 4th. I am really hoping I get into the first wave at 930am and avoid the hottest part of the day. I’m not sure I will be smiling like this guy, but I will be muddy!

We have lived in our house for 4 years and hubby and I were just talking a couple of weeks ago how we have not seen any snakes, ever. We live in the boonies, everyone has at least an acre and we are next to a cattle ranch. Perfect snake country. Each neighbor on either side have had encounters, but we have had none. We jinxed ourselves and it started with hubby having to extract a bull snake from the ER waiting (where he works) room. Then I took the puppy outside only to sit down next to a 6 foot bull snake. We then came home from the fireworks to find a rattler making a dinner of a bunny. I am not thrilled with snakes to put it mildly!

Thursday I decided some yard work needed to be done. I spent 3 hours mowing.  Were the weeds and grass needing a cut, yes. Did I need to go over it and over it lowering the lawnmower blade until you see bare ground and making it easy to see any creepy, crawly thing, maybe not. Was it a little obsessive to start mowing other people’s yards because I thought their slightly longer greenery was a gateway for snakes into ours, perhaps, but I am just going to call it being neighborly! It’s more than 3 days later and I still have a lovely crimson color. Yes, I put on sunscreen. For some reason sunscreen has never worked for me, from when I was young. I have tried different brands and SPF’s, but more than 1/2 an hour in the sun and I am doomed.

It was a lovely day today to run outside. I better get used to it before the 4th! It was nice and cloudy and in the 60’s. I didn’t let my self-defeating thoughts talk me out of going out nice and early before church. It was pretty nice and I got in 2.46 miles before stopping. Did I run the whole time, um no, but a good, sweaty workout and a motivating way to start my week.

I have been trying to cater my workouts  toward what I will be facing in a few weeks. I know I need more upper body strength and climbing work. Now that I have registered, I know the time is going to just fly by and I will wish I had more time!

Any one else have races coming up?



“If you don’t take care of your body, where are you going to live?” ~Unknown

Southern Comfort

Traveling in  car is hard. Traveling across country in a car with children is harder. Traveling across country in a car with small children and staying with inlaws is…..well…….stressful. Mapquest stats tells us we will be in a car 68 hours when it is said and done. Detour, traffic, construction, and getting lost has added 4 hours to that already. What were we thinking?

I did not get a workout in on Thursday. It was a 12+ hour travel day. Friday I got up and went for my jog. Hhhhheeeeeelllllloooooo Arkansas. I had forgotten what the humidity is like. ( I remember I didn’t like it) But, when you are sucking wind you realize the difference in Colorado dry air. Like breathing soup here. My legs didn’t want to move. I was stiff from being in the car all day. I had to walk more than run. I choice a hilly route through the neighborhood though. Saturday- travel. A 12+ hr trip turned into 15. UGH! Sunday- we are in the Smoky Mountains. Stepping out of the cabin I had two choices. Downhill or up. I chose up. I can not give justice to the steepness. I could touch my toes at the angle I was. There was no running going to be done. I came to a fork and again chose up and repeated the choice at the next fork. I kept telling myself “A little further. It’s faster coming down so I have to keep going up to get the full time.” I tried to jog coming back, but there were only a few areas that weren’t so steep that I wasn’t afraid I would go tumbling head long down the mountain. My legs are sore and a knee is hurting. Thanks to going the wrong way at a fork, I went farther/longer than planned. Perhaps at the wedding tonight I will dance my booty off.

Food- I chose side salads at the stops during traveling. Haven’t drank nearly enough water. The hard part about staying with family is that it is harder to say no when they cook you very filling  food. I am not sure the south knows the meaning of non-breaded, non-smothered. BBQ is a way of life. I am hoping when we get to our rental in Florida and I am in charge of the meals it will be easier. The food is just sitting in me like a brick. Was it always this heavy when we lived in these parts? Salad doesn’t seem so less satisfying now.

I must go get ready for a wedding, in a barn, with a full on BBQ. I will have to walk up the mountain again tomorrow!

Happy Birthday to my inspiration and blogger buddy AB! You are an amazing woman!!

Crutches? We don’t need no stinkin’ crutches!

I hope you are getting some relaxation and family time in this long weekend and not going too crazy at the BBQ’s and graduation celebrations.

