not what good looks like
What is the best thing you remember about being a teenager? Go ahead and think about it for a minute. I really would love to know. (you can comment below)
If I’d asked 15 year old you that same question would you have given the same answer?
It’s been 25 years since I was 15. I won’t make you do the math. I’m 40. (What? I weigh myself each week and take a picture to share with you. You think I’m embarrassed about how old I am? Psh.) I’m so far from 15 that my oldest will be that age before 2012 is over…even if the Mayans knew what they were talking about.
Dang! She’s cute even without a tan…and in that lovely bathing suit. My elbows haven’t changed. Now they’re just flanked by flab. I still love the beach as much as she did. I still like my hair long. She and I have much in common, but there is one point on which I would vehemently disagree with her. This is what she wrote on the back of this photo in 1987…
In my theory on “how I let myself get so fat” one of my main points would be that I never thought I was fit or thin or healthy. Something embedded in my brain at a young age that I was always too big. I’d like to shake that girl, share my perspective and tell her to take care of herself!
Gah! This is depressing. It’s a good reminder that even constructive criticism can make a teenage girl feel defeated. Encouragement! Encouragement is what teenagers need in every aspect of their life. I need to be better at that with my beautiful daughter. She is ten times prettier than I ever was and more athletic and funnier and more comfortable in her own skin. I hope I contributed to that.
What does this have to do with me and my week? Good question. I’ve been getting a lot of, “Hey! You look good!” comments lately. While I appreciate the sentiment I don’t really believe them. I know I look better and I’m making progress, but “good” not so much. A few friends have said they can see the inches coming off. Me, too. Those compliments are easier to believe. But does my disbelief in the others show that I have the same problem that my 15 year old self did? Do I just need perspective?
Honestly, I don’t know the answer to that question. I am far away from reaching my goal, but I am making progress. I really appreciate the compliments and the encouragement. REALLY APPRECIATE! That’s one of the things that keeps me motivated when I have weeks like this one. My week? Oh, well I think I’ve discovered that 2 intense workouts and half heartedly watching what I eat will put me at maintaining my weight, because I’m at EXACTLY the same weight as last week (so why post a photo). Guess I forgot I was supposed to try harder this week.
I start classes on Monday. I’ll be taking 13 credit hours this semester. Things are about to get hectic. I need to plan. I hate planning (read that like the whiney 15 year old me is saying it), but I recognize that in order for my life and for my family to function I need to overcome my hatred.
Wish me luck!