Names

When my little Kindergarten Calleya came home singing the “Mommy Mommy bo-bommy bannana fanna bo-fommy Mommy” song last week, it took me back to the days when names people called you were silly and didn’t have much effect. Unless, of course, they were the “mean names”. I have been living with those for years now. A lot of times they aren’t directly said, more inferred through a look or roll of the eyes. And, more often than not I get my feelings hurt. I am sensitive. I cry. I also crawl deeper into my self-esteem pit of despair. It is those names that have caused me grief for so long. In my teens it was “Betty Boop”, because she and I had the same endowment problem…only I didn’t have the accompanying bitty waste and booty. Later in life the jabs got harsher, and the pain a bit harder to shake off. Why do people go for the easy insult that hurts the worse in anger? I am guilty of it. I have said things that I wish my brain would have filtered before they came out. Weight is an easy target..and I got hit A LOT.  Words, I found out..can also do GOOD as well.

Last night, a new leaf was turned, and somehow it has sparked something in me. Before I go to the hit and misses on my list of the week, I want to share something with you. As you know my husband is currently deployed to Iraq. What most of you don’t know is he is coming home VERY SOON, and I am over the moon with excitement. A few months ago, I became the FRG so-leader for his Company. Last night, we had our Re-Deployment Brief on the pending return of our Soldiers. In the Army..Re-Deployment = Coming Home, for those that don’t know. I walked in a bit early, as I needed to get some Soldiers and spouses updated. The Battalion Commander’s wife has become one of my dear friends through this deployment. (much to the dismay of my husband. LOL). She walked in after me and said, “We are going to hae to change your name”. I looked at her with a blank perplexed stare and said, “Ummm…to what?” She got this huge grin on her face and said, “we’re gonna have to start calling you skinny! You keep losing so much weight every time I see you!” You would have thought I had won the lottery, had my husband home, or woke up on Christmas morning. I had to blink back the tears of pure joy that sentence gave me. Am I “skinny”? Nope. I still have ways to go. However, just having someone who doesn’t see me on a daily basis say that I looked “skinny” made my ummm…everything. It gave me that extra boost of confidence to walk away from the treat table and grab the bottle of water. It made me feel good. A name, a word, a thought…it was as simple as that!

Now for the nut and bolts of me. LOL. I have been struggling with an arm that makes me feel like igor because it just doesn’t want to function (thanks to a messed up rotator cuff), cold weather, and sick kids. It really put a damper on exercising and I was certain I had not only NOT LOSS anything from the 256 I was the last time I weighed, but I truly expected the number to have spiked. So, I procrastinated and I walked away from the scale, and I headed for my measuring tape and notebook that I have been documenting my journey in. I started looking at the measurements both pre and post surgery. Then I measured.The results are since my last measurments..3 weeks ago:

Neck- down 1/2″(1 3/4″ lost to date), Chest- 1/2″ down (5 1/4″ lost to date),Hips- 1″ down (6 1/2″ lost to date), waist- 2″ down (9 1/2″ lost to date)Arm: no loss (1/2″ lost to date), Calf: 1/4″  down (5 1/4″ lost to date), Ankle: 1/2″ down (1 1/2″ lost to date).  And…..wait for it, the scale says : 252.0!!!!! 4 pounds lost!!

I may not be “skinny” but heck..this week, I am kinda leaning that way. LoL.

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Posted on October 12, 2011, in Aims. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Ah! I am so excited for you! *big smiles* This has been a great journey for you – and it makes me so excited to see you loving yourself! You’re such a strong, hard working, fun loving, talented woman. (((hugs))) You are amazing! Here’s to the always happy, beautiful, skinny you!

  2. Aims, You have had an incredible week…in your mind and body. It’s awesome to watch!.
    I remember in the nutrition class that Mom and I went to, that retraining your mind is a big part of it. It takes practice because our negative voice has been so prominent. We need to become skillful at positive interpersonal communication. It doesn’t come naturally – how sad is that – we have to practice positive self-talk. After a while, it takes over and the negative decreases. Sounds like you’re working on it…Awesome! Now keep it up!

  3. Oh, Aims! That is AWESOME!!! You’ve convinced me. I’m going to start measuring. I need the boost.

  4. Forgive me for randomly popping by – I noticed a comment of yours on OBB, and it led me to your blog. I just wanted to say that I did all of this over last winter – and lost fifty pounds. It is a long, challenging, frustrating life – but in hindsight, the time just flew by, and the results are life changing. I wish you all the best, and hope that you are hanging in there through the holiday season.

    Cheers and good luck!

  5. YEAH!!!!! You go girl!

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