I have been disgusted frustrated with my feelings about this blog.  I know this is a place of support and encouragement, but I have been embarrassed at how horrible I’ve been lately, so I fell into a familiar “ignore it and it will go away” mode that is a complete lie.  I’m tired of lying to myself and I didn’t see any good in coming here to spew ugliness.  But you’ve asked for it…I really hate the way I look right now.  I only see the outside and that isn’t looking so good.  I know I need to look past that/through that.  Whatever!  It’s where I am.  I really hate the lumps and bumps that weren’t there 6 months ago.  Gaining, losing, gaining, losing, gaining.  The weight comes back in ugly places.  Ugh!

My sweet cousin started a challenge for her dance group.  I crashed it.  It started last week and I blew it off…completely!  What a way to start a challenge.  I tried and failed again?!  No!  I celebrated my birthday!  Serious celebrations!  and then I picked up my booty and got busy this week.  I’m drinking a tub full of water a day and I  have only had 2 DC’s/day.  That’s huge for me!  I have exercised 2 days in a row for at least 30 minutes.  I have a pedometer and I’m even counting my steps – more than 10,000 today.  I have a vision board full of motivational things that I’ve posted all over and I’m speaking them out loud to myself every morning, telling myself what I want to become in the present tense as if I’m already there.  I am keeping a food diary (love myfitnesspal) and would love an accountability friend on it.  I have learned that it doesn’t show weight #’s, only weight lost.  It doesn’t show the food I ate, only if I posted for the day, so I’m not going to see any of yours either.  What do you say?

Maybe a few months late, but I’m back in the game…Are you ready to brush off all the negatives with me?  I’ve got a deep well full of them, but one by one I’m conquering them, and finding me again. If you can’t find me, check the nearest bathroom.  I live there now!drink-more-water-quote


Posted on June 3, 2013, in Rae and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Thank you so much for posting! I’ll find you on mfp and friend you! It really has helped me so much more since adding friends!
    So glad you’re back!!! Love all your motivational quotes you’ve been posting on Pinterest, too!

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