sassafrassin dagnab varnrummin scale
I have been pouting. Yes, I’m a grown woman and I pout…but only about important stuff.
Last week when Aims posted on Friday I felt like she saved my bacon (yummmm…bacon). I worked extra hard last week. I had worked out more and worked out harder. I had been super careful about what I was eating. I had looked forward to stepping on the scale to see my progress! Then…WHAM! Smacked in the face with this
Let the pouting begin! It didn’t make any sense to me. It was so discouraging. It didn’t make me want to work harder. It made me want to stop trying so hard, so I kinda did. I realized after reading Rae’s Monday post that I was self sabotaging. I began thinking more about what I was doing. There was a whole day last week where I kept asking myself, “Do you want something to eat or are you hungry?” It was effective. I’m thinking of putting it in vinyl on my pantry door.
Tuesday I went to the podiatrist. I have a stupid foot problem called plantar fasciitis. I call it stupid, because it is. Two of the possible causes are being overweight (check) and repeated strain…like the kind of strain that occurs when you are working out and trying to lose weight (check). It’s a dichotomy! A big, fat, stupid dichotomy. My foot has been bothering me a lot and before I start training for the half marathon I’ve signed up to run in May I thought I’d better get some expert advice. I didn’t like his advice. To sum up: Rest. Don’t train. Probably won’t be able to do the half marathon. Stupid doctor. Stupid foot pain. More pouting.
dreading DREADING weighing in this morning. I almost talked myself out of doing it. I had been pouting in my behavior, my attitude, on facebook…everywhere. I didn’t want or need another reason to be discouraged.
I kept thinking about something I overheard a woman say when I was out and about. I didn’t hear any of the conversation beforehand, but when she said these words they planted themselves in my head: “You just have to change your lifestyle!” I didn’t hear any of the conversation afterward because in my head I was mocking her (Oh is that all?!)…and I’m pretty sure she was referring to a third person that wasn’t even there. I hope that I haven’t made this whole process sound easy. I hope that you realize that I am struggling every day with decisions I’m making about what I’m putting in my mouth, how to adjust my behavior in situations where I used to make bad decisions, with finding motivation to do the hard stuff. This is NOT a diet or weight loss program for me. I am changing my lifestyle. There is no “just” about it. This is a Dadgum Change in my life! There is no turning back. Which is why I stepped on the scale this morning even though I did not want to.
I am so glad I did!
I guess my hard work from the week before took it’s time catching up. My husband said he knew I’d lost weight when he heard me say, “That can’t be right!” (he’s not allowed in the room when I weigh in) I did it twice just to be sure. Maybe it was the burpees or liners Mandy “made” us do in exercise class this morning (my two least favorite and also highly effective exercises), but I will take it! Do you realize this puts me a mere 3 pounds from having lost my first 20 pounds?! If I get back on my game and actually work hard this week, really, really hard, I might hit the 20 pound mark by next Friday. Well, I’m going to
Wish me luck!
Posted on January 20, 2012, in AB and tagged AB, burpees, discouraged, exercise, facebook, fasciitis, foot pain, foot problem, half marathon, motivation, plantar fasciitis, podiatrist, pouting, stupid foot, Weigh in. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.