Choice and Accountability
In my church, we have a Young Womens program for girls ages 12-18. They have a theme and in it are the words “Choice and Accountability”. I have been thinking a lot about my own choices lately, and how I have sidestepped being accountable for them. This week has been a mix of crazy and amazing, and as I reflected on the crazy…along with the amazing, I started thinking about my choices..and who I am ultimately accountable to.
Tuesday night I was literally speechless as I was presented an award (that I had no idea was coming) for “Commanders Award for Civil Service”. It is a pretty big honor(especially for a civilian) and was accompanied by a medal and ribbon. I was nominated for my volunteer work as FRG (Family Readiness Group) leader for my husband’s Company. basically, I try my best to take care of the families. As the Battalion was deployed this past year, it was a big task..and I tried my best. I realized that recognition is awesome, as long as it is deserved. While I don’t know that I deserve what I received, I do know that I am looking a lot closer at my actions and choices..and trying to be accountable for them.
This led me to an awesome conversation with my baby sister. We are planning a trip this Summer, and that was our initial reasoning for chatting. Then came the accountability check when she asked, “How’s your eating going?” For someone with lapband, that is the million dollar question. For me, that is the equivalent of the walk of shame lately. I have not been doing well. I have snacked. I have given into the carbolicious wonders that graced my table at Superbowl Sunday. I have completely lost my mind, self-esteem has gone down the tubes, and the scale started movement in the wrong direction. All of this has led me to a bit of a spiral, and I needed that call from my sis-wu to make me accountable for what I had been doing. The greatest part, was I wasnt alone. She was struggling too, and we immediately came up with goals and a game plan. We are, starting Monday, having daily accountability checks with each other. I am excited about it. I realized that I cannot do this alone, and she and I have so much in common, that we will be able to understand (and be harsh), because we know how far we can push. We also decided on a goal. We WILL be well under the 200lb mark when we see each other this Summer. It is achievable. I have not struggled, cried, sweated, starved, and endured unspeakable pain for NOTHING. I want this too badly. I want to be healthier. I want to be HOT gosh darn it. LOL. The only person holding me back is me…how unfair is that? No more. No thank you. It’s fatgirl kicking time!!!!!