sassafrassin dagnab varnrummin scale

I have been pouting. Yes, I’m a grown woman and I pout…but only about important stuff.

Last week when Aims posted on Friday I felt like she saved my bacon (yummmm…bacon).  I worked extra hard  last week. I had worked out more and worked out harder. I had been super careful about what I was eating. I had looked forward to stepping on the scale to see my progress! Then…WHAM! Smacked in the face with this

I had weighed in and gained a pound and a half! I was frustrated, unhappy, embarrassed and a little bit ticked.

Let the pouting begin! It didn’t make any sense to me. It was so discouraging. It didn’t make me want to work harder. It made me want to stop trying so hard, so I kinda did. I realized after reading Rae’s Monday post that I was self sabotaging. I began thinking more about what I was doing. There was a whole day last week where I kept asking myself, “Do you want something to eat or are you hungry?” It was effective. I’m thinking of putting it in vinyl on my pantry door.

Tuesday I went to the podiatrist. I have a stupid foot problem called plantar fasciitis. I call it stupid, because it is. Two of the possible causes are being overweight (check) and repeated strain…like the kind of strain that occurs when you are working out and trying to lose weight (check). It’s a dichotomy! A big, fat, stupid dichotomy. My foot has been bothering me a lot and before I start training for the half marathon I’ve signed up to run in May I thought I’d better get some expert advice. I didn’t like his advice. To sum up: Rest. Don’t train. Probably won’t be able to do the half marathon. Stupid doctor. Stupid foot pain. More pouting.

I was dreading  DREADING weighing in this morning. I almost talked myself out of doing it. I had been pouting in my behavior, my attitude, on facebook…everywhere. I didn’t want or need another reason to be discouraged.

I kept thinking about something I overheard a woman say when I was out and about. I didn’t hear any of the conversation beforehand, but when she said these words they planted themselves in my head: “You just have to change your lifestyle!” I didn’t hear any of the conversation afterward because in my head I was mocking her (Oh is that all?!)…and I’m pretty sure she was referring to a third person that wasn’t even there. I hope that I haven’t made this whole process sound easy. I hope that you realize that I am struggling every day with decisions I’m making about what I’m putting in my mouth, how to adjust my behavior in situations where I used to make bad decisions, with finding motivation to do the hard stuff. This is NOT a diet or weight loss program for me. I am changing my lifestyle. There is no “just” about it. This is a Dadgum Change in my life! There is no turning back. Which is why I stepped on the scale this morning even though I did not want to.

I am so glad I did!

I guess my hard work from the week before took it’s time catching up. My husband said he knew I’d lost weight when he heard me say, “That can’t be right!” (he’s not allowed in the room when I weigh in) I did it twice just to be sure. Maybe it was the burpees or liners Mandy “made” us do in exercise class this morning (my two least favorite and also highly effective exercises), but I will take it! Do you realize this puts me a mere 3 pounds from having lost my first 20 pounds?! If I get back on my game and actually work hard this week, really, really hard, I might hit the 20 pound mark by next Friday.  Well, I’m going to just try.

Wish me luck!


Posted on January 20, 2012, in AB and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Good luck! You are a brave, brave woman and I admire you. I have been doing the 17-Day Diet myself, also more of a lifestyle change than a diet and man is it hard to give up all of the yumminess I have used as comfort while adjusting to our new home and area and just plain missing my family and friends. And it is SO darn easy to self sabotage. I have had a pretty nasty cold and decided that I should return to my comfort foods for the last week since I was feeling so yucky. GRRRR! Now I have to go through all of the sugar withdrawal headaches all over again. Maybe if I had to show my weight weekly. . . yeah right! Anyway, good for you! Keep it up. You’re my hero!! 🙂 Love ya!!

  2. AB, I have plantar fasciitis too. What’s worked for me:

    1. Shape-ups shoes or cowboy boots.
    2. Instead of stretching and irritating your tendons, use a heavy-duty, hand held electric massager on your calves. Getting the calf muscles to relax will REALLY help in the mornings.

    Good luck!


  3. I hear ya. I was training for the Turkey Trot when I tore a meniscus. Treatment no running on hard surfaces or pavement. The Trot isn’t done on marshmellows! “It will help if you lose weight.” It is a vicious cycle. Lose wight so you won’t be in pain. Too painful to train to lose the weight. I so agree, STUPID!

    You are so close, keep it up! To see the rainbow a little rain must fall!

  4. I love you AB.

  5. Whoohoo! It’s working. I love to see when it’s working, such a happy day! You’re doing awesome.

  6. Hey there–sorry to comment on an older post but I had to chime in . . .

    YES! Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid plantar fasciitis!

    I trained for a month to run/walk a 5k (emphasis on *walk*–I did the three miles in 48 minutes, so it’s not like I went overboard), then woke up the morning after completely unable to walk.

    Three months later, I’m still sentenced to tennis shoes *all the time*, and I can only use the elliptical or swim. At least the pain’s better.

    Oh, no, wait–pain’s still there, too.

    Meanwhile my endocrinologist is all, “EXERCISE! LOSE WEIGHT!’ and I’m all, “I’M TRYING! AUGGGHHHHH”

    So, yeah. Stupid.

    Keep fighting the good fight!

    • I feel your pain. I’m still dealing with my pain. Have you seen a podiatrist? They have a few more tricks up their sleeves than just wear tennis shoes all the time. Best of luck!

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