Monthly Archives: August 2012

Abandonment Issues

I started this blog with friends, but I was the writer (I use the term loosely). I encouraged some of them to just type what they felt when they were nervous, because I was afraid to blog alone. They did their friendly duty, got excited about the new venture, and wrote their posts beautifully.

Now I’m quite comfortable sharing my thought processes, stuff you never wanted to know,  the numbers on my scale, and much more. It seems, however, that my friends have better things to do than (over)share about their fitness goals, failures and successes.

I’m totally fine with that.

No, really. I don’t feel like I’m the only person struggling this week because I gave in to sugar cravings while I was PMSing. I don’t mind that no one else seems to want to talk about how the numbers on their scale are exactly the same this week as last week. It doesn’t bother me at all that those busy friends haven’t even commented on my posts in forever lately let alone shared their own stories.

Honestly. I’m  ok.


I might feel better if I knew that someone else was struggling against their cravings for soda or if another friend (or two) was trying to get back into the groove of a new school year. Knowing that someone else also saw their reflection from a few yards away and realized she is not the shape she pictures in her head might improve my outlook, too.

But like I said…I’m fine.

This week I’ll read what Kris posts and give her another thumbs up for her awesomeness. The rest of the week I’ll avoid sugar while I try to figure out how to productively spend my time now that all my kids are in school all day. And if no one else posts about their holiday weekend and how it affected their goals I’m sure I can find something else to read. I did just borrow the Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society from a friend. When I don’t get any comments on this post I’ll just pretend I’m sweating from my eyes in spin class next week. It’s going to be a great week. Don’t you worry about me…at all.

Wish me luck…?


Has it really been that long?

I missed my first post last week and was in danger of missing another.

I have been among the walking dead. Ear infection(double), sinus infection, cough, vomiting……The color of my snot has been a lovely topic of conversation. Gotta love being married to a medical person.

I am pretty sure the anatomy books are wrong about how many lungs we have because I have hacked up more than 2 this week! I am so ready to sleep through the night. I am sure my husband would like to not be awoken by “Typhoid Mary” all night long as well!

Reading AB’s post I realized I as well have not worked out for 10 days just for different reasons. The illness came on before last weekend and just hangs on!! I kept thinking about doing something. I knew a run was out. I would just be bent over coughing up my 999th lung. Pilates? Hmmmm laying on the ground for a majority of it with all the afore-mentioned snot draining to the back of my throat or just giving my head an even more pressurized feeling? Maybe not. A walk hasn’t even happened. What do I do with all the kleenex?

I think hope I am on the tail end. I am even contemplating trying a workout tomorrow.

At least being sick agrees with the scale. Back to 219.

Now if only I can get back to the land of the living!

“Healthy” is Not a Bad Word

My mid-week decision to stop eating sugar seems to have made all the difference. I did pretty well this week! The day after my no sugar decision I came home from grocery shopping with some of my favorite healthy eats…

Being prepared with healthy foods I enjoy makes a big difference. The past few days I have also done well at not making exceptions to my no sugar rule, exceptions like “…but I’m at Disneyland” or “…it’s late and I haven’t eaten yet” or “…but I organized this ice cream social” or “…hey look, there’s a delicious cookie within reach”. The other thing that helped was my friend, Heather. She volunteered to keep me accountable and I’ve been reporting in to her (and she to me for that matter). Knowing that someone is paying attention to my sugar intakes ensures that I pay more attention to what I’m eating.

I ate better this week and did good at skipping treats, but my workouts…not so great. For several reasons I didn’t get to a spin/cycling class and I haven’t gone to Mandy’s Friday workout in too long. I went ten days between my last 2 workouts. Yesterday at Mandy’s class was so much more difficult than usual…and I think she may have been going easy on us! I was prepared to step on the scale (a day late) and be disappointed again because of my lack of exercise these past 2 weeks. Instead I was pleased….

I lost FOUR POUNDS this week!!!

The morale of my story this week is: It matters what you eat! Sometimes I think we (well, I) pretend that as long as I/we exercise then we’re doing fine. My month or so of gaining weight shows that is not the case. It’s the basic principle of calories in versus calories out. Simple as that. Miserable as that.

My semester starts on Monday and my boys go back to school, too. I’m already trying to plan out my workouts and packing lunches. Stupid planning. Losing weight is so much more work than gaining weight, but I suppose if it was easy there’d be a lot less fat people. I’m working on decreasing the number of fat people by one.

Wish me luck!

Love it, Hate it, Can I Live Without it?

I’m 41, married, a mother to three kids and I live in my own mom’s house. It didn’t happen on purpose and we’ve been here years (YEARS). Some days I have hope (or faith or both) that we’ll get our own home and others I feel stuck. Today is a stuck day. Don’t get me wrong. There are some great things about being here. This is not one of them…

She (Mom) came home from a weekend away for a family funeral and this is what was on the counter when I woke up. She cannot throw food away. It might be a physical impossibility for her. She loves treats, too, and no matter how often I ask her not to bring things like this home….she ignores me and does it anyway.

Oh my mother. How I love her. How she drives me crazy.

This isn’t a blog post to complain about my mother. It’s about all the dang sugar! I have given in to the sugar too much lately. I need a clean slate. I feel totally addicted. I choose easy, grabable (it’s a word), food filled with refined sugar to snack on, to replace an actual lunch, to fill me when I’m tired….need I go on?

I’m diabetic for crying out loud! Iwasn’t even eating candy a few months ago and now I don’t seem to know how to eat without it being something sweet. After seeing the many treats this morning I decided I need to go on a sugar fast. I don’t know for how long. I’m afraid to put a number on it and discourage myself so much that I give up before I start. So I’m doing it for today. Tomorrow is another day. I pray for the courage to stick to it tomorrow.

Wish me luck.

My 6 year old wouldn’t let me workout today

No, really.

Who can say, “No” to a boy who is growing up too fast and wants you to stay home and “play the tickle game” instead of leaving him behind? Last week his position would have been different. Last week his friends hadn’t started back to school yet. His school doesn’t start for another 9 days (oh, yes, we are BOTH counting the days), but all his buddies from the workout whose mom’s are there too…they started school this week. He lost his motivation for motivating me to workout.

Who hasn’t felt like that? No one is there to play/run/lift weights/workout/swim with…why go? Friends make all the difference. If it wasn’t for two of my friends, Rae and Aims as you know them, then I would not have had the courage to start this blog or to really try to lose weight.

If it wasn’t for my friend Mandy teaching that free workout a couple of times a week then I wouldn’t be losing weight. If it wasn’t for my friends Tami & Charlotte then I wouldn’t have ever tried a spin/cycling class, let alone gone back regularly.

Do you need a friend? I posted before about being nice to the skinny chick. Now I’m telling you to go ask her how she does it and invite yourself try her method with her next time. Make a friend or increase an existing friendship. I am telling you, knowing that someone is planning on you working out with them makes all the difference. Having someone to chat (commiserate) with when you feel like your legs are going to fall off and you are sweating from every pore makes it more bearable, too.

I am a scaredy cat when it comes to trying new workouts, but I can do it if someone who has done it before is there to encourage, explain, and (*gasp*) enjoy it with. Charlotte is young enough that I could be her mother. She’s also fit and would exercise  for 6 hours every day if she could. She doesn’t let me off the hook and I love it! Working out with her makes me feel like I really can lose the weight. She’s going back to college this week and I won’t get to workout with her for a few months. I’ll miss you, Charlotte!

My advice – if working out is where you seem to need help: get a workout buddy…or 2 for that matter. Easier said than done? Maybe. Do it anyway.

For 9 more days I’ll be trying to fit workouts in that don’t interfere with tickle time. Then we’ll have a whole new set of problems.

Wish me luck!

To tell, or not to tell?

So I teased you last week in hopes of having pictures to go with my story. We were told that there were over 10,000 pics taken by the photographers along the route. I saw a few and even heard the “click, click, click” as I went by. There’s over 500 posted now and I am not in any of them. Found a great one of hubby, but the very large majority of them are of the “beautiful people” that ran it. Bitter much? Maybe a little. I am not the only one who noticed there were an awful lot of the pics of amply endowed, young, women who could use a little looser clothing. I know it is a much better site than, say, me fumbling through the mud, but I also hoped it would be nice to see “real” people doing it. It’s the world we live in though, isn’t it.

What do I do now. Tell you about the race, wait for some evidence to show I did it? (I am a little sarcastic because I actually had someone tell me they didn’t think I had really ran the race.) I am leaning toward waiting. Since I’ll look back on this someday, I think I would like images to go with it.

The scale is not my friend. The week leading up to the race, I was awful!! I barely managed a workout on that Monday. A measly half hour on the elliptical. It was a crazy week and I ate out FIVE times.

After the race, it was like I had this attitude, “Ok that’s over with. I don’t need to work so hard anymore.” You relax, don’t think it is that important to get to the gym. You made your goal…I felt myself getting complacent. It was made even easier since I injured myself in the race. It was very easy to think that I needed to take it easy.

Monday I realized that this is how it starts. That slippery slope to gaining one pound, two pounds, three pounds……  The up swing of the yo-yo. I made myself exercise. An easy, flat 2.5 mile walk. It was something. I got in 3 more workouts gradually harder as my leg felt better.

I knew my weight would not be good so I decided to measure. something I hadn’t done since the beginning of April. I have whittled away 10+ inches. A hunk of it from my chest and hips. Wouldn’t be nice if the chest became perkier as it got smaller? TMI? Come on, like you haven’t thought it? LOL Now if I can just get that kind of loss in inches off my thunder thighs!

Having this blog helped me stay on  get back on track.  I think I have set my next goal of doing a plain old 5k but in under 30 minutes. I have set the Turkey Trot for my deadline. I may have caught the racing bug. ;-}

Winning is not everything, but the effort to win is.   Unknown

Isn’t talk about my blood sugar level exciting?

I’ve been playing the role of Swim Mom this summer since 2 of my 3 kids were on a city swim team. This last weekend was the big, final district wide swim meet. Am I glad it’s over? Yes and no. It was a great reason to leave the house every day and a required hour of exercise for them during the summer. But I’m ready to not have to schedule my day around evening practice. And we have less than 2 weeks before my oldest starts her school year. This is our one last stretch of relaxation and family play time.

So that’s sort of why I didn’t blog on Friday, but I did WANT to blog. Since Rae is coming home today from 3 weeks in Hawaii I didn’t think she’d mind if I crashed her day.

I weighed myself on Friday, but I think it is an unofficial weigh in. I didn’t do my normal routine and I weighed in with clothes on. Still…the scale claimed I lost a pound. If it had said I gained weight I might have cried.

This week I’ve been making better choices when I eat, and I have been doing something my nutritionist called “testing in pairs”. I test my blood sugar before a meal and then again 1 – 2 hours after the meal to see the change. I can gauge which foods/meals cause my blood sugar to raise more than others and avoid those or modify them to be healthier for me. It helped some, but mostly caused me concern because my morning blood sugar has been hovering around 170 (should be between 90 and 120). This week I’m going to be testing more often. If I can eat so my blood sugars are under control then I will definitely loose weight. If I can’t get my blood sugars under control then it’s time to get back to the doctor for an adjustment of medication. I don’t want that.

Other than my kids swimming and blood sugar level…this week Aims, Rae and I will be together for a few days! We’ll be each other’s support group, I’ll harass them about blogging more, and we’ll try to get a picture of the three of us together. Wouldn’t that be novel. As a matter of fact I just looked through my pictures for the last 5 or 6 years I don’t have a single picture of the three of us together. I’ll have to change that this week.

Wish me luck!

Race Day!

Find your greatness!

The timing of this commercial this week was perfect!

Woke up yesterday nice and early to a roaring wind. I had been watching the weather all week hoping to not have to run in our record heat wave that has lasted all summer. The forecast changed repeatedly, but every one showing a “cold” front coming in Friday night. The temp for race day kept going down. The morning was only in the 50’s with high winds. We left the house with jackets on (without sunscreen!) and wondered how cold we would get when we were all wet.

It was a near hour drive to the race park. Long enough to cause my stomach to gradually get more and more tied into knots. There was a back up of traffic within a few miles of the park thanks to construction which just made the anticipation worse. We got through before it backed up for 9 miles, but so many of the cars were carrying runners that the race organizers pushed back the start. It didn’t help that the fire trucks that were to bring the water for the mud were in the jam as well. At least the wind died down. Hubby said I just went into a zone while waiting.

I think I remember the crowd doing the YMCA song. I did do the yoga stretches and just stared out over the hill we were on and tried to see myself accomplishing the few obstacles that were visible. We were in the second wave which started 70mins. late.  Before your start we all had to recite the following-

• I will face my fears and overcome any challenges!
• I will cheer others on to the finish!
• I will have fun!
• Together we will “FACE THE CHALLENGES!”

What happened next you ask? You’ll have to tune in next week. We are supposed to have pics from the photogs on the course then. I will leave you with a little taste though. I am very sore and stiff, but it makes me feel better that hubby is too! LOL!

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