I don’t like numbers. I never adored math, and balancing my checkbook gives me a headache. However, the numbers I detest the most have always been those that smile up menacingly from the dreaded scale. I was never “skinny”. In high school I was the girl with ample boobs and I began to feel that no matter what the scale said, I was fat. It led to an exhausting habit of putting myself down, after all nobody likes the fat girl.
When I met my prince charming I finally felt that I had found someone who loved me for me… chunky monkey and all. I settled into a security, and I began to put on more weight, then I would lose it(but never all of it!). I was going through a constant yo-yo effect on my body. As the rhyme goes, after the love, then marriage, yes along came a baby carriage. Our sweet baby number 1, was followed by 3 more over our almost 16 years of marriage. To blame the weight on motherhood (hello..do the NUMBERS. She’s 14!) would be dishonest, I did this to me..nobody forced me to eat. What I found besides the dreaded numbers going up (which eventually led to the death of my scale) was a creeping self-consciousness and an even bigger problem: horribly low self-esteem.
A few months ago I made a decision that has changed my life, and I will gladly get into that soon. Nothing is easy, and it is a constant struggle. For now I am confronting the numbers head on…and it is CRUNCH TIME!! This picture was taken the day the love of my life deployed. It was also my jumping off point..and now there is no turning back. The Numbers will not rule my life, they are GOING DOWN!!!! So everybody hang on..it may be a bumpy ride!