I survived bathing suit shopping, although I do not wish to do it again anytime soon.

The side effects are getting better.

Something someone said to me a while ago has been running through my head. People lose weight when they run outside.

What’s the difference? Besides being inside, not having anyone stare at you as they drive by, and never reaching that tree you’re staring at through the window, what does the treadmill have that the road/trail doesn’t?

A crutch!

As much as I try to convince myself that holding the sides doesn’t change anything, perhaps it does. People running outside do not have anything to hold on to. Nothing to “help” them get to the end. So I decided to try it. No not running outside. I am not quite brave enough to subject the neighbors to that sight. I was not going to hold on, rest my hands, check my pulse, whatever other justification might be used.

The first time was quite an eye opener. I started with  a cocky attitude of  “Seriously, it won’t make a difference.” By the halfway point of my program I was dying. Sweating like I had not done before. I caught myself several times raise my hands, you know to check my pulse, but stopped short. The second run or the 3rd, 4th, and 5th for that matter, was not any easier than the first and I did check my pulse once, but was very conscious of  how long my hands were there.

I also tried something I saw a couple other runners doing. I took my sweat towel and covered the display board. No more using the time as a crutch. Knowing I just have “x” amount of time left. Or the speed crutch. I can’t go faster than “x.” I just hit the up arrow (which is not covered) until it’s a good challenge. I have peaked a couple of times and have surprised myself with how fast I was going. No 10-minute miles yet, just faster than I ever let myself get when I could see the display.

I am stronger than I think, more capable than I think. I need to stop the negative thinking of what I think I can’t do. Easier said than done, I know. I psyche myself out way too much.

I did my weigh-in on Wednesday not really expecting anything since it’s the week leading up to “that” time. Really how many weeks out of the month can we use that excuse? Anyway, the scale was my friend. I nearly cried when I saw 230.4. Down 5lbs from the week before. Could it be that I am finally on my way down the number scale. Could all the blood, blisters, sweat, doctor appointments, nightly torture, and tears FINALLY be paying off?!

Time will tell I guess. It has certainly boosted my motivation and made me pretty happy and with a resolve to not screw it up on my vacation. We leave this week.

My plan is to make good food choices. This may be the hardest with family reunions over meals, a wedding, 50th wedding anniversary and birthday celebration. Let’s face it, who doesn’t indulge on vacation? Isn’t that what they are for?

I will still workout, even run. OUTSIDE! Gasp, I know! I am preparing myself  mentally that I know no one. No one knows me. I will never see any of the people who live or are staying around us again. I am kind of curious to see if running at sea level really is different from running at a higher elevation. Our rental in Florida has a pool. I plan to swim. A lot!

I want to come home and have not gained, maybe even losing weight!

Not sure I will be blogging until I get back. Wish me luck!

Longer toes, torture devices, and bugs!

First, I have a question for the runners out there. About a month ago I got new running shoes, Asics, and the salesgal put me in a 1/2 size larger than what I have been in. Now before this I was working in a pair of Nikes. When I ran I felt my toes hitting the end of the shoes. I hadn’t worn them since getting the new shoes. When running around I have just been throwing on an old broken in (literally my toes poke out of holes in the ends) Saucony tennies. All of that to get to this, I didn’t get to the gym much this week and was working out at home and wanted to save my running shoes for running. I put on the Nikes and just stood up and found my feet were uncomfortably squished. Like my feet had elongated, or my toes at least. Is this normal? Maybe the running is stretching out my feet? Any ideas would be great? It was just weird.

I hate my CPAP! I hate my CPAP! Have I told you I hate my CPAP?

It’s interesting AB brought up doing drastic things in her Friday post. I had been thinking all week how much determination it has been taking me to put that mask on every night.

The one on the right is supposed to be the most comfortable. They both look medieval if you ask me. It has been just over a month and I am still not use to them.  The sleep meds help to make it a large portion through the night and occasionally I do feel like I have gotten some rest, but I hate them! I see the doctor in a couple of weeks, maybe something will get better. It is supposed to make a huge difference so I will keep it up. Drastic indeed! (at least for me)

I would bathe in sugar-water and sit outside at dusk everyday!

It’s a new week. Time to forget about what I didn’t get done last week and to make goals for what I want to get done this week. And DO IT!

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