Life Goes On

I remember vividly when my grandfather died. I was far away at school and the rest of the family was within a few hours of each other. His death was a shock. I felt like he would be around forever. Handling his death in a place where no one else knew him was torture. I couldn’t get a flight out until the next day and I had a few things to do to arrange for being gone, like tell my professor’s about my tragedy. I had a difficult time in that 24 hours focusing on anything… even while I was driving. At one point I remember being angry at all the people on the road simply for going on with their lives, for acting like it was just another day when I knew the world would never be the same with my grandpa gone. I felt like my world had stopped and I didn’t understand how others could function!

This week has been a roller coaster of emotions as we have waited for red tape requirements to be satisfied so my step-dad could get to the hospital he needs to be at for testing and to get put on their liver transplant list. Plus, winter break ended and my kids went back to school, my husband is waiting to interview for a promotion, the laundry needs to be done, and my foot hurts. Life keeps going even though someone I love is going through this insanity.

I tell you all this because I feel a bit guilty that my little family of 5, in the middle of all this, is taking a mini vacation that we planned before Christmas. I am having fun. Really. I’m also texting back & forth with my family a lot and worrying about my kids and husband having fun and frustrated that I forgot to bring my good walking shoes.

In the midst of all this life stuff I have been good at remembering to take time for me and using workouts as stress relief. I need all the stress relief I can get.

Life, some days it is amazingly fantastic and other days it doesn’t matter how beautiful the weather or how cool the venue – it is just hard to smile. I’m gonna put on my swimsuit and give it my best shot though!

Wish me luck.