Giving up…

I’m writing this in between scanning pictures of my Great Aunt Joan from the last 70ish years. Tomorrow is her funeral and for some crazy reason I volunteered to put together a slide show. Maybe because I love her…not loved….love. Always will. She and Uncle Sam were a couple since she was a teenager and I loved to watch them together. Loved. Don’t get to do that any more.

Joan died exactly six years after her beloved Sam. I remember all the summer holidays at their house and, most importantly, in their pool. Every Christmas they would have a present for me…until they decided I was too old. Then I got cash on occasion and eventually they’d buy presents for my kids. They hated Utah. It reminded them of their sweet son who died too young of cancer while attending BYU. They sucked it up and came to Utah for me when I finished at BYU (or thought I was finished and walked in graduation). I’ll never forget that kind of love.

To the right of me is Rae. Yup, we've been friends a long time.

Uncle Sam flirted with every single one of my girl friends that I brought to the house. Aunt Joan always made sure she had something my picky husband liked to eat when we came to visit. Anyone I know who met them never forgot them and even asked about them years later. Those are the kind of people who make growing up fun.

My daughter’s middle name is Joan. That’s how much I love her…both hers.

I’m sure you’re thinking something like, “That’s sweet, but what the hey does that have to do with you losing weight?!”

Good question. I don’t know. Except that it happened in my life this week and life happens to all of us. Sometimes we get stressed, need to celebrate (or mourn), have no time, feel alone, want to bake….life. This week I might have just given up (at least for a few days) when my aunt died, but instead I stuck to my promise to Rae (NO CANDY), I went on an extra walk, I cried (I’m sure cranking out tears burns calories, right), I looked for healthy ways to express my grief. It wasn’t a perfect week, but it was better than the old me who may have eaten through a giant bag of M&Ms.

Nonetheless, my focus this week was not on losing weight. When I stepped on the scale this morning I did not expect this

I lost two whole pounds since last Friday. Wow. I didn’t happy dance. I almost kicked myself. My thinking was if I can lose 2 lbs without hardly trying (just the changing of the habits) then imagine how much weight I might’ve lost if I had put more effort into it! (Ok, maybe I happy danced a little)

By the same token, if you are trying to lose weight like one of our regular readers, Kris (thanks for your comment last week), and not having these kind of results…please don’t be discouraged. It’s just time to reassess. Basic math. Calories in vs. calories out. Maybe this would be a good week (with all the candy temptation!) to keep close track of exactly how you are doing in that department. If you need help keeping track (I know it ain’t easy!) May I suggest a free website that I’ve used before SparkPeople.com. The most important thing in tracking calories is total honesty with yourself. Yes, one M&M can count.

I also want to suggest again something Aims suggested. Measure. Take your measurements and keep track of the inches you are losing. Sometimes you won’t lose lbs, but you’ll see the inches coming off. I think it has something to do with muscle weight gain.

Don’t give up. We have hard days in life, but I know how bad you want to lose weight. I understand how it feels to look in the mirror and not see who you think you look like. I totally get how hard it is to work your butt off in an exercise class next to thinner women and worry about how they’ll look at you if when you can’t keep up. I appreciate the trainer who is gaining weight so he can see how hard it is to lose weight (have you seen that article?), but I know how you feel right now. DO NOT GIVE UP. Reassess.

Nearly done scanning pictures. Tomorrow is going to be a long day for me, but I’m going to try to start it out with a quiet morning walk. This week I’m taking things a day at a time and trying to push myself a little each day.

Wish me luck!

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Posted on October 28, 2011, in AB and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I look forward to seeing you (actually I can’t wait) tomorrow to celebrate life. Life’s passing, life changes, life assessments, LIFE. We can do a happy dance together and I’ll be there to cry with you too…no one cries alone in my presence…seriously. I love Sam…that dirty old man is probably patting my butt in the picture above…or pretending to…and Joan, she had a way of making you feel home. I haven’t seen her in years but she will be missed, as is Sam.
    We’ll have to work hard to be smart at a place like The Catch!
    I’m so proud of you for staying with it when the going got rough. (NO CANDY! YEAH) Are you joining me through November too? Sounds like it might be helping a bit…you know?! 2 pounds is awesome and deserves a dance for sure!!!

  2. Reassess. What a novel idea! 😉 A reminder we all need… all the time! Thanks AB, sure love ya. Sorry to hear about Joan, she sounds lile lots of fun!

  3. You seriously need to stop bringing me to tears every time I read this blog. My husband is starting to worry. This one really opened the flood gates. It is funny you bring up reassessing. A doctor that my hubby works with thinks it is medical at this point. (He was talking to him about me.)Some signs and symptoms he asked about have become prominent in the past year. I am suppose to go in and have a full work up this coming week. I hate doctors, but the chance that I am not crazy is appealing. It is hard to make people understand you really are doing everything you’re suppose to when there isn’t tangible evidence. I appreciate the suggestions though and know you all are trying to help. On that note I did drop 3.6lbs this week. A jolt to my motivation and resolve for sure!!

    To all those who are struggling, like me, keep it up and assess all aspects of your health!!

    • More than 3 and half pounds in a week! Woohooo! That is awesome! I’m glad you are seeking the advice of a medical professional. There are numerous medical reasons that would cause you to have a difficult time losing weight. Rule those out….or find a good treatment. Keep me posted!

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