Get out of my way

I like to run.  I do.  Running!  Not the kind you do when something big is coming at you and you have to move or get barreled over.  I actually enjoy it.  Feel good about myself doing it.  Love the feeling of achievement from it. I NEVER thought I’d ever feel that way about running.  Crazy!

My BFF came to town on Friday.  Made plans to meet up for pizza with friends.  Did I go? No…  Instead I ran!  Seriously?  Now, Trev had swim practice too, so it wasn’t just for me, but I could have easily skipped it.  I didn’t want to.  I wanted/needed to run!  I’m so glad I did too.  Because I was short on time, I decided to get in what I could on the treadmill.  I ran an entire 5K.  I know I’ve run one before, but this time I knew it wasn’t a fluke, wasn’t just the adrenaline from the race.  I actually ran a whole 5K.  And I could have kept running, but time didn’t allow me to.  My head gets in my way so often, I wonder how long it kept me from believing I could.  It was a breakthrough for me.  It’s nice to get out of my own way like that.  I know I can do the 10K and might even be able to run the whole thing.  I know the 1/2 marathon is something I can do…not easily, but I believe I can.

I’m not saying I’m doing well at that in all areas of my life- getting out of my way.  I need to do better at this in several areas.  It’s been a tough couple of weeks emotionally.  Hormones messed with me big time but in addition to that I felt like my biggest cheerleader let me down.  I didn’t realize how much I needed the support from him, how much I depended on it.  I would like to be strong enough to do this all on my own, to have better self-esteem, but I guess I’m not there…yet.   I have had a really bad attitude with this lately.  Shed too many tears over it.  But truth is truth, and being completely honest here, I really need to know he is one of my biggest supporters, that he sees my achievements and cares how I do,  that he encourages me to do even better and helps me believe in myself.  I need him pushing me at the end, when I’m all out of breath telling me I can do it, I can finish the race.  I guess it says a lot for how much I love him and how supportive he’s been in the past.  One time he doesn’t and I fall apart.  I’m a lucky woman. I need to get my head around that too.  See, I need to get out of my way!

Checking in:

Water!  I can do better.  I slipped this weekend.  I drank way too much DC, not enough H2O.  I did decently during the week, though.  Gotta watch my weekends.

Bed!  I got myself to bed close to midnight almost every night (except the weekend)  I am still working on this.

Workouts!  I did really well here.  It seems to be a good plan for me

I am so very close to being in the 160’s.  This is my week.

I’m adding one more thing this week.  I want to write down one positive thing about myself every day.  I need to focus on that.  Hopefully this helps.


Swear and Tears


Posted on January 30, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. With as much as we cheer each other on, it just doesn’t mean as much or is the same as having that one person recognize it. It’s easy for me to discount any changes I think I see just because hubby doesn’t see it too. I wish I had words for you and me too, but I don’t. Just know you are an inspiration to me!

  2. I love your quote/pic at the bottom. And I think I’ll work on that idea of writing one positive thing about myself each day. That’s great advice. So thank you and have a great week.

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