Once Upon A Time…

I had this grand idea that if I became a blogger it would make losing weight fun, exciting, and practically easy. Combining something that I love (writing) with something that is hard for me (losing weight) was supposed to be a magical formula.

Wrong.

I gained weight this week.

Again.

I didn’t post Friday (when I’m “supposed” to post) because I could not have cared any less about blogging or weight loss. I sweated this week, serious work my fat off sweat…and not just because we had a few strange-for-L.A. humid days. I zumba-ed, swam, walked, and cardio/weight trained with effort!

But then again…

The week before I did a lot of sitting and enjoying of this scenery whilst beach camping:

I may have indulged myself a time or two in the last two weeks on less than healthy foods. I maybe even ate some candy which means I totally broke my promise to myself to not eat candy until I hit…whatever the goal was. It’s been so long that I’ve forgotten the exact goal. And all I’ve done is gain weight lately. I said at the beginning of this that feeling fat is not a motivator.

Gaining weight when you are trying to lose is not a motivator either. It makes me want to eat the entire carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream in my freezer.

Did you know that tomorrow (3rd Sunday of July) is National Ice Cream Day? I’d like to say that I’m going to have one single scoop, but I think that’s how my indulgences/overindulgence begin…with permission for a “special” treat and then it carries over to the next thing because I’ve already allowed myself other yumminess.

*sigh*

In theory, I know how I should eat and what I should eat. Why is it so difficult in practice?! I love to exercise and to find different forms of exercise to try (especially if it doesn’t aggravate my plantar fasciitis). It’s the food I can’t seem to get a handle on…at least this week it is.

Usually I am much more optimistic. I need to turn this whole thing around and find a way to start again! First thing on my agenda is to make a list of things that DO motivate me in my quest to lose weight/feel happy & comfortable in my body.

Can I really do this? Do I have the willpower? Some days I am not so sure, but I do know one thing. I do not want to give up. I am not ready to give in to the fat. I hate it. It makes me self-conscious all the time. The alternative is to reinvent, to figure out what I CAN do to accomplish my goal.

I want my happy ending.

Wish me luck!

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Posted on July 14, 2012, in AB and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I love you. Don’t give up. Don’t beat yourself up. Hang in there. Start anew. Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Be excellent. Know I know you can do this and I love you no matter what…I seriously love you!

  2. When you mentioned “in theory I know I should…why is it so difficult to practice?” I thought how much this can relate to sooo much in life. I know I’ve had lots of times when I get frustrated cause I know I should do something, but it’s so much easier said than done. You are so inpiring…thanks for your words.

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