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Small victories

I went to the market today. My favorite carbonated beverage was on sale. It’s a healthier option than other sodas so every once in a while I indulge (which is a stark difference than a few years ago when I drank more soda than water). Last time I brought it home I drank one can a day for almost 2 weeks. Self restraint?

Maybe. But! I didn’t lose any weight in that time frame.

Today I walked past My Soda three times and each time I almost talked myself into buying it.

Almost.

Thankfully, I overcame my “natural (wo)man”, reminded myself that I need every little help I can get in shedding this weight, and did not put them in my cart.

I’m sodaless.

Now it’s 9:45 and I am seriously in my bed. What is happening? Why all the willpower? Quick someone bring me a pint of New York Super Fudge Chunk and we’ll find out just how strong I can be.

Never mind.

I’m too sleepy to get a spoon.

Sleep tight. Wish me luck (and more of this super power as the days go by)!

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A Fishy Tail

Not long ago I read this and found some comfort in it. I am on the whale side of this story and it cheered me up to read the analogy of how sad it would be to be a mermaid and all the good things about the whale. I was feeling rather low at the time and it helped.

 

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

“Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I’d rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.
By: Delphine Fieberg

 

Truth be told though, I want to be a mermaid. I would love to be the one that gets a second glance at the gym and it be because I look good  not like a joke. I want to go to the store and not be nauseous trying on clothes. Be able to just pull something off the rack, in the skinny section, and have it just slide right on! I would love to say my pant size is a single digit number. I want my husband to lust after me not just love me. I don’t want to feel ashamed to be naked in front of him. I want to feel sexy and actually look it too. That’s the truth of it! Is it healthy, no. I know all the “Be happy with your body” , “Like yourself” self-esteem, self-image therapy. I know it and try to do it, but it isn’t easy when you are looked down upon at the gym, when society tells you you’re wrong, the doctors tell you to loose weight, and  you’re husband doesn’t look at you the same anymore.

 

I know skinny people have image issues as well, but I have been thinner and I have been heavier and it was much easier to be thinner. It’s easier to be a mermaid than a whale.

 

It seems I am not alone in it being “that” week. The day of my weigh-in I knew it wouldn’t be good. I felt fat and my rings weren’t budging on my fingers. It wasn’t a bad week. I made it to the gym and watched what I ate. I slept horribly though and could have/should have drank more water. That is a little crazy since water is all I drink. I do not like coffee or tea, never been a soda gal and juices are only occasionally had at breakfast. I did get a rare date night with hubby and had sushi and shared a dessert. Alas the scale was not my friend though.

 

This morning I pulled a pair of jeans out of the dryer and put them on. Usually I would say I pulled, shimmied, and forced them on. Not today. Right on up and no problem zipping and buttoning them on. RIGHT OUT OF THE DRYER! Plus I could breathe easily, walk, and bend down. As I was doing my hair and makeup I even caught myself tugging them up. I can’t say they were falling down or I need a smaller size, but it is a small victory that I am focusing on rather than on my blah feeling.

 

This week more water, more sleep.

 

No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everyone still on the couch! Author Unknown

 

Cravings

I’ll admit that I was naughty this week in that I didn’t track every single day every single thing I ate. A weight watchers no no. However, I’m pretty sure that I didn’t eat more than my points allowance for a day. I am that familiar with the program. And even if I wasn’t sure how many points I was eating I was cutting my portions down quite considerably from what I would have eaten before I started weight watchers, so I consider it a success.

This week was hard craving wise. I can’t handle open bowls of candy right in front of me. We went over to my in-laws and made gingerbread haunted houses. Oh my torture! Especially after cream and cheese soups and rolls. (I may need to figure out what to do about eating there. I don’t want to blow all my weekly points by eating Sunday dinner there. Any recommendations would be nice.)  I ate a few sixlets and luckily candy corn offers no temptation to me at all.  Those were the closest bowls to me. I said no to the ice cream and had one pumpkin cookie. I was proud of myself.  But ever since then I’m like craving little candys. Did you know half a bag of peanut butter M&M’s is only 3 points? I find more and more three points used for candy, when they should be used for dressing and croutons on a salad. I heard once that your body craves what it needs. There is no nutritional benefit from candy. So why am I craving them?

I don’t know if any of you use Pinterest, but I am hooked being the crafty DIY girl that I am. (Have I mentioned monday is my two-year olds birthday and I’m making everything including party hats with mickey mouse ears, cupcake wrappers, and decorations to name a few?).  Back to my point. I was on pinterest the other day when I saw someone post this awesome chart about what you are craving, what it means your body is lacking, and a healthy alternative to eat.  I thought it was awesome so I’m posting it here. . 

It  originates here.  So according to this chart, I need to find some nuts, legumes or fruits. Awesome, because fruits are 0 points on weight watchers.  What do you crave? What can you try to replace it with?

Guest post: Kim, part two

The Big How?
Do any of you watch The Biggest Loser? My friend and I were talking about if we went on that show what would be our back story. HOW? How did we get to this point?
Well to be honest I don’t know. I finally feel like I am the size that I felt like I was in high school. I still remember hitting puberty and going up a couple sizes in clothes rather rapidly. My mom told me it was ok, my older sister put on weight too but she joined tack and field in high school and her body was evening out.  I heard you are fat and unless you run your heart out like your older sister, you’ll stay fat. I HATE running so I decided I was fat. (I was not fat! I wasn’t as skinny as my mom but I don’t think I was any bigger than my sister was in high school. Now I look at pictures from high school and wish I was that size again).
I was blissful in high school. I never had to worry about boys. I knew none of them would like me. I was fat. We were all just friends. I had some amazing friends in high school and lucky for me we are still friends today. Our kids even get along great. Some of my girl friends were/are terribly skinny and petite. (even after pregnancy!) I was smart enough for me so between having great friends and getting good grades my self esteem was high enough.
This is where stress and worry entered my life in a big way though. My mom has been bedridden since I was in middle school so I took care of my younger sisters and worried about my mom’s health constantly. I also had normal high school questions like “What college are you going to?” and “How are you going to pay for it?”
I graduated with my degree in psychology and then I actually married one of my friends from high school. We never dated in high school. But when I did start dating, I started eating out. My nemesis is cooking. We don’t get along. If the recipe isn’t easy I have to plan an entire day to attempt it. I hate cooking and often by the end of the day I have a major headache and am exhausted. That is when we’ll go to Taco Bell and get tacos, to Wendy’s and get hamburgers or just order in a pizza. To the tune of three times a week our meal is eating out. (Not always cuz I’m lazy but also because I’ve run out of time to cook and the two year old needs food NOW, or because we are running errands out or because we are with family that wants to eat out.)
What else is there at restaurants? SODA! I love me some Pepsi. The real stuff. It not only tastes better but I have figured out aspartame gives me headaches. After I had my daughter I loaded up on the Pepsi. Sometimes I would have what I called a “2 Pepsi Day” which meant I didn’t sleep much, my daughter was having a rough day and I “needed” the caffeine to make it through the day.
In short, I never learned how to eat properly. I raised myself and cooked a good portion of my family’s meals. I remember getting pizza and fries for lunch at school and am wondering why that was even an option! Some of the recipes we have in our family’s weekly meal rotation need adjustments to make them healthier. I need to get active in making my own meals and in getting workouts and activities with my daughter worked into my schedule. I also need to lower the stress and cortisol. Just calm down mind! (the saying “it’s easier said than done” comes to mind here)
Please tell me I’m not the only one wrestling with these issues because I don’t want to be alone. I plan on sharing what I figure out with you, so hopefully some of you would like the info!
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