Numbers

I don’t like numbers. I never adored math, and balancing my checkbook gives me a headache. However, the numbers I detest the most have always been those that smile up menacingly from the dreaded scale. I was never “skinny”. In high school I was the girl with ample boobs and I began to feel that no matter what the scale said, I was fat. It led to an exhausting habit of putting myself down, after all nobody likes the fat girl.

When I met my prince charming I finally felt that I had found someone who loved me for me… chunky monkey and all. I settled into a security, and I began to put on more weight, then I would lose it(but never all of it!). I was going through a constant yo-yo effect on my body. As the rhyme goes, after the love, then marriage, yes along came a baby carriage. Our sweet baby number 1, was followed by 3 more over our almost 16 years of marriage. To blame the weight on motherhood (hello..do the NUMBERS. She’s 14!) would be dishonest, I did this to me..nobody forced me to eat. What I found besides the dreaded numbers going up (which eventually led to the death of my scale) was a creeping self-consciousness and an even bigger problem: horribly low self-esteem.

A few months ago I made a decision that has changed my life, and I will gladly get into that soon. Nothing is easy, and it is a constant struggle. For now I am confronting the numbers head on…and it is CRUNCH TIME!! This picture was taken the day the love of my life deployed. It was also my jumping off point..and now there is no turning back. The Numbers will not rule my life, they are GOING DOWN!!!! So everybody hang on..it may be a bumpy ride!

Advertisements

Posted on August 31, 2011, in Aims and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. The death of your scale….awesome. You have such a great attitude! I can’t wait until your hubs gets home so we can see some of the newer pictures!!!

  2. I don’t know you but I know AB and I love that you guys are doing this. I am so excited to hear about your highs and lows. You are going to be such an inspiration and find out that you have so much worth and you are worth the whole world. 🙂
    Good luck and can’t wait to hear how these coming weeks go.

  3. Awesome. 😀 I love your writing voice – very sincere with a little kick to it! You’re amazing. It’ll be so fun to see your journey as you get to find yourself and take control. You got this! 😀

  4. I am so glad you ladies are doing this. I am a not-so-proud member of the chunky monkey club and just recently made the same decision as you ladies. My goal is to run a 5k. Did I say run, no walk, No run. Oy maybe I need to rethink that goal. Ha Ha. Anyway, I am very happy to see others who struggle just like me and can get some motivation from! Thanks ladies for being so open!!

  5. Aims, I think it’s fair to say that I’m your biggest fan. I’m so proud of you and this journey you have started. Just like AB I can’t wait for Allan to freakin get home so we can see more recent pics, though I will be a spoiler and tell everyone that when we Skyped all I could think about was how much thinner your face was than mine… a motivator to me to get back on track and get off these last 20 lbs. I love you, I’m proud of you and I’m here for anything to help! YAAAAY healthy life style changes!

  6. Amy !!!! I love you and Im so proud of you! I look forward to watching your journey!

What you say matters...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: