The evil truth
What’s this? Another post from me?! Earlier in the morning instead of late at night on my blogging day?! I know, it’s like a world record or something!
So, after I read Kris’ blog on Monday morning, and cried my eyes out, I realized that I like this blog and the purpose that we all started it. The past few weeks have been rough. I’ve been dealing not so well with postpartum depression. As a person who has AWFUL problems with body image already, this whole gaining a ton of weight didn’t help with any emotions I was having. I don’t fit right into any of my clothes. It’s depressing. I cry a lot. So yesterday I had my 6 week check up and decided to talk to the dr about how I was feeling. His response? “Sounds like you’re going through some postpartum depression”. He gave me a shot of progesterone and then sent me home with some shots to have given to me. He told me that the shots work very quickly and I should feel a difference by tomorrow! I must say, I’m feeling a little less emotional today. So, here’s hoping that all will go well.
Last week after I blogged I decided that I wanted to give this an honest try. Not just because I was blogging this to anyone who reads it, but because I want to get back to myself. I want to feel good about how I look. I want to be able to wear my cute clothes. I want to be healthy. I want to be a good example for my children and not have them suffer because their mom has a sweet tooth that isn’t funny. So, I sat down, made a menu plan for a week, and went grocery shopping. I also downloaded the app MyFitness Pal on my iphone. I was thinking about what I would eat for my dessert and decided that for now my dessert is going to be fruit. I know that I could have bought sugar free pudding, or sugar free jello, but I really feel that I needed to stay away from all of it to “detox” my sweet tooth.
It hasn’t been easy and there have been times that I’ve thought just forget it. But I didn’t let myself. One night I was soooo hungry for something sweet so I had a vanilla protein shake, it totally hit the spot. My other “sweets” for the week have been strawberries, watermelon, or apples and peanut butter. I have to say, I feel great. I feel like I have more energy and I’m not so… slug-ish. I’ve also walked my kids to school every morning this week. Before you cheer me on too loud, know that the round-trip of walking them is a mere 12 min walk, but it’s something! It’s a start!
I decided to step on the scale this morning so I can report to you how I’ve done. I have to say I was nervous that I’d been working so hard and the scale would show I gained. I told myself even if that was the case I feel good, and will continue on. So, I went to the bathroom, nursed the baby, and stripped down (I’m convinced I can only weigh after nursing)… I watched those 3 lines go across the screen as I waited for my results, and I swear it took way longer than usual. Then my number popped up… I had lost 4.6lbs!!!!!! Talk about motivating! I know that I won’t always be perfect and I know that there might be days that I want to give up. Or there might be times I don’t lose weight. That’s ok. This is a process. A friend reminded me yesterday that it took me 9 mo to get this weight on, it’s not going to be overnight that it comes off. Though that would be nice, huh?
So, that’s how my week was, friends! It feels good to report a loss! Hopefully next week I can report another one!