I want, I need, I can, I will
I have been struggling with the scale.
It makes me want to give up.
I workout and diet and put on minuscule weight or maintain.
I go a little lax and I lose one pound.
I don’t keep track but just in general try and I gain four.
I don’t know how to make myself hardcore about this weight loss stuff. I don’t seem to be willing or able to think about it all day, everyday. With every bite of cookie I think “What’s one cookie going to do? It won’t hurt that much.” And then I eat some pizza because it was free and think “I wish the calories were free too” and still eat three slices.
Eating healthy has been so expensive and add that to weight watchers’ monthly fee and I had to stop. I couldn’t justify a program that was costing us so much with seeing very few results. We are trying to buy a house and this just isn’t working. Granted I was never very good all seven parts simultaneously. But I think I need more routine. I need to do the same thing at least every week day. I need to workout. I need to focus more on calories in calories out.
I think that weight watchers taught me what to eat. I have meals that I can go to that I know are healthy, which was one of my major battles when I started. Now I think the next part I struggle with is the exercise part. So my goal for the next week is to see if I can’t find time to work out that works for me. I know I’ll never wake up feel ok enough to work out on a daily basis and this needs to be something I can make myself do everyday. I’m thinking that I’m so lucky that my husband gets home a little after five and we don’t need to eat dinner until around six or six thirty. If I can get some easier dinners for him to prepare, some crockpot things that will be pretty much done, I might be able to make myself exercise and shower in that hour. I will get better at this calorie in, calories out and see where it leads me in this journey.