I have been having a very, glass half empty, last couple of days. My brain seems to be triggering the things I haven’t accomplished..and sending me spiraling into the “yucky place”. You know the spot. It’s where you justify eating badly, crying at the drop of a hat, and being all around moody. That would be me. However, in the past, I wouldn’t even acknowledge I was going there..I would just allow the doldrums to take over and come what may. This morning, after realizing I was crying for truly no great reason…I picked my butt up, and decided enough was enough.
You are probably thinking, sheesh..”your husband just got home two weeks ago, why aren’t you happy???” Let’s just say, war is Heck on those that experience it..and those they come home to. We are readjusting, and it takes time. Fortunately I have wonderful friends that have been through this, and are here for me…even if it is just to vent. I love my husband and I love that he is a Soldier. The baby steps continue. LOL.
So, I am going to attempt (hey, I am not perfect..I am predicting slip ups. LOL) to be THANKFUL for what I have already accomplished. I am grateful for this journey, because it is letting me re- acquaint myself with the me I never knew I was missing( I swear in my head that made sense), but I really like her. I don’t cringe (as much) at pictures I see of myself, which for those that know me, understand that is a BIG deal. I love that the “small size” jeans I wore to his homecoming, are becoming loose on me. I am thankful that I have a fantastic support system that tells me to look at the positives, and not the BIG picture, because it will motivate me to keep going. Such wonderful advice. My body is not as young as it used to be, and the aches and pains don’t go away as fast as they used to. I am thankful that I have a body that is, for the most part, healthy enough to allow me to continue. Oh, and I still LOVE my hands, just sayin’…they are my skinny area, and I enjoy being able to slip my bracelet off without unclasping it and how my rings twirl around because they are loose. LOL. Losing weight has definitely been my focus these past months, and I forget that it is not the only thing interesting about my life sometimes. I have an AMAZINGLY sexy, awesome, wonderful man who I have the privilege of calling my husband. He loves me, that has never wavered, and at times I am in awe that I am on the receiving end of such a gift. Our love has blessed us with four beautiful and equally amazing kids that warm my heart. They are also some of my biggest cheerleaders, and I am extremely thankful for that!
It is also Veteran’s Day this week, and a friend shared something with me on FB, that I have included below. All my struggles, all my stress, and even my tears are gifts. They remind me that I am still here. That I have opportunities and choices because of brave men and women who stood up and fought FOR ME. No, I didn’t post awesome numbers and amazing stories of weight loss wonderment this week…I shared me. And, when it comes down to it, that is who I am trying to get to know most of all. Have a great week. Be thankful. Remember that we all struggle…it is how we conquer those struggles and move on that makes us amazing!